Integrative Wellness Consulting

03/18/2023

In continuing the topic of luck, here is an article posted by Psychology Today:

Five principles for making the most of life's twists and turns.

03/17/2023

In observation of St. Patricks Day, here is a fun write up on mental health and the power of a good luck charm from Australian and New Zealand Mental Health Association: https://anzmh.asn.au/blog/power-of-good-luck-charm .

Whether you’ve had a good luck charm for years or considering it for the first time, here’s how it could have a positive effect on your mental health.

03/12/2023

01/03/2022

The Toxic Combination of Being Enough and Needing to Diet

As we have been approaching this new year, the media messages to diet are everywhere. I do not know about your social media feed, but I can tell you that mine has been full of these messages. I have spent the past two years making tweaks to who/what I follow. I have stopped following or muted some accounts. I have been diligent to add/follow content that is positive to all bodies and adds diversity to my feed. Despite all my efforts, I have still seen messages telling me that right around the corner of the new year awaits the perfect time to start shrinking my body through some exercise regimen, diet, or potion.

In the same space, I am also seeing posts and messages reminding me that I am "enough." Unfortunately, it can even be observed in the feeds of those trying to sell us on some body-shrinking gimmick to help us obtain that smaller body that will make us "okay" in this thin obsessed culture. The mixing of these messages is so damaging to our personal body image. I often discuss this with clients. I urge them to take the time to clean out their feed and consider how this is playing a role in how they see themselves.

I feel that having these two messages being sent to us simultaneously is damaging our self-esteem (including body image, relationships with food and movement) even more than having the push for these ridiculous diets, pills, or drinks thrown our way on their own. It is seeping into our core and causing us to question our worth based on our body shape and size. If we all ate and moved the same everyday, we would still not all look the same. Bodies are shaped differently. Bodies crease, fold, and dimple in different places. Muscle accumulates and distributes differently despite day after day of the same training routine.

We have been conditioned to believe that reality should not play out this way. We have been led to believe that health equals the thin, sculpted, white ideal body shape. At the same time, we are rightly being told that we are enough and we do not have to kill ourselves to provide some outward perfection of ...(fill in your blank). Through the learning of self-love and acceptance, many are realizing the best version of their parenthood, house keeping, work production, or spiritual life does not come with some level of "perfection." Still, this message is struggling to gain momentum in the "health" space.

If you are constantly focused on shrinking your body, you cannot experience your own "enough-ness." They just cannot coexist in the same space. How can you be your own version of enough while trying to shrink yourself? How are these messages influencing how you care for yourself? In the space of weight loss, you will be encouraged to ignore your body signals. You will perhaps be told to ignore the signal of hunger or pain from overtraining. You will be encouraged to eat on a schedule made by someone else and not by the messages sent by your own body. You will be forced to eat foods and/or quantities of foods that result in being unsatisfying to you. Living out these decisions day after day may seem like a triumph, however it could be damaging to your self-acceptance. We can think of ourselves as failures, if we are not able to reach these unnecessary ideals. We might move into patterns of disordered movement or eating as we try to force ourselves to keep rules and ward off body changes of any kind.

In the "wellness" space, I would love everyone to understand that they are enough. No drink or plan is going to make them smaller long-term and the harm of these plans is that they disconnect us from our bodies. They push a message that we are not enough until we are our smallest selves. They tell the people living in a marginalized body that they will never be enough because their efforts to force their body to take on the "ideal" shape did not manifest appropriately. They harm the very hard work of finding one's self-acceptance and love.

As hard as it is to believe, you will not find "wellness" from your social media. You will not get to a space of true self-acceptance from the feeds of friends or celebrities. If you truly need some guidance in this area, I would recommend a non-diet dietitian to help with food and movement goals. When cultivating true change in movement and eating, we need to move away from focus on weight change to find non-scale change. If you need assistance in cultivating a practice of self-care and acceptance, a therapist might be useful. Find what you need. Learn to steer yourself away from the toxicity of "wellness" and "diet" culture.

02/14/2021

Happy Valentine’s Day! We hope that the start of your week is a great one.

We are doing something a little different. We have decided to use the next few months to work on a special project. We will continue to post content that we find to be helpful/useful, funny, inspiring or simply meaningful (at least to us). The posts just won’t be structured per themes as they have been during the previous years. However, feel free to reach out to us if there is something you are particularly interested in seeing or if you have a question (or two). Continue to stay safe, healthy, intentional and true to you.

