08/26/2025
Who are you without your mask?
I remember when I first started making a genuine effort to tend to my needs. I’d been getting by on pervasive self-neglect for over a decade, struggling through chronic burnout, and I had ended up feeling absolutely hopeless. My suffering took me to a treatment center, where I was fortunate enough to have a good experience. Being there allowed me to truly recover from burnout for the first time in my life (seriously!) and start learning who I really was. As I got to know myself, I learned more about my needs. I started taking self-care seriously.
The self-care I’m talking about wasn’t face masks or sunshine and rainbows. It was learning to take my needs seriously. All of them. My needs for: food throughout the day (not just at arbitrary “meal times”), water, adequate sleep, joyful movement, sensory rest, human connection and social joy, engaging in special interests, and seeking accommodations to help make my experiences out in the world less draining and harmful.
I remember I had this moment of total overwhelm. I thought, “If I start trying to meet my needs, will I ever see the end of it??” I felt like a bottomless pit of need. 30 years of self-neglect will do that to you. Shifting out of neglect into radical self-care was alarming, scary, emotinal, overwhelming— and also, enormously gratifying and life-changing. In fact, it saved me.
Sometimes we have no idea what kind of joy is possible for us until we begin to give ourselves permission to suffer less.
Permission to have needs. To be dignified in our disabilities. To be our whole selves.
It took a lot of time, honesty, and courage for me to be able to accept myself for who I am and start living a life that suits me instead of constantly bending myself to conform to what I thought the world expected.
Does any of this sound like you?
Everything I described above was part of my unmasking process: Learning who I am + Accepting who I am + Taking action to care for myself (including using support and asking for help).
It was hard, but I did it—and I’m STILL doing it—with a lot of love and support.
Who are you under your mask? Does that question scare you? Does it excite you? Or fill you with curiosity? Maybe all the feelings at once?
If you want to gently explore, at your own pace, within community and with a skilled guide the answer to that question, I have a loving and supportive space waiting for you in my Unmasking 101 class.
Your true self is a treasure. I’d love to support you in unearthing it.
