Parents Without Guilt

Parents Without Guilt Coaching and community for cycle breakers. Poet, therapist, armchair philosopher, & parent educator. In person and virtual psychotherapy.

Licensed in the state of California.

Taking a hiatus as we welcome our second baby very soon! Drop a line if you have advice, encouragement, or validation fo...
11/17/2024

Taking a hiatus as we welcome our second baby very soon! Drop a line if you have advice, encouragement, or validation for making the jump from 1 to 2. Happy parenting!

Summer’s here, and so is guilt-free parenting! ☀️ Dive into these tips for a stress-free season:1️⃣ Have an exit strateg...
06/05/2024

Summer’s here, and so is guilt-free parenting! ☀️ Dive into these tips for a stress-free season:
1️⃣ Have an exit strategy: Picture this – the house is at witching hour. Choose your peace and call in for reinforcements. Send the kids to the neighbor’s for a playdate, or call in grandma for a favor. Even just a change of scenery, like heading to the park, can work wonders.
2️⃣ Embrace a loose structure: Think of fun, predictable activities and attempt to make them daily. Consider splurging on a gym pass or swim lessons. Your sanity is worth it! Or find simple, free ways to structure to those long summer days. Get the kids involved in meal prep for dinner or do dance party clean ups – collaborative chores can be a less stressful option than peeling your kid away from their screen.
3️⃣ Remember, it’s temporary: When the days seem endless, remind yourself that school will be back in session soon. Embrace the chaos, soak up the moments, and know that routine will return. It doesn’t have to be perfect. Permission to compromise with your own standards.

If I had a bingo card for guilty thoughts as parents, we would have quite a lively game to play. These are the most comm...
04/11/2024

If I had a bingo card for guilty thoughts as parents, we would have quite a lively game to play.

These are the most common I hear from parents. It truly feels universal.

I think it’s because we either: 1) struggle with these feelings towards our own caregivers or 2) see issues like this come up online or 3) care deeply that our kids thrive when they grow up.

For me, it’s a layered picture of all three.

It can be hard to redirect our thoughts but it can make a huge difference in our day and our demeanor.

How do you cope with guilty thoughts as a parent?

Guilt, in its essence, is not inherently negative. It can be a sign of empathy, conscience, and a deep sense of responsi...
04/03/2024

Guilt, in its essence, is not inherently negative. It can be a sign of empathy, conscience, and a deep sense of responsibility—qualities that are invaluable in parenting. However, the problem arises when we parent from a place of guilt. This often leaves us feeling worse, spiraling into a cycle of self-criticism and feelings of inadequacy. The mantra of “not being good enough” can become a haunting refrain, overshadowing the joys of parenting and our successes.

Parenting out of guilt tends to focus on short-term fixes aimed at alleviating our discomfort, rather than addressing the deeper needs of ourselves and our children. It can lead to overcompensation, inconsistency, and even resentment. Recognizing this pattern is the first step towards change. It’s about acknowledging that while our intentions may be rooted in love, the outcomes of guilt-driven actions often do not serve anyone well. WANT MORE? READ THE BLOG. (link in bio)

✨Y’all it’s about to get real.✨The online parenting world is full of mixed reviews about what we are supposed to do or n...
03/08/2024

✨Y’all it’s about to get real.✨

The online parenting world is full of mixed reviews about what we are supposed to do or not do.

It’s confusing and overwhelming AND can be eye-opening or a surprising comfort on hard days.

I’m creating a virtual village that prioritizes care of each other and affirming there’s no one-size fits all approach.

I want to connect with parents yearning for a vibrant, playful, deep relationship with themselves and their f*ck ups. Wherever you are, whoever you are — you are welcome here.

Say goodbye to perfection, guilt & shame.

Say hello to warmth, vitality, and wellbeing!

Join the party. 🎉 Signup for my emails to start your guilt-free parenting journey. Link in bio. 💗

Self blame has been a constant companion of mine. It’s a strange mixture of pain avoidance and a days-long shame spiral....
03/06/2024

Self blame has been a constant companion of mine.

It’s a strange mixture of pain avoidance and a days-long shame spiral. 🌀 Let’s be real. It’s a very slippery slope.

Self blame is a protective mechanism that gives you a sense of control, because if it’s your fault, it feels like you can change it — and life can be pretty difficult. We all want to feel like we can change things, especially when we can’t.