01/31/2021

This month Dr. Garces-Webb and I have explored the idea of being allowed (having permission). We applied this permission to exploring the ideas of being, planning, healing, and consenting. Ultimately, I feel that our exploration focused around language. The words we use, even with ourselves, can have a huge impact on outcome. As you approach a change, it may be beneficial to provide yourself with language that can be the most impactful....

https://integrativewellnessconsulting.wordpress.com/2021/01/31/allowed-to-experience-flexible-language/

This month Dr. Garces-Webb and I have explored the idea of being allowed (having permission). We applied this permission to exploring the ideas of being, planning, healing, and consenting. Ultimate…

01/31/2021

Allowed to experience flexible language

This month Dr. Garces-Webb and I have explored the idea of being allowed (having permission). We applied this permission to exploring the ideas of being, planning, healing, and consenting. Ultimately, I feel that our exploration focused around language. The words we use, even with ourselves, can have a huge impact on outcome.

As you approach a change, it may be beneficial to provide yourself with language that can be the most impactful. I can offer you some simple guidance: offer yourself language with flexibility. Consider taking the time to pull back from an idea and provide yourself with an adjustable goal. This may aid in working through the real-life barriers that pop up.

Possible structure: I will _______(fill in the blank) for ___ (specify an amount) ___to___ times per week (provide yourself with a range for frequency) for ___ weeks (pick a number less than 12).

Whatever you are working on goes into the first blank. Maybe this is some form of movement, eating vegetables, drinking water, or some other habit you are trying to create within your daily routines. Next, determine how long or how much you need/want that is more than your current practice. For example, if you are working on decreasing your coffee consumption, maybe your action is to gradually decrease cups of coffee throughout the day and your initial starting point is to drink 3 cups instead of 4. Then, set a flexible range (number of times or days) you could start working towards. Continuing with the coffee example, maybe you are going to drink 3 cups of coffee 3-5 days each week. Finally, set a number of weeks for your goal. This helps build the habit and sets a time for checking in with yourself to 1) see if you are moving to your intended goal and 2) sets up a time for reevaluation and setting of the next goal. If it is helpful, consider setting a calendar reminder to reexamine and set new goals that are specific.

This should sound familiar as it is SMART goal setting, which we have written about previously. There are other ways to bring in flexible language, but I offer this structure as a simple way to get started. Often, we set up a rigid intention for ourselves.

Examples (rigid and/or vague): I will run 5 times per week. I will drink a gallon of water daily. I will stop drinking all coffee beverages. The list could go on.

Through rigid intention, we may be robbing ourselves of the change we desire. By offering ourselves some flexibility on attaining our goals, we may find greater success in both the process and the arrival at the goal.

Examples (flexible): I will walk-jog in intervals for 20-30 minutes 3-4 times per week for 4 weeks. I will drink 3, 20 ounce water bottles 4-6 days per week for 6 weeks. I will enjoy a tasty coffee beverage when dining out on Saturdays for 4 weeks.

As we approach change with a more malleable definition, we might feel more able to start on a goal. For me, when I set goals like the latter, I feel more able to start. When I set goals like the former, I feel a trigger of internal pushback. Language is important, even with ourselves. We hope you are using kind, loving, and flexible language with yourself. It could be just what is needed these days as we try to realise goals that fit within a number of life's current restrictions.

01/24/2021

Undergrad. Ice skating class. The professor just finished the introduction; I am excited to begin learning how to skate. I’m at a school well-known for an athlete who had won a medal for his dance skills on the ice. Maybe I would learn a thing a two. But first, I needed to check for clarity regarding the dress code. I stood in disbelief as the teacher said that I could not take her class if I did not wear pants....

https://integrativewellnessconsulting.wordpress.com/2021/01/24/allowed-to-be/

Undergrad.  Ice skating class.  The professor just finished the introduction; I am excited to begin learning how to skate.  I’m at a school well-known for an athlete w…

01/24/2021

Allowed to Be…

Undergrad. Ice skating class. The professor just finished the introduction; I am excited to begin learning how to skate. I’m at a school well-known for an athlete who had won a medal for his dance skills on the ice. Maybe I would learn a thing a two. But first, I needed to check for clarity regarding the dress code. I stood in disbelief as the teacher said that I could not take her class if I did not wear pants. I did not know enough to push against an arbitrary rule that conflicted with my religious conviction. I was naïve, sheltered, which was the reason I had opted to go away to college in the first place. Lessons were going to come at me quick. I did not stay off the ice though. I went back, not as part of a class, but with friends. I learned to move on my own, not dance, but move nonetheless. I had fun despite that professor telling me I couldn’t. Not just on the ice but also while riding horses, obstacle racing, 4-wheeling, hiking, swimming, skydiving, hitting the mission field, and so much more over the years…dressed per my convictions, being me.

Fast forward.

