Message Therapy

Message Therapy Message Therapy is the non-invasive healing of ailing prose by Robert Sutherland: The Message Therapist. I am chiropractor of communication.

"Message Therapy" is more than merely pointing out any ailments in your writing. I gently work the kinks out of disjointed writing and align thoughts to make them flow more smoothly. Message Therapy retains your voice, releases your creativity and relieves your stress.

Clever journalism at its finest, in my humble opinion. I thought I was texting Elon Musk. But a 25-year-old woman who wo...
05/21/2020

Clever journalism at its finest, in my humble opinion.

I thought I was texting Elon Musk.

But a 25-year-old woman who works at a Sephora in Silicon Valley replied.

Apparently this happens to her every single day.

So I did a story on her:

Lyndsay Tucker, who works at a Sephora beauty store in San Jose, Calif., has tech billionaire Elon Musk's old cellphone number. So every day, she fields calls and texts intended for him.

When your wife comes home from the hospital, it's nice to welcome her with a sweet Tweet.  It's even better ... if you s...
05/29/2018

When your wife comes home from the hospital, it's nice to welcome her with a sweet Tweet. It's even better ... if you spell her name correctly.

01/15/2018

Afraid you could never be skilled enough to write copy worthy of being posted on the Internet?

Pffft. Someone with an IQ in single digits was paid for this. How much worse could you possibly write?

"Keep in mind that the average IQ for someone who is considered to be of normal intelligence is between 95 and 105 – that means that there are definitely more than one person on this list that have the vast majority of us beat when it comes to what is going on inside their head at any given time."

Aced this OCD test.What would you expect of The Message Therapist?  My clients expect perfection and that requires a per...
06/23/2017

Aced this OCD test.
What would you expect of The Message Therapist? My clients expect perfection and that requires a perfect score on such tests.

Shouldn't The Gainesville Times newspaper be able to spell "Gainesville" correctly?
04/15/2017

Shouldn't The Gainesville Times newspaper be able to spell "Gainesville" correctly?

04/07/2017
So, was the lawyer lying when his pants caught fire?Florida Lawyer's Pants Catch Fire During Arson Trial http://nbcnews....
03/09/2017

So, was the lawyer lying when his pants caught fire?

Florida Lawyer's Pants Catch Fire During Arson Trial http://nbcnews.to/2m6PU0d

Defense attorney Stephen Gutierrez was in a Miami-Dade courtroom on Wednesday when his pants started smoking.

Dear Stupid Crooks,You could make more money with your scams if you hired me to edit your crooked pitches.To contact me,...
01/26/2017

Dear Stupid Crooks,

You could make more money with your scams if you hired me to edit your crooked pitches.

To contact me, call the FBI. They'll forward your message to me.

Thanks,

The Message Therapist

Address

Gainesville, GA

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