But self blame doesn’t help us process the loss, the hurt, the trauma. It easily gets us stuck in flight, flight, freeze response.

Accountability is a soothing balm for self blame, because it accepts that you have a role to play, but it’s not a permanent blunder. It’s a way of acknowledging how important repair is to relationships, as it often leads us to deeper clarity or connection.

Sometimes accountability is ending a relationship or asking for extra help or speaking up for oneself.

In parenting, modeling accountability can be a form of love & maturity that breaks generational cycles.

I used to feel afraid of getting any kind of feedback about my parenting, because my perfectionism nagged me until I was shut down. Now, I feel that I can take it or leave it — leaning in when those I trust provide me with reflection and exercising caution when it’s someone else’s opinion.

Whether you’re holding yourself or a coparent accountable (an equally tricky dynamic), it’s tempting to get lost in shame and blame.

Try this:
1. Keep it factual or descriptive. “When I undermined your parenting in front of the kids, that wasn’t cool. I need to step away or ask to speak to you one on one.”
2. Practice compassion. “I’m learning too and I’m glad I get to make mistakes as we’re figuring out new parenting.”
3. Try again/Reset. “Let’s do that again and mommy will speak calmly this time.”

A mantra for happy, guilt-free parents: I am a Human and I am Learning.

✨Dear parents,✨Taking the stigma out of anger as an emotion is a life calling for me. That’s because it can become such ...
02/13/2024

✨Dear parents,✨

Taking the stigma out of anger as an emotion is a life calling for me.

That’s because it can become such a heavy source of shame when we experience anger so big, so often that we feel like a volcano of rage.

Whether we express it openly or not, anger is a great teacher.

It’s pop psychology to say “anger is a secondary emotion.” This means there’s other emotions underlying the rage. But I find that it can be misleading to say that - a whitewashing of anger as if it’s not allowed to exist in its own right.

Can anger be mixed with other emotions? Of course! Everything is possible.

It can also just be there. When I experienced postpartum rage, I found myself silently depressed about it. As if I was living in someone else’s body.

I wasn’t actually mad about what was going on in the moment. Little things that made me angry, I logically didn’t care about.

It was hormonal and trauma-related. If I knew it was possible to rage out postpartum, I wouldn’t have felt so alone.

🫶Need help now? Find a perinatal specialist on the directory or call their helpline. 1-800-944-4773 (Bonus: they have support groups for dads!)

🌟✨ Hey there, dear parents! ✨🌟I’m Rachel, your go-to child whisperer turned parent coach and a proud mama, just like man...
02/07/2024

🌟✨ Hey there, dear parents! ✨🌟
I’m Rachel, your go-to child whisperer turned parent coach and a proud mama, just like many of you, navigating the ups and downs of the online parenting world.
With a decade of heartfelt experience serving children, youth, and families in therapeutic settings, I’ve journeyed through the laughter, the tears, and those magical breakthrough moments that make it all worthwhile. 🌈💖
I’ve been fortunate to extend my passion into a cozy nook of my own - a private practice where I embrace families, and perinatal moms & dads, offering a guiding light through the different stages of parenthood.
But wait, there’s more! I’m here to give you a fresh perspective on the trials and triumphs we face as parents. It’s more than advice; it’s about understanding the depths of our identities and the spirited little beings we’re raising.
So, if you’re all about embracing the chaos with grace, learning a tad more about yourself and your kiddos along the way, and joining a community that gets it - you’re in the right place! 💕🌍
Let’s do this!

Accountability: Keeping It Real & Simple with Yourself ✨Dear Parents, let’s talk about holding ourselves accountable to ...
01/12/2024

Accountability: Keeping It Real & Simple with Yourself ✨
Dear Parents, let’s talk about holding ourselves accountable to our own needs, so that your whole family can thrive. This time of year, we can get a boost of energy for our self care goals then fall away pretty quickly. Sustainable change is about making sure we’re paying attention to what’s not happening, while being gentle with ourselves. Take time to reflect and be realistic about what you can and can’t do as a parent to sustain yourself for the long haul. Here’s how to check in with yourself:
1️⃣ Personal Needs: Have I had enough alone time, nourishment, and sleep? It’s okay if not. Make a plan to take care of one thing you need. A little goes a long way.
2️⃣ Ask for Help: If I’m struggling, who can I ask for support? Is it time to go to therapy? Get some coaching from a friend or professional? You’re not meant to do it alone.
3️⃣ Keep it Simple: Am I trying to do too much? Moms especially are trained to “do it all” with no gas in the tank. Let the cracks show so others can step in. It’s okay to take a step back to step forward.
Holding ourselves accountable to our own wellbeing is how we model to our kids that we’re human too. Even an infant benefits from a parent who takes a deep breath and a quick bite before the next round of parenting!
You got this.

