She was Sunshine

She was Sunshine Raising awareness for those who smile through darkness. Founded in love in memory of Angie.

One year.I still look for her in sunsets, in sarcasm, in songs and movies she loved.  Something will happen and for a se...
11/11/2025

One year.

I still look for her in sunsets, in sarcasm, in songs and movies she loved. Something will happen and for a second I think, oh my gosh, I have to call her and tell her. Then I remember.
I’ll never stop missing her…..

My heart is still breaking. Our family is fractured. Her kids and grandson still ache for their mom and grandma. Her friends miss her desperately. She never understood how important and loved she was. How I wish this day last year never happened!

That’s the thing people don’t understand about su***de. It’s not a choice to have a brain and thoughts that lie to you. That tell you things will never get better, that you’re a burden, things are just too hard, those around you would be better off, etc. No one would choose those thoughts.

If you are having thoughts about hurting yourself. There are some things I would like for you to think about:
-When asked, su***de survivors (people who attempted and survived) said they immediately regretted the decision and were glad the attempt was unsuccessful.
-If your brain and body are dealing with stress and are in fight or flight it very difficult if not impossible for you to see a future without this burden. The brain literally shuts down the ability to see long-term possibilities.
-Your death would cause irreparable damage and would absolutely devastate those who care for you and love you.
-When someone is suicidal, the brain is chemically distorted — often because of:
• Sleep deprivation
• Stress overload
• Trauma
• Hormone imbalance
• Depression or anxiety
• Chronic pain
• Substance use

A hurting brain cannot measure your value.
The thoughts are symptoms — not truths.

If you’ve lost someone, say their name today. Tell a story about them. Keep their sunshine alive. ☀️

The ripple of grief.The morning after losing Angie and for several mornings after, I woke up crying in my sleep. My emot...
11/10/2025

The ripple of grief.

The morning after losing Angie and for several mornings after, I woke up crying in my sleep. My emotions flucuated between despair and panic/anxiety and fear. I was terrified that someone else I loved would die too. My body physically hurt. I was having panic attacks and was sad, broken and angry. I spent weeks checking on my family while they slept, afraid they wouldn’t be breathing when I found them.

Trauma rewires safety — it tells your body and brain the world isn’t safe anymore. The brain is also trying to protect you by imagining the next worst thing that could happen so this time you’re prepared.

As the weeks and months went on I heard comments and a few people said some hurtful things which showed they had zero understanding of people who are at risk and the circumstances surrounding su***de attempts. I hope su***de never affects them or their families and they come to better understand depression and su***de. If we are going to help we have to get rid of the stigma and start talking.

To anyone living in that fear — your nervous system can learn peace again. Slowly, gently, one breath at a time.



Affirmations for Those Thinking About Su***de

Gentle hope for those struggling.

🌤️ You are not a burden.
🌤️ You deserve to rest, not to disappear.
🌤️ There is a version of you in the future grateful that you stayed.
🌤️ You are loved more deeply than your pain can measure.

Please reach out — 988. Text, call, whisper — but stay

***deprevention .

11/07/2025

If you are struggling please know your brain is lying to you.

People care about you and love you. They would not be better without you. You matter.

Many people have these thoughts and it’s simply a sign that your brain needs treatment… no different than a broken arm needing a cast or an illness needing medication/treatment. Help is out there. You just have to ask.

Angie had no idea how her death would impact everyone. She had no idea that a year later the devastation would be as fresh as it was a year ago. If she only would have known how loved she was.

Her brain was telling her she couldn’t do it anymore. She was tired and felt like a burden.

The Day Everything Changed

The moment I heard, time stopped. I just screamed and needed to do something to fix it but there wasn’t anything to do.
Then came the hardest part — calling family, hearing the sounds of hearts breaking over the phone. Watching my dad drop to his knees crying out to God in the middle of his yard.
Nothing prepares you for that.
If you’ve ever made those calls or lived that moment — I see you. It’s a kind of pain words can’t describe.
If you’re thinking about taking your own life please know that you are irreplaceable and there are people who love you that would move mountains to help you and keep you here.

***de ***deAwareness matter

11/06/2025

I imagine Angie’s last week — smiling on the outside while her heart whispered she couldn’t hold on much longer.
People can seem “fine” and even happy while quietly fighting battles we can’t see.
Please, if you’re in that place — pause. Reach out. The world needs your story unfinished.

Below is a prayer for anyone that needs it…..

God, I am tired and scared, but I know You are with me.
You are my refuge and my strength — a present help in trouble.

When fear grips me, You do not turn away.
You hold me through every shaking breath.

This pain is not permanent.
These dark thoughts are not the truth of who I am.
I am Your child — loved, chosen, and protected.

Even when my mind tells me there’s no way forward,
Your light is already shining on the path ahead.

I will not harm myself, because my life is sacred.
You gave me this breath for a reason,
and even in confusion, I choose to keep breathing.

You are bigger than this battle, this anxiety, and this fear.
You will guide me through it, one step at a time…. One day at a time.

I release control and cling to You instead.
I invite peace into my heart, even if it feels far away.

I am safe in Your presence.
I am surrounded by angels, comfort, and grace.

My purpose is not finished.
My story is still unfolding, and You are writing it with love.

