Cecilia C. Oaks Counseling

07/27/2025

To a molecular level, folks.

Did you know?

Trauma affects us up to 3 generations back. Research genograms and look for the patterns. There have also been studies. Check out the mouse experiment where the traumatized population procreated with mice who were not traumatized. It took 7 (SEVEN) generations of diluting the genes of trauma before an offspring down the line broke the cycle. Survival drives are STRONG.

With PTSD there is a "before." In this before, life was safe, happy, and healthy. In CPTSD, there is no "before." Their entire experience and environment are unsafe. (Then consider what unsafe means and pick your poisonS.) Due to the unsafe environment, their brains are always seeking safety.
Survival Mode = Fight/Flight
Anger/Sadness (disconnect)

If you are unable to fight back, nor are you able to exit the situation, then freeze. Dissociation. If freezing is not sufficient enough, then we will faint. Research Broken Heart Syndrome. 💔 Nothing shows up in the physical tests, yet the heart becomes slowly paralyzed.

The Point:

So! If you consider how Survival Mode works on a physical level (nervous system), then you are aware (peep the brain scans) 🧠 that the prefrontal cortex (executive function) AND the left SIDE of the brain go offline? So, the whole system becomes disrupted. Digestion is thrown off. So are the respiratory and circulatory systems.

I point all this out to make another point that physical brain development is affected 😕 on a physical level.

Example:

PER DR. GABOR MATE,

If we cannot fight or flee, we are stuck. If we are stuck, then what? Then, the brain 🧠 is seeking distractions. It is a COPING MECHANISM! Distractions = Safety (Addictions?)

If all we have control of in our environment is our minds (not brains, the brain is a mechanism), then we do indeed seek distractions. Also, the brain loves pleasant surprises. Cheap dopamine via social videos? (I'm just as guilty, y'all.)

If we are constantly seeking distractions/dissociation WHILE our brains are physically developing, then.... Welcome to the human condition and statistics.

As always, research the ACEs.

07/24/2025

A poem sneak peek:

I have lost my love. 'Tis not the love gained from last that I have lost, but is the love that gave me life that I have lost...

I was 13 years old when I started this poem about my mother. She vamped out when I was 9.

I forgive her now. I understand a lot more than what I did then. No one ever wakes up at any point in their life like, "I've decided to..."

That's not how it works.

07/20/2025

Awareness is powerful. 🙃

07/19/2025

Focus your energy internally. It activates different parts of the brain from when we are externally focused.

07/16/2025

A gentle reminder, y'all.

07/15/2025

07/10/2025

Another day in "how do I do this job?"

Some think therapists "just sit and talk all day."

Oh, no Buttercup.

I think. I feel. I assess. I problem solve. I offer validation.

I assess who is the healthier of two parents.

I aim to gain the kid with the best solution possible.... IF a court will listen. Bless you if you're in the south.

Let us pray and step aside political cards to play. (Come at me)

Other than teachers and parents, a weekly therapist spends the most time with your child. Keep that in mind.

Do us therapist go off what we're told? Yes. We work off information. But, if you're real good, you can read the subtext.

I hate it here.

07/10/2025

This goes well with the post I just posted. Call crazy, but I am in the opinion that if we change societal dynamics, we could change the world. (P. S. I live in the Bible belt of America....)

As I posted before... Resolving poverty is a MASSIVE play in reducing crime and such.

If y'all would like me to provide stats and statistics, I am happy to do so. But, I encourage all to do their own research. Don't take it from me. As a court told me once, I'm just a Masters level therapist. So, take it from the experts with their PhDs. Take it from social studies over the decades.

I could go on, but I think this is enough food for thought.

07/10/2025

Ok, y'all. So, I have been in the field of mental health for almost 18 years. Beginning at age 22, ripe out of undergrad college.

I swear this whole existence rests on a base binary. Spectrums, if you will.

I have spent months watching FB reels on DCS (TN calls it that). Aka: CPS.

Some time ago, a mentor told me that a certain department (NOT DCS/CPS) is "a necessary evil."

Do I agree? Overall, yes. Watching FB reels of police and CPS investigations add to this sentiment, for me personally. And, oh, do I have my own storIES to add to this topic.

So, let's do some story time with problem solving. I hope y'all like to read.

There are so many personal work stories that I could share. But, here are two that at this time, time hit my brain.

Do I think such departments are necessary evil? Absolutely, I do. Do I like it? NO.

Can a good idea in practice (outside of theory) be poorly executed in practice? Absolutely. Can it be used inappropriately? Oh, for sure. I have either been privy to or dealt directly with the situation.

Here me out. Am I practical in this? No. Again, theory vs ex*****on.

It's a double-edged sword.

So many children experience neglect, abuse, or abandonment.

Maybe we, as a whole society, should address this.

And call me crazy, I PUT UP A WHOLE POST ABOUT THIS.

Maybe we should focus on healing and repair. Because if you heal yourself, you may be more apt to change your view. You may he apt to actually prefer your children over yourself.

HEAL YOURSELF.