Grad school, master’s program applying for the doctorate track. “’They’ did not want to let you in.” I did not know who “they” were but “they” apparently were trying to overlook the fact that I had gotten all As thus far in my master courses, was assisting in running a research lab, had As in the courses I took prior to applying for graduate school, and came into the academic world with work experience in scientific research. I was told that those who knew me were behind me, but those who didn’t were questioning what I could bring to the table and how I would fare. I got in, continued to help run the lab, obtained a grant to fund my research, maintained all As, served in student leadership positions, assisted with research projects, co-published articles, and created study guides for myself that were circulated among the students long after I graduated. A year into the doctorate program, I had a meeting with one of the professors. He shared that he had initially recommended that I not be accepted in the program based on my undergraduate performance. I don’t know if he was the ‘’they’’ I was told about, but he acknowledged that he had pegged me wrong.

My track record helped legitimize me academically and professionally but did not prevent other experiences. I recall being told that it would be “easier” to award me a minority award if I were more Spanish. I also was once told, “I know people with your background need to be in control.” My thoughts raced. “People with my background? What?! Which one would that be? Those who grew up with limited finances? Those who were Hispanic?” It seemed as if there were many corners that held either demands to be someone else or unspoken challenges to prove that someone’s notions, perceptions, biases were unfounded and inaccurate.

It was work just to “be”…and not just in the aforementioned areas but also in my romantic preferences, my spirituality, my balance as a professional and a parent…life.

Maybe, just maybe, this is the way you have felt or are currently feeling. Maybe you feel as if you are working hard just to be who you are while trying to challenge misconceptions or biases. Maybe you are swimming upstream while it appears that everyone else is swimming down. Maybe you are battling seemingly unique obstacles that others cannot understand or that others appear to be blatantly turning a blind eye towards. Whatever the case…you can continue to “be.” Be that person who holds on to those values, that dream, that conviction, that hope. Be that person who continues to strive for what you feel is right while not disregarding, demeaning, undermining the emotions, values, experiences of others. Be…and let others see what being can become.

01/17/2021

One thing 2020 taught me was that I can certainly plan, but my plan may not happen. Just typing the word plan is a bit triggering for my post-2020, currently still in lockdown, self. While the past year has been fraught with challenges, I still find myself aching to move forward. With the challenges fresh in my mind, I also find myself open to planning with a little more flexibility than I have had in the past....

https://integrativewellnessconsulting.wordpress.com/2021/01/17/allowed-to-plan/

One thing 2020 taught me was that I can certainly plan, but my plan may not happen. Just typing the word plan is a bit triggering for my post-2020, currently still in lockdown, self. While the past…

01/17/2021

Allowed to plan

One thing 2020 taught me was that I can certainly plan, but my plan may not happen. Just typing the word plan is a bit triggering for my post-2020, currently still in lockdown, self. While the past year has been fraught with challenges, I still find myself aching to move forward. With the challenges fresh in my mind, I also find myself open to planning with a little more flexibility than I have had in the past. I feel like this might be just what one needs right now. Let's apply the idea of being "allowed to plan" to our food, as this is what this dietitian enjoys writing about the most!

For many, the start of the new year carries the pressure to lose weight. Our society is focused on thinness as the beauty ideal. Often the weight loss is presented in the form of a diet of eat "this" not "that". Diet culture, in all it's sneakiness, also grabs hold of the anti-diet culture lingo twisting and turning it into a bastardized version of what once was a healthy alternative. I am ashamed to say that I too have fallen into being one such pusher of the contaminated version of healthy eating. One concept that has been through the wringer of diet culture is the idea of the "meal plan." (AKA meal planning)

Let's break it down a bit. Sure, plan can mean a detailed proposal for doing or achieving something, and with such definition it may feel rigid as you approach planning for a particular task. However, it can also mean an intention or decision about what one is going to do. A meal is simply the food one will eat at occasions throughout the day. By applying some flexibility to our definition of "meal planning," we can move forward by setting intention for what we eat at these occasions. This intention can be flexible as the variety of scenarios approach us daily.

This does not have to mean that you are preparing all of your food for the week, placing it into tiny containers to eat from all week. This may not need to have counting of anything involved at all (see note). Planning what you will eat could be incorporated into a mindful or attuned approach to eating. There are many scenarios that might be navigated with less stress in the moment if you are planning what you will eat, but the opposite is also true. There can be very real stress and disordered eating when following a rigid plan that does not allow for change if the situation dictates. For example, if you work in a "food desert" of sorts with nothing available, planning and bringing food to work could be a tool to allow you to not starve while you are working. If the rules of your meal plan mean you cannot have the doughnut/cookie/cake for a coworker's birthday, that can be a sign that you need to look for another way to plan.

