The Nickel Jar

The Nickel Jar Hi & welcome! I’m Susan - wife, mom of 2, & special needs advocate finding grace & laughter in the chaos. Hi there! I’m the 4th of 5 kids, all with “S” names.

The Nickel Jar is where I share moments, lessons, & life – the beautiful, messy, & everything in between. I’m Susan, and I am the voice behind The Nickel Jar. Why?! I guess my parents thought it would be cute… or confusing?! (And since I know you’re dying to know — in birth order → Stevan, Sandra, Scott, Susan, Stuart.) These days, I’m a wife and mom, a special needs advocate, and an expert juggle

r of all the things — from managing Big Brother’s competitive travel soccer team while also managing a team of 10 international employees (Shanghai → Boulder!) for one of the largest med tech companies in the world… to all the life stuff in between! Yes, it’s as exhausting as it sounds, but I wouldn’t trade it. When I’m not working or carpooling stinky teenage soccer boys around the Mid-South, you’ll find me with my nose in a book (or a book in my ears — yes, audio books count as reading, and I will die on that hill!), journaling during the brrrr! months, and gardening in the spring and summer. However, being born and raised in the South and on SEC football (RTR, y’all!), soaking in the crisp beauty and smells of fall during football season is my absolute favorite. I’ll gladly take in any stray dog I find, but I will not — under any circumstances — provide the same act of kindness for a cat. I said what I said. I have no chill – I move fast, I eat fast, I talk fast. I’m loud — full stop. That trait is born out of necessity when you’re the 4th of 5 kids (prove me wrong). I’ve never been accused of not being heard. I love words and grammar and will forever champion the use of the Oxford comma, and cringe a little inside every time I hear someone say “irregardless.” And much to my mother’s chagrin, I have a mouth that could make a trucker blush. They are called sentence enhancers in our house and the only rule is, as long as they are used responsibly, i.e., they aren’t being slung at someone, do as you will. This blog is my coin jar — a place to share the nickels of wisdom, frustration, joy, and humor I’ve picked up while raising two wildly different boys: Aiden, my self-starting, high-achieving, soccer-loving firstborn, and Eli, my joyful warrior navigating autism, ADHD, dyslexia, and more acronyms than anyone should ever have to manage. Stick around for a bit and take a peek inside our messy, loud, busy, and often hilarious life. My hope is that you’ll find pieces of your own

For the first time ever, a little boy showed up at our front door uninvited, rang the doorbell, and asked for ELI to com...
04/22/2026

For the first time ever, a little boy showed up at our front door uninvited, rang the doorbell, and asked for ELI to come out and play basketball with him.

I don’t know that I can fully explain how that hit me in every feel the way it did.

But I snapped a picture of them playing basketball in the driveway…
and just stood there in it - watching from behind the curtain in the upstairs window.

Because what looks like an ordinary moment to most people…
can feel like everything to a little boy who’s waited 13 years for it.

I had a plan.Pack hospital bags.Be prepared.Be calm.Be in control.Instead… I ate a burger, went to sleep, and woke up in...
04/20/2026

I had a plan.

Pack hospital bags.
Be prepared.
Be calm.
Be in control.

Instead… I ate a burger, went to sleep, and woke up in labor 7 weeks early with ZERO bags packed 🙃

Add in a 12-hour “clock,” a c-section, and a NICU stay… and it's safe to say — things didn’t exactly go according to plan.

Sharing Aiden’s birth story today because somehow that tiny 4 lb 11 oz baby is now 16 🥹

Lemme Tell Ya Bout A - posted & linked below ☺️

https://thenickeljar.com/lemme-tell-ya-bout-a/

The Nickel Jar: What Looks Like... Isn't Always What Is...What looks like defiance is most often confusion. What looks l...
03/22/2026

The Nickel Jar: What Looks Like... Isn't Always What Is...

What looks like defiance is most often confusion. What looks like not listening is often him feeling like he’s drinking information from a fire hose. What looks like a breakdown might be frustration from not having the words to explain what’s going on in his head. What looks like shutdown is most often his brain reaching its limit.

New post. Linked below.

https://nckljr-mabvp.wpcomstaging.com/what-looks-like-isnt-always-what-is/

Nobody tells you that becoming a special needs parent also means earning an unofficial PhD in Googling.Late nights.Waitl...
02/15/2026

Nobody tells you that becoming a special needs parent also means earning an unofficial PhD in Googling.

Late nights.
Waitlists.
Podcasts in the car line.
Reading research papers like they’re beach novels.

At some point, “downtime” just becomes research time.

And half of it isn’t even about fixing anything — it’s about making sure you’re not crazy.

If this is you… you’re not alone. 🪙
New post up. Linked in comments below.

Turns out, parenting a special needs kid comes with a side of unsolicited opinions, boundary testing, and learning who a...
02/07/2026

Turns out, parenting a special needs kid comes with a side of unsolicited opinions, boundary testing, and learning who actually shows up.

SPOILER: I’ll still choose my kid every time 😉

New blog post - link in comments 😘

https://wp.me/pgQlTF-lm

There was no magic chart. No sticker system. No consequence that fixed it.What actually helped wasn’t impressive or tidy...
02/01/2026

There was no magic chart. No sticker system. No consequence that fixed it.

What actually helped wasn’t impressive or tidy — it was slowing down, lowering demand, and choosing safety over compliance.

This post is about what didn’t work, what finally did, and the moment I realized regulation wasn’t optional — it was the prerequisite. 🤍

If this feels familiar, you’re not alone - new post link below. Also, enjoy these pics of tiny E sleep eating 😂

https://wp.me/pgQlTF-ld

I used to think we were failing because progress never seemed to stick. One thing would improve… and another would fall ...
01/26/2026

I used to think we were failing because progress never seemed to stick. One thing would improve… and another would fall apart.

What I know now? We were treating pieces instead of the whole nervous system.

This post is about how ADHD, autism, learning differences, PDA, and regulation collide — and why nothing works if safety isn’t there first. 💛

Also, enjoy the boy and his pups.

💥 Everything Collides - 🔗 → https://wp.me/pgQlTF-kY

🥇 For years, I thought Eli’s resistance meant he wouldn’t. I didn’t yet understand it meant he couldn’t — not until his ...
01/19/2026

🥇 For years, I thought Eli’s resistance meant he wouldn’t. I didn’t yet understand it meant he couldn’t — not until his nervous system felt safe enough to access the skills he already had. Regulation wasn’t a strategy. It was the prerequisite.

✨ Regulation is the Pre-req 🔗 below✌🏻

When a child is dysregulated, they aren’t being difficult — they’re being flooded. For years, I thought Eli’s resistance meant he wouldn’t. I didn’t yet understand it meant he couldn’t — not until …

Not defiance.Not refusal.Not manipulation.Anxiety.Learning about Pathological Demand Avoidance changed how I understood ...
01/11/2026

Not defiance.
Not refusal.
Not manipulation.

Anxiety.

Learning about Pathological Demand Avoidance changed how I understood my child — and myself as his mom.

👉 Link in comments.

In honor of Husband’s 48th birthday, I thought I’d throw it back to his 38th first 😘 Happy Birthday, baby daddy 🥳✌🏻
01/09/2026

In honor of Husband’s 48th birthday, I thought I’d throw it back to his 38th first 😘 Happy Birthday, baby daddy 🥳✌🏻

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