04/19/2026
The Shadow I Faced đź–¤
Dream đź’
Last night I had a dream that I murdered someone.
I don’t remember all the details… but I remember the feeling.
I wasn’t with my Wife… and that alone felt off.
Instead, I had a man beside me—helping me cover up what I had done.
We were hiding the evidence… moving in secrecy… trying to make it all disappear.
Somewhere in that chaos, it felt like we were more than just partners… like we were lovers.
And even though everything felt wrong… I was still in it.
Message đź’«
I’m realizing this dream wasn’t about violence… it was about what I’m going through right now.
Between traveling, being out of my normal environment, and everything shifting around me… I feel a little ungrounded.
Like I’m not fully in my own space… and even in my dream, I could feel that.
But deeper than that… I know this is tied to my dog.
Even if it hasn’t fully happened yet… my heart feels it.
This dream feels like grief.
Like trying to process a loss that I’m not ready to face.
The “murder” wasn’t about harming… it was about an ending.
Something I love… something that’s been part of my life for so long… slowly slipping away.
And the cover-up?
That feels like me trying to hold it together… trying to push the feelings down so I don’t completely break.
The man in my dream… the secrecy… the unfamiliar energy…
that feels like the parts of me trying to cope in ways I don’t even recognize.
Grief doesn’t always show up as sadness.
Sometimes it shows up as confusion… disconnection… even darkness.
And not being with my Wife in my dream reminded me just how much she grounds me…
because when things feel heavy, she’s my safe place.
This dream is showing me that I don’t have to hide from what I’m feeling.
I don’t have to “cover it up” or stay strong all the time.
I’m allowed to feel this.
I’m allowed to grieve… even before the moment fully arrives.
Because love runs that deep.
⸻