You are allowed to plan, if it makes sense to you. If the extent of your planning is take something from the freezer and place it in the fridge in the morning to make dinner preparation later easier, that is absolutely OKAY. If you want to make your lunch ahead of time, so you can grab it in the morning, that is OKAY. If it makes sense to you and/or your family to prepare food on the weekend to have available throughout the week, that is OKAY. It is OKAY to plan meals without any intention of weight loss. It is always OKAY to look at what others might be doing with their planning and say..."nope, not for me."

Perhaps, planning is something you are wanting to do more with this year. Maybe this planning has to do with your food, but maybe it is something else entirely. As you consider how to build intention into something you are going to do, consider what really makes sense for you. You are allowed to explore what planning means for you! As always, we welcome comments and would be happy to explore with you this idea of allowing yourself to plan.

Note: When determining whether to count something, maybe consider talking with a registered dietitian or another qualified health professional. It is important to understand that personal trainers, some health-care workers, and even some "nutritionists" are not trained to assist in dealing with certain dietary issues. Consider finding a professional that will help you approach your eating with gentleness and flexibility. A red flag could be that they are giving you recommendations that fall outside of the Dietary Guidelines for Americans or some other basic framework. When choosing those that will help you reach your goals, I would suggest looking for those who understand their scope of practice and who are willing to treat you in collaboration with the professionals who will help you holistically. Even within the world of dietetics, you could pursue help from someone who fits you best. There are dietitians that focus on nutrition through other lenses such as Health at Every Size, Intuitive Eating, or Anti-diet.

01/14/2021

If you have not read Dr. Garces-Webb’s piece on healing, you should. If you have and feel you need to heal your relationship with food or movement, I would encourage you to consider these in your pursuit of that healing.

01/10/2021

Allowed to Heal.

We have a tendency to slap labels on things which is, in part, an effort to make sense of the world around us. Sometimes those labels work. Other times, those labels are just incorrect or no longer apply. I recently was talking with a colleague regarding the roles that people are expected to play. Like labels, the assigned roles sometimes work out. However, there are times when the role becomes a detriment to the person to whom that role was assigned. There are many scenarios we can imagine here. An easy one is one in which someone feels obligated to continue to act or play out his/her life in a way that benefits others versus him/herself. It may be that the individual was once identified as helpless, unwell, traumatized, or “damaged” in some way. Over time, the continued fulfillment of that role became the expectation, despite that individual’s wishes, his/her attempts to heal, and efforts to change the trajectory of his/her story.

You just might be able to think of someone who is currently living this scenario. Or, this scenario may be one that is all too real for you. You may be the one trying to move from a projected narrative that does not fit who you are. It may be that finding your voice and making your own choices throws off the balance of the mini-universe of which you are a part. At least that is the message you feel is being conveyed to you. Not only are you being told your efforts to heal are causing further rifts, it may very well feel that way to you. This is not necessarily a hard stop.

Change does not always mean that things will roll out smoothly and with glitz. Sometimes, our efforts to heal can cause a sense of imbalance in others because they have become accustomed to the current circumstances, may be benefiting from it, or are afraid of what the change will mean. Their fear and resistance does not mean that you should not allow yourself the permission and the space to move in the direction of healing. All of our journeys are different, as are the speed to which we make those journeys. This is especially true in the context of healing, whether it is healing from physical or mental injuries, relational wounds, financial bruises, or otherwise. For some, there comes a point where a choice needs to be made between experiencing the pain associated with healing or the pain of staying where you are. Regardless of the type of healing that is needed, it is okay to ( 1 ) give yourself the permission to heal and take your time in deciding what you need, ( 2 ) redefine “You” in the process and refuse to stay in a mold others may have created, ( 3 ) independently journey down your path for healing or journey with the aid or company of others, ( 4 ) identify what you No Longer Need as you move forward, ( 5 ) change your mind along the way, and ( 6 ) not carry guilt when healing begins to occur for you but not others. Ultimately, it is more than okay to allow yourself the time and space needed for healing as well as access to healthy doses of grace along the way (for yourself primarily although don’t be surprised if you have to sprinkle a dose or two on others).

01/10/2021

We have a tendency to slap labels on things which is, in part, an effort to make sense of the world around us. Sometimes those labels work. Other times, those labels are just incorrect or no longer apply. I recently was talking with a colleague regarding the roles that people are expected to play. Like labels, the assigned roles sometimes work out....

https://integrativewellnessconsulting.wordpress.com/2021/01/10/allowed-to-heal/

We have a tendency to slap labels on things which is, in part, an effort to make sense of the world around us.  Sometimes those labels work.  Other times, those labels are just …

01/02/2021

Allowed...an anti-resolution, pro-growth series

As we embark on this New Year and new month, we want to address the elephant in the room. There might be that nagging feeling that you should be making a list of resolutions to get the year started right. We thought we would take some time to explore the idea of change (it is one of our favorite explorations) and how