Nicole's Crooked Smile

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Nicole's Crooked Smile

My name is Nicole Kowalski and I was diagnosed with salivary gland cancer in 2018, 2020, and 2022.

15/03/2023

It’s been a rough week and a half since getting my third infusion. It’s the worst I’ve felt so far during my treatment and it’s definitely hard to determine how I will feel the next day or even later in the day. Making plans is a challenge. I have amazing friends who are amenable and will go with the flow in many ways, but sometimes there are instances where people don’t understand what it’s like. And I don’t want to be a bad friend but I’m trying to keep myself calm and relaxed so there’s no added stress.

I’ve been in and out of a deep depression. I’ll be getting my scans in about 5 weeks and I’m just so scared. A part if me wants treatment to never end so I don’t have to face the result.

I’ve been making plans and dreaming about this year and next year and all of the amazing things I want to do, see, and experience. I need this treatment to work.

🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

15/12/2022

Got my “warrior” sweater on as I make my way to my PET scan. This is definitely my least favorite scan to do. But it’s gotta be done. This scan will (officially) determine that my cancer is back. We don’t know if this was missed during surgery or if it grew in the last three months. And unfortunately our options a limited, but I learned recently I’m a candidate for immunotherapy! Which is amazing! I feel so grateful that I have another option outside of surgery. Praying my PET scan results aren’t that bad and the cancer continues to be localized. 🙏🏼 In whatever way you pray, please send them out tonight. ❤️ Picture with my favorite person swipe left and 💕 for my mama who was there but not pictured.

27/11/2022

This is my 31, and it looks nothing like the 31 I envisioned. I could never have imagined I would look or sound the way that I do. That I would’ve been diagnosed with cancer three times, cheated on by my high school sweetheart and husband, had three life altering surgeries and two life altering treatments. Nor have I ever been in the worst pain in or felt more depressed than I have in the last five and a half years.
🤍
But just as I didn’t envision my life going this direction, I never envisioned I would’ve finished my bachelors and masters degree or that I would be applying to grad schools to be a doctor of psychology.
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I could never have imagined that my ex-husband would do me the biggest favor and free me from him. Nor did I think I would ever find my soulmate, the one person who understands me, accepts me, and respects me.
🤍
I had plans for the past six years. I wanted to start a family, be a career woman, an athlete. Instead I was a patient, a divorcée.
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But then I became an advocate, a two-dog, dog mom, an avid reader, a master of psychology, a mentor, a wife.
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Life isn’t always what we think it should be. We don’t always get what we want the minute we want it or sometimes at all. But I have found it’s because the universe believes we deserve far more than we could ever imagine. All in good time.
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These photos were taken by in recognition of Beeast Cancer Awareness Month and for all patients who fight for their life back. This pack of powerful women were such an incredible delight to be around. I felt among friends even though we had just met.
🤍

12/11/2022

Taking a quick break today and tomorrow to tend to my mom who just had eye surgery. ❤️ She’s been there for me through everything and deserves to be taken care of too. 🥰

10/11/2022

I was recently featured in Healthy Women’s: Real Women, Real Stories and was able to share my story. I appreciate how this article highlights the length of time it took to become properly diagnosed on more than one occasion. ❤️ Since this article was written I underwent a third surgery. I had a resection of cancer on the right side of my face, then a free flap reconstruction using muscle, arteries, and vessels from my right thigh. My doctors are confident they removed all of the cancer and (hopefully 🙏🏼🤞🏼) my first post-op scan with reflect that. ❤️ If you’d like to read the article, it’s up on the Healthy Women website under Real Women, Real Stories; and mine should appear at the top or you can search using the title! ❤️

01/11/2022

Yesterday was the best day of my life. I would not change a single thing about the day. I am married to the love of my life, my best friend. I gained a sister and brother-in-law, and nieces-a beautiful family in their own right. And two more parents-whom are among some of the kindest human beings I’ve met. My life is happy and still and my cup is so full. And I couldn’t be more grateful that the universe has allowed me to witness this day.

01/11/2022

💍 This is the only picture I have from today but it’s the only one I need right this moment. There will be beautiful pictures coming, and we will be all dressed and done up. But this picture—this one’s special because it’s the last one we took unmarried. It’s our purest form of living. And from this point on, every picture will be with my husband, the man of my dreams. I will be living off the high of this day for a very long time. And now, as I lay beside my husband, all is quiet; just the crackling sounds of the heater and the smell of fresh mountain air fill the room. And now I will sleep, having had a beautiful day, and knowing there’s a bright future ahead. 💍

07/07/2022

July 2022 Health Update Part 2

07/07/2022

July 2022 Health Update Part 1

06/06/2022

I can’t wait to marry you. ❤️‍🔥 Halloween is right around the corner and marrying you will make my favorite day of the year even better. 🧡🖤 📸:

13/05/2022

The truth behind social security benefits, part 2…

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15/03/2023

15/12/2022

27/11/2022

12/11/2022

10/11/2022

01/11/2022

01/11/2022

07/07/2022

07/07/2022

06/06/2022

13/05/2022

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