09/15/2021
Shame tries to tell us that we are wrong, defective, or unacceptable.
Although they often accompany each other, shame is different from guilt. Guilt can be a helpful feeling, even if it is uncomfortable because it tells us when we have done something wrong, and we need to repent and repair.
Shame, on the other hand, pulls us away from relationship by telling us we aren't good enough. If we believe we are unacceptable to another person, we cannot remain close to them. Our natural response to feeling shame is to hide, disguise, or self-protect. When we feel shame we often withdraw from social groups; or we pretend to be whatever we think people want to see; or we put others down to try to make ourselves feel a little better.
Surprisingly, the antidote to shame is vulnerability. Shame cannot survive when we live out of the belief that we are fully seen (for all the good and the bad) and still loved and desired. This is where the good news of the Gospel brings such relief: there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1). No matter what guilt reminds you of, or shame whispers about you: You. Are. Loved.