03/16/2026
Men have learned a p**nographic style of relating, performative, speed, disconnection, and entitlement. Many of these men were trained by p**n and misogynistic cultural values and have chosen not to unlearn unhealthy behaviors and relearn the value of emotional connection. Emotionally immature men turn s*x into a transaction, and as a quick fix to “feel” connection without actually doing the hard work of being connected.
As long as they get “off,” then the s*x is good? Not a chance. Women feel used and know when they are being treated like an object, pair that with the lack of emotional connection, and the s*x is often terrible for them. Healthy women, who have spent years healing from objectification, purity culture, and patriarchy of our society, can feel that disconnection instantly and no longer want to be associated with their own annihilation. Healthy s*xuality isn’t about frequency; it’s about safety. If men can focus on the safety of their partner rather than just being selfish with their own pleasure, then couples can learn much more about what a healthy s*xual relationship is. A man rooted in his body, emotionally grounded, and kind is a wise adult. They have done the inner work to heal the wounded boy and address his adaptive adolescent parts. Often, the partners of these secure men are drawn to them rather than having to set further boundaries.
