12/18/2025
The bruising of my ego and my body from having no choice but to seek help from others is finally starting to sink in. (No pun intended as I begin to observe the trauma on my own arms from lines unable to be placed, as the EMTs transported me via ambulance at 50+ miles per hour to the hospital for cares). 🥹
Times when my breath was short, I was met with gentle, quick compassion - infused confidence and intentional autonomy for my cares .🥰
Yet I still bruised, I still wept, I still ached for my community to fill up that busy ambulance as it raced across the cities to rapidly confirm what we all feared - was I having a stroke? 😭😬🥺
It turns out after a very lengthy MRI and even longer CT Scan - I wasn’t having a stroke or a heart attack. It was “just a migraine.” A migraine that caused me to slur (my very sober) speech and droop half my face while attempting to communicate. My heart often pattering away with joy and hope was suddenly and intermittently experiencing tachycardia (racing too fast for my own good). 😱😢
And yet, I was cared for by the medical teams, EMTs, my dear friends and beloved family.🥺😊
In the end all of my symptoms were confirmed under an umbrella of a really terrible, no good, very bad migraine (and it was noted that I also had had an aneurysm at sometime in the past, through the date of when could not be confirmed, and care for it was noted to not be needed as it occurred more than 6 months ago - at a minimum). 🤔😅
So now I wait, I breathe and I see what the ripples of this traumatic experience will teach me - in addition to:
1. Life is meant to be lived in community and never alone.
2. Deep gratitude for my part time job at Ebenezer Senior Living that provides me incredibly affordable insurance.
3. Sleep is medicine and I’m still seeking the key to fully unlocking that door.
4. Life is too short to fear the future - so I hope, I dream, I breathe into its uncertainty with endless gratitude.
Wishing you each deep breaths and much ease.
With gratitude,
Kate
