08/27/2021
I am just going to start by being honest. I have been struggling lately….isolation is hard! That is why I have decided to start sharing our story again from the beginning and sharing it all. I sit at home with Kevin during the week and our story plays on a loop from the beginning. I am hoping that getting it out and sharing this again, raw and unfiltered,will help me process.
November 7, 2014 I married the love of my life and we knew we wanted to start a family right away. We had boy and girl names picked and we couldn’t wait to start the rest of our lives. Two days after Christmas that year we got the best news! We were pregnant, went to the doctor and I was 3 weeks. I had a very easy start to my pregnancy, not much morning sickness and still had a good amount of energy. At my 20 week anatomy scan we learned that I had a single umbilical artery and that could possibly cause some growth restriction but nothing to be too concerned about, additionally our baby had a multi cystic kidney that would not function. Again, I wasn’t too concerned, my mom had a kidney removed and I knew it wasn’t that big of a deal to only have one functioning kidney. We did not get to find out the gender at this time because little man wouldn’t cooperate. We decided to go to a private ultrasound clinic to find out gender rather waiting for another appointment with my doc. I want to say it was around 22 weeks that we had our appointment to find out gender. We did the big gender reveal and announced that our baby boy’s name would be Kevin Scott. Kevin for Dave’s dad and Scott is Dave’s middle name.
The weekend of May 16th, 2015 I had a big deployment that I was in charge of for the company I worked for at the time. It was extremely stressful and I ended up working on it most of the day Sunday the 17th. Monday morning I went into work earlier than normal to make sure everything went off without a hitch. I had a terrible headache that started on Sunday and just would not go away. I ended up leaving work early. That evening we went over to Dave’s parent’s because I still had a bad headache and we took my blood pressure and it was pretty elevated. We talked with my doctor who upped my blood pressure medicine, and we talked about just waiting it out to see if the higher dose would work, but ultimately decided to go into the hospital. We went to St. Joe’s in St. Charles and they took me straight up to OB because I was 24 weeks and would have to be monitored. After tests showed that I had protein in my urine it was determined that I had superimposed preeclampsia. I spent the next few days in the hospital and my blood pressure was under control. They were trying to decide if they should send me home on bed rest or send me to St. Mary’s and let them assess me and make the decision now that I was high risk and would eventually deliver there. So on Thursday the decision was made to transport me to St. Mary’s and let them assess me. (Side note I went to high school with the paramedic that transported me and it was a bit awkward and embarrassing.) On the ambulance ride to St Mary’s my BP spiked again but they thought maybe it was just the excitement and anxiety of being moved. I got to St. Mary’s they got me all settled and my BP wasn’t coming down. They transferred me to a more severe part of the floor and got me on a magnesium drip (horrible experience by the way for anyone that has been on magnesium you know!). Friday they continued to monitor me and things were somewhat stable until I felt this extreme warmth and a small gush. I looked down and there was blood all over my sheet. Dave quickly got the nurse and they called the docs who came to do an ultrasound. It was the start of a placental abruption, but I was still considered stable at this point. I called my mom who lives in Florida and told her what was going on, my cousin was able to get her a flight right away. Dave and I were sitting in my room with my in-laws chatting and I calmly asked them to leave and asked if Dave would please get a nurse. The nurse comes in and I tell her “I am sorry but think I am bleeding again”. She rushes over, starts to clean me up, and I just keep apologizing which she promptly tells me to stop and next time to scream for everyone to get out and stop being so polite, lol. The docs come back for another ultrasound and they think I am still stable enough. Saturday May 23rd Kevin started showing signs of distress and the doctors made the decision we should move forward with a C-section while he and I were still stable. While they prepared for my C-section they sent in a Neonatologist to talk with us. I was not prepared for everything we were about to hear. How there was only a 50/50 chance he would survive delivery, the likely-hood he would have brain bleeds and severe developmental delays, the months he would need to stay in the NICU, and the roller coaster ride we were about to get on. In all of this, the most deafening thought in my head was why was I failing; failing to carry my baby to term, failing to protect him, failing to do what so many other women could do effortlessly and beautifully.
