Chuck and Ashley

04/28/2026

Most anxiety isn’t a sign that everything is falling apart. It’s usually a sign that you haven’t taken the time to figure out what you want.

Clarity brings peace. Not because your circumstances changed, but because you finally know what you’re dealing with.

Try this: get off your phone, turn off the TV, go for a walk with nothing in your ears. Grab a notebook. Write down what’s stressing you out, then turn those stressors into something you can actually pray through. Pay attention to the thoughts you keep replaying. Process them instead of running from them.

Clarity follows. And when clarity shows up, anxiety loses a lot of its grip.

04/19/2026

Life update from Ashley:

It is extremely bittersweet to share that I am resigning from my role at Crossroads Christian Church as the adult ministry director.

During my time serving in this role, I met and connected with over 500 individuals! (I sat down and opened up a note I titled “Crossroads Names.” I counted 478 names of individuals listed. This did not include staff, their families, elders, and so many other people I’ve met.)

I am so grateful for the friendships that were built, and I know many of them will continue!
My last day is May 21. 🤍

I am excited to share that I am going to be working full-time with Chuck in our ministry/business! He has done an amazing job expanding our impact, and he’s already pushing me to do more than I saw possible. I thought I was the one doing a lot of driving over the years. I am realizing more and more how we complement one another and accelerate each other so we keep moving forward, slowly and steadily (and sometimes quick!) I like quick. Chuck is more patient. 😉

Want us to partner with you or someone you care about? We coach individuals and couples. Our couple-to-couple coaching has grown, and I’m very excited about its effectiveness. (I’m so energized that it helped me walk away from a ministry position where I saw lots of impact. But there’s something special about seeing marriages thrive and witnessing broken marriages become whole again. I sometimes think about their children and grandchildren. I get to be a part of their happiness —and likely, we will never even meet. It really is an honor.)

🤍

On Friday, I got to record again…hadn’t done that in a while! Appreciate getting to work with Lucas Ball again!

04/17/2026

If you keep waiting for the right time to work on your marriage, your spouse might be running out of patience.

"After the kids move out."
"After this project wraps up."
"After the holidays."

We hear these timelines on a regular basis.

Marriage feels like it can take a back seat because it's not on fire…yet.

But here's what we've seen dozens of times: one partner has been quietly checking out or maybe keeping score. Noticing every postponed conversation, every blown-off concern. And they haven't said anything, not because they're fine, but because they stopped believing it would change anything.

When they finally speak up, the other partner is blindsided. "Where is this coming from?" It's been coming for years.

The best time to work on your marriage is before it's falling apart. Because by the time it feels urgent to both of you, one of you has usually already started grieving the relationship being over.

04/16/2026

Could it be too late to save your marriage?

We get asked this a lot. Here's our honest answer.

04/13/2026

Audiobooks.com is running a 60% off promotion on "I Used to Be ____" right now. We wrote this book for the losses that come with a funeral and the ones that don't. The job. The relationship. The version of yourself that didn't survive the hard thing.

If you've been sitting with a loss you haven't fully processed yet, this might be the right time. $8 and a few hours could shift something.

Navigate Through Grief with Biblical Mental Health Tools When you suffer a loss, you enter the realm of 'used to be.' You used to be married. You used to be employed. You used to be pregnant, secure, healthy, sober, thin. You used to be a son or daughter, a brother or sister, a mother or f...

04/07/2026

If you're getting married, or you know someone who is, premarital counseling is worth it.

We know it can feel like a weird thing to do when everything is good and you're excited to get married. But that's actually exactly when it works best.

Research has found that couples who completed a premarital program reported about a 30% stronger marriage than those who skipped it. Separate research shows they also have a 31% lower chance of divorce. Those aren't small numbers.

You'll cover the things most couples avoid because they don't want to be a buzzkill during engagement: money, s*x, kids, in-laws, faith, and what you each actually expect daily life to look like. Having those conversations before the wedding is a lot easier than having them after.

