03/14/2024
Lightbulb moment ...
I've dealt with diagnosed Chronic Fatigue since 1995. Before that, I had undiagnosed brain fog and deep fatigue that I blamed on being lazy.
Throughout these many decades of good times and then bad episodes, I always self-inflicted blame. Each episode brought up "why" and "what did I do to cause it". It doesn't take a brain surgeon to know that further self-inflicted stress doesn't make it go away any faster.
I also would quickly sink into "oh my god, this is my new forever". I'd forget that each horrible episode always melted away at some point.
Fast forward to this past week. On Sunday, due to time change or more physical activities or whatever, I had a fatigue day with light nausea. I tried to push through and go for a walk. Not a great idea.
Then on Monday, I didn't feel well enough to go to my Silver Sneakers class, but I could get to the yoga class afterwards. On Tuesday, I had a women's club luncheon and meeting that I attended then came home and napped. On Wednesday, the mild nausea and deep fatigue continued but I got to a rehearsal for a play that I'll be in this weekend for a charity.
Today (Thursday), I felt good enough to go to Silver Sneakers class. But, when mild nausea set in again during class, I knew not to stay for the next class as I usually wish to do on Thursdays.
HERE'S THE DEAL!
For the first time since 1996, I didn't delve into "why" or "what did I do wrong" or "OMG, this means I'm permanently sick". I just told Bill that I needed to nap, sleep late in the morning, eat when I could eat and do the minimum.
I DIDN'T BLAME ME!!!!!! Without thinking, I knew this will be temporary. My gut said so.
At the ripe old age of 71, am I growing UP and finally healing some old stuff??????
Kathleen Rockney, Wellness Advisor