12/06/2020
So, today was a difficult day.
The past 3 years have been about saving Ryan's life at all costs. Unfortunately, the cost has been his mobility. (Please know that we are thankful for his life and health. We know that things could be so much worse, but we want to share his story and progress. Ryan does not want pity or sympathy. He really could do without any attention at this point, but we know his story may help someone else or just keep our distant and close loved ones up to date.)
Ryan has improved so much! He is self sufficient. He is learning to drive, he can cook, take care of himself, be a stand out student, fun friend, and earned his letter his freshman year, singing, but...he still struggles. He is on swim team, but is unable to do most of the dryland workout. A day at the zoo or the museum? No. It is too much walking. He is not weak or tired, but his foot/ankle begin to fail him. Waterpark? Disney? Hiking? A day at the beach? A wheelchair is needed. Not the entire time, but he can't make the journey without it. (Put yourself in his place, he will be 16 in 2 months. What would you be doing or want to be doing?)
Today Ryan had an appointment with the physical medicine doctor. She explores neurology, orthopedics, physical therapy, etc. Ryan's hope from this appointment was a solution and something to work toward. Neither of those hopes were met.
Suggestions included keeping both braces pictured and adding an additional brace. (To Ryan, this is a step backward.) Also, she suggested a nerve stimulus device and showed him a video demonstrating the success of it. Unfortunately, this video (and on other occasions as well) Ryan was presented with a video of someone who has multiple handicaps, (usually a toddler). Never is he shown a video of a person that looks like him or has a life like him. They show victory of the treatment with people clapping that the girl can go down a slide by herself or a toddler "running" with her friends. We would never want to discount the success of the girl in the video. She is doing amazing things, but today this made Ryan cry.
Ryan cries in anger. He cries out of loss. To save his life, sacrifices were made.
He has been referred to orthopedics, which the physical medicine doctor said would probably recommend the same protocol.
He is beyond frustrated, so in the afternoon we cooked. We made Chinese Char Siu Bao for the first time. Ryan is always the best chef.
Please pray for his blood counts to stay normal, his nerves to grow back, for a path to heal his disabilities, and for peace and happiness for his mind and spirit.