If someone you love is getting married this season and you want to give them a gift that actually matters, ask them if they've done premarital. Offer to help cover the cost. The flowers are going to die and the cake is going to get eaten. The marriage is what you're actually investing in.

We work with couples on this. If you want to know more, reach out. 😀

03/18/2026

Something keeps happening with this book that we didn't expect.

People pick it up for a friend. Someone going through a divorce. A parent who lost a child. A coworker who got laid off. They grab a copy thinking, "I know someone who needs this."

Then they start reading it. And somewhere around chapter two, they stop thinking about their friend.

Because it turns out they had their own grief they hadn't named yet. Not the kind that comes with a funeral. The kind that comes with a move. A career change. A friendship that quietly ended. A season of life that slipped away while they were busy surviving.

Unprocessed grief doesn't always look like sadness. Sometimes it looks like numbness. Or cynicism. Or just being really, really tired of pretending everything is fine. A restlessness you can't quite explain. A distance from people you used to feel close to.

If you've been carrying something you haven't named yet, this might be the book that helps you name it.

I Used to Be ____ . is on sale on Amazon right now. Link in the comments.

03/05/2026

Here’s a simple clarity exercise to try this week.

At the end of each day, write down the best part of your day and the part you didn’t like. Just those two things.

Once you see what keeps showing up in both columns, you’ll know exactly what needs to change and what to protect.

Complaining is not the same as asking for what you want.

One week // More clarity

02/19/2026

We get this call often.

One spouse finally reaches out, and the first thing they tell us is that they wish they had listened sooner. Their partner had been asking for counseling for months, sometimes longer, and they kept putting it off. Too busy. Not that bad. We'll figure it out. Whatever the story was.

And now they're on the phone with us in a very different kind of conversation.

Here's what we want you to hear if your spouse is asking you to go talk to someone: go. Just go.

We know the resistance. It feels like an accusation. Like admitting something is broken. Like you failed. Like if you agree to sit down with someone, you're confirming what you've been trying to convince yourself isn't true.

But think worst case. You go, and you find out things are better than your partner feared. Great. You've now got proof and some tools. Or you go, and you find out there's something more serious to work on. Also great, because now you caught it before it costs you more than you want to pay.

The ask itself is the signal. When someone you love says "I think we need help," that's not an attack. It's an honest moment, and those are rare. And it's often not easy for the partner asking either. It means something is off, whether that's in them, in you, in how you two communicate, or in the relationship itself. All of those things are easier to fix when you address them early.

They become much harder to fix when you wait until one of you is done waiting.

If your partner is asking, go.

PS: even if it feels too late, still go.

02/15/2026

When he first got in line to have a book signed I (Chuck) thought he was just kidding around.

He wasn’t. Our son Preston waited at a book signing to have his book signed.

There are people in your circle who believe in you and look up to you more than you realize. The ones closest to you are watching.

What you do with that matters more than any professional win you’re chasing.

02/14/2026

Praying together as a couple is powerful for your relationship but can also be a challenge.

We want to help you gain the skills and confidence to make it happen and that’s why we wrote this plan!

Over 8k people have already started it over the few short weeks it has been released.

Invite your spouse to start with you!

You want to pray together as a couple. It’s so important, yet many couples find it difficult or intimidating. This practical plan is filled with small, simple tools to help you train yourselves to pray together. Each day includes discussion questions and a prayer; we’re excited for you to grow c...

01/14/2026

We've been hearing the same thing from more and more men lately: "Drinking is causing a problem in my marriage."

These guys are high-functioning professionals with good jobs and productive lives. But most nights of the week, the drinking is creating distance, avoidance, and conflict—especially when tension shows up with the kids or in their marriage.

Research shows high earning individuals and more educated professionals drink more frequently than others, but they maintain "functional" patterns longer.

Here's where we start with clients: Get curious about what need the drinking is meeting. Relaxation? Decompression? Coming down from caffeine? Once you identify the actual need, you can meet it in a healthier way.

The dysfunction often serves a function. Understanding that is the first step to changing it.