I choose life.
I choose faith over fear, peace over panic, hope over despair.
God, thank You for carrying me tonight and every day forward.

📞 988 Su***de & Crisis Lifeline — text or call anytime. You are not alone.

This next week is the one year mark.This time last year, in 6 days, she will take her own life.  Who could look at these...
11/05/2025

This next week is the one year mark.

This time last year, in 6 days, she will take her own life. Who could look at these photos and predict what would happen? The truth is…. Depression and suicidal ideation also looks like this.
I think this is part of the reason why su***de is so misunderstood. I hope with this page we can talk about the hard things with gentle honesty, understanding and compassion and learn about the misconceptions and the reality of depression and su***de.

It’s difficult not to think about what we or anyone could have done or said to stop this from happening. Replaying the days and weeks before she thought it was more than she could bare. It’s easy to sit in the sadness, regret, guilt and pain. It takes intention and effort to be grateful for the time we had and remember the good stuff…. there was a lot of good stuff❤️

Who she was before the pain.

She was laughter that filled the room. She was clever, witty, fun and sarcastic! She remembered funny movie lines from decades ago. She made ordinary family get-togethers so much more fun with her energy and sarcasm! She was definitely the fun sister!

As I move through these days, I want to share pieces of her story — not how she left, but how she lived. The next week of posts will hopefully help those who have lost loved ones and those who are still here fighting the thoughts and hopelessness.

If you’ve lost someone, may you remember the light they left behind.

***deAwareness

🌻 Hormones, Mood, and Mental Health in Midlife 🌻Perimenopause and menopause are not just about hot flashes and night swe...
09/29/2025

🌻 Hormones, Mood, and Mental Health in Midlife 🌻

Perimenopause and menopause are not just about hot flashes and night sweats. Shifts in estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone can deeply affect brain chemistry, influencing serotonin, dopamine, and other mood-regulating pathways.

For many women, these changes can bring on new or worsening depression, anxiety, and—sometimes—thoughts of su***de. This isn’t weakness. It isn’t “just stress.” It’s your biology calling for attention.

💛 Why it matters:
• Women in midlife face the highest su***de rates of any female age group.
• Hormone changes can intensify feelings of hopelessness, fatigue, or emotional disconnection.
• Recognizing this link can save lives.

✨ The message: If you or someone you love is struggling during this transition, know this—it’s not all in your head, and you are not alone. Medical support, hormone evaluation, therapy, and community can make a life-changing difference.

🌞 At She Was Sunshine, we believe conversations like this break stigma and shine light into dark places. Sharing this truth could help a woman feel seen, understood, and empowered to reach out for help.

💬 Let’s keep talking. Let’s keep shining. Someone’s tomorrow may depend on it.

Su***de Prevention Resources☎️ 988 Su***de & Crisis LifelineCall or text: 988Chat: 988lifeline.orgFree, 24/7 confidentia...
07/29/2025

Su***de Prevention Resources

☎️ 988 Su***de & Crisis Lifeline

Call or text: 988
Chat: 988lifeline.org
Free, 24/7 confidential support for people in distress, and resources for loved ones and professionals.

📱 Crisis Text Line

Text: HOME to 741741
24/7 support via text with trained crisis counselors.
Website: crisistextline.org

🧠 National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI)

HelpLine: 1-800-950-NAMI (6264)
Website: nami.org
Offers education, support, and advocacy for individuals and families.

💛 The Trevor Project (LGBTQ+ Youth)

Call: 1-866-488-7386
Text: START to 678678
Chat: thetrevorproject.org
24/7 crisis and su***de prevention support for LGBTQ+ youth.

💬 Veterans Crisis Line

Call: 988 and press 1
Text: 838255
Website: veteranscrisisline.net
Support for veterans and their families.

🧡 AFSP (American Foundation for Su***de Prevention)

Website: afsp.org
Education, community support, and events like “Out of the Darkness” walks.



🌍 Other Helpful Directories and Resources
• To Write Love on Her Arms (TWLOHA):
twloha.com/find-help – Offers a directory for counseling and support.
• Mental Health America (MHA):
mhanational.org – Provides screenings and access to local mental health resources.

🌻 Welcome to She Was Sunshine ☀️She was laughter. She was light. She was sunshine…And she was struggling in ways no one ...
07/29/2025

🌻 Welcome to She Was Sunshine ☀️

She was laughter. She was light. She was sunshine…
And she was struggling in ways no one could see.

My sister Angie lit up every room she walked into. She was always smiling and cracking jokes and her presence made life better. But in November 2024, we lost her to su***de.

This page was born from that heartbreak—and from the deep belief that we must start talking about the unseen pain too many people carry.

💛 She Was Sunshine is a space for:
▪️ Real stories about real people
▪️ Raising awareness that su***de doesn’t always “look” the way we expect
▪️ Education, healing, and hope
▪️ Honoring those we’ve lost and protecting those still with us

This is not just a project. It’s a movement of love. A legacy. And a lifeline.

You are not alone. And together, we can bring the sunshine back into places that feel impossibly dark.

Please follow along, share this page, and help us change the narrative. 🌤

With all my heart,
—Keri

***deAwareness

Address

Highland, IL
62249

Telephone

+16186516303

Website

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