🥂Cheers to the year behind & the year ahead. I know you’re busy, so I took the liberty to make some resolutions for you,...
01/01/2024

🥂Cheers to the year behind & the year ahead. I know you’re busy, so I took the liberty to make some resolutions for you, dear parents.
1️⃣ Say goodbye to comparisons - our families are unique, and we can celebrate each person’s creative groove with parenting.
2️⃣ Keep embracing the learning curve - our mistakes are stepping stones to new growth.
3️⃣ Make peace with the unknown - recognize that life’s unpredictability can lead to memorable moments.
4️⃣ You matter - give yourself the gift of time for personal well-being and know that it enhances your family’s harmony.
5️⃣ Believe you are enough - notice how you showed up every damn day (even the off ones) for love and for whatever other outlandish reasons we decided to become parents.💓

One of my favorite creators ever is the librarian. I think because the library was such a familiar place growing up as ...
12/29/2023

One of my favorite creators ever is the librarian. I think because the library was such a familiar place growing up as my family in those early years didn’t have money to do much else.
Even when my dad got his engineering job & we did fun things like go to Disneyland, I still loved curling up with a book in the corner of a quiet public library.
Fast forward to my parenting years and the library again has become a fixture. Miss Claudia and Miss Marnie being the angels they are serving the little people with as much heart as they can. So important to our family that they came to our neighborhood Halloween party.
All this talk about empathy and kindness and I struggle to be that way as a parent every day, while I watch these incredible grown ups look at each kid like the sacred beings they are. This is my thank you to the kind adults who gave my child love just because we went to the library every week for story time.
This is my thank you to adults who make the saying “it takes a village” a reality in my life. We were not meant to parent alone.
Here’s my heart extending kindness to all the parents around the globe grieving & striving & protecting their children’s right to a better future. May we link arms with parents we never expected to find common ground with. 💗

To all the wonderful parents out there, as the holiday season unfolds, it’s important to acknowledge the pressure and ex...
12/24/2023

To all the wonderful parents out there, as the holiday season unfolds, it’s important to acknowledge the pressure and expectations that often come with it. It’s a time filled with joy, but it can also bring challenges, and it’s okay to acknowledge both.

1️⃣ Embracing Imperfection: The holidays come every year, and it’s natural for not everything to go as planned. Remember, your children will cherish the warmth and love of these moments, not the perfection of every detail. It’s the collective experiences, the laughter and even the mishaps, that create lasting memories.

2️⃣ Understanding Your Family’s Needs: Every family is unique, and what works for one may not work for another. It’s okay to limit holiday activities if you or your children feel overwhelmed. Saying no to certain events or shortening visits is not only okay, it’s important for your family’s well-being. Trust your instincts and prioritize what feels right for you.

3️⃣ Flexibility and Self-Compassion: Adjusting expectations and being flexible are crucial during this time. It’s completely understandable to feel disappointed if things don’t go as planned. Remember, the holiday season isn’t a one-off event. There will be more opportunities to create those special moments in the coming years. Grant yourself the kindness to try again or to save those special activities for next year.

This season, let’s focus on what truly matters - the connection, love, and moments of togetherness we share. Your presence is more than enough.

Take a moment to breathe and remind yourself of how much you care as a parent. Here’s to a holiday season filled with genuine moments of f*ck ups and slam dunks. 💛

Address

Folsom, CA

Opening Hours

Monday 10am - 5pm
Tuesday 10am - 5pm
Wednesday 10am - 5pm
Thursday 10am - 5pm
Friday 10am - 5pm

Telephone

+19165883740

Website

Alerts

Be the first to know and let us send you an email when Parents Without Guilt posts news and promotions. Your email address will not be used for any other purpose, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

Contact The Practice

Send a message to Parents Without Guilt:

Shortcuts

Share