Guiding Gates Doula

01/13/2026

I love it when mamas go into their ritual during labor!

Sometimes, that looks like circling the hips on a labor ball in a specific rhythm, maintaining deep eye contact during contractions, or tapping a finger. They do these things repetitively to keep focused and cope with contractions. And don't you dare interrupt her ritual!

They don't practice this ritual ahead of time, nor do they choose what it'll be. Their body simply calls them to do it.

But my favorite is verbal rituals. I had the honor of attending two births this week, and the moms were deeply immersed in the moment, repeating their special words. One was "open," and the other was "amen." A verbal ritual says so much about the laboring person. ❤️

Did you have a ritual during labor?

01/09/2026

Let's talk money!

Did you know many new parents don't hire a doula because they can't afford one? Yet, they easily create a baby registry of 100-130 items that can total up to $2,000! Now, I'm not saying you shouldn't get the diapers, the gear, or the cute clothes. But instead of getting the latest and the greatest, I suggest you keep a minimal list and use your savings toward a labor/postpartum doula and lactation specialist!

In the end, the things you've bought likely won't add much to your labor or postpartum experience as much as a doula or breastfeeding expert. Look for minimalist registries for ideas and encourage loved ones to show their support by pitching in towards a doula through Be Her Village.

https://simplelivingtoolkit.com/blog/the-minimalist-baby-registry

https://behervillage.com/

This blog is devoted to helping readers create a simpler, experience-over-stuff lifestyle. Minimalism (also intentional living or essentialism) can help us to live our chosen values in a world that makes it all too easy to focus entirely on consuming.Years ago, my house burned down, and I got an imp...

01/06/2026

Personally, I'm not a huge fan of at-home Dopplers. I know many moms use them because it helps them feel reassured. However, that reassurance can sometimes be false. If you're waiting for your baby's heartbeat to change to go to the hospital, you've already waited too long.

The best indicator of something being wrong is your baby's movement. It's highly encouraged that you become aware of how and when they move so that you can get help as soon as something changes. This app makes it easy for you to count the kicks!

Of course, if anything EVER feels off, regardless of the heartbeat and movement, go to the hospital.

The FREE Count the Kicks app helps expectant parents get to know their baby's normal movement patterns in the third trimester of pregnancy.

01/03/2026

Hot take alert!

To me, saying "natural hospital birth" seems a bit of an oxymoron since there are few natural processes taking place at hospitals. Standard hospital care includes bright lights, beeping machines, wires, limited nourishment, frequent interruptions, limited mobility, and various interventions. If you choose or need any of those, that's fine. This isn't about which type of birth is right or wrong. This is about the words you use.

If you end up not using pain medication, that's an 𝑢𝑛𝑚𝑒𝑑𝑖𝑐𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑏𝑖𝑟𝑡ℎ.

If you don't undergo any (or minimal) standard hospital procedures and your body freely flows through labor with full respect for what your body needs, to include no pain meds, that's called 𝑝ℎ𝑦𝑠𝑖𝑜𝑙𝑜𝑔𝑖𝑐𝑎𝑙 𝑙𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑟 or 𝑛𝑎𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑎𝑙 𝑙𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑟.

Where I think people get confused is thinking a 𝑣𝑎𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑎𝑙 𝑏𝑖𝑟𝑡ℎ is a natural birth. You can have ALL the meds and interventions and still have a vaginal birth, but it's not considered a natural birth.

Choose your words wisely, friends.

12/31/2025

There's a time and a place for an OB but the majority of pregnancies and births are uncomplicated and not "trouble."

Undo the thought that labor requires fixing. Challenge what you believe to be typical care. Begin to trust that you were made for this and go see a midwife!

12/26/2025

Make sure your doctor doesn't just say he supports a VBAC...ask what he ACTUALLY does to make it happen. Wishful thinking alone doesn't make for successful VBACs.

12/23/2025

What they don't tell you about labor are the quiet moments in between contractions when an expectant father places his head in his hands and quietly sobs. He is praying for her safety and for time to be swift so he can meet his baby girl. He is now realizing they are no longer a duo and that the young girl he once knew is becoming a mother right before his eyes. He is crying because he cannot take the pain away from the transformation.

Moments like these remind me how sacred birth is.

12/18/2025

As a military spouse, I move around a lot, but now that I've been in Hampton Roads for over three years, I can proudly say it's been my year of repeat clients! I'm not used to seeing things be planted and bloom in front of my eyes.

What a blessing it was to be called again to support women I've seen go from maidens to mothers. What a blessing that they have placed that kind of faith and trust in me. What a blessing that I continue to do this work with clients who see my value and fill my cup.

12/15/2025

Looks like I've leveled-up my placenta prints!💕

My client had a vision and I delivered. I hope this little memento reminds her of the incredible strength she showed to become a mother.

12/11/2025

Look at the cute little gift the nurses gave a newborn! 💕

Huge shout-out to the nurses and midwife at Riverside Medical for being the most patient and caring staff I've had the pleasure of working with in quite a while. Oh, and dad got to catch the baby!

Patience ✔️
Informed consent ✔️
Physiological approach ✔️
Kindness ✔️
Respect ✔️

12/07/2025

There is no "right" way of having a baby. Hospitals and medication can be empowering, so can vaginal, unmedicated, and planned C-sections. Feeling safe and successful come from being supported and making informed decisions.

A birth where YOU call the shots is the most beautiful experience!

12/04/2025

When I meet with my clients for their postpartum visit, I like to ask them what helped them during the experience. Here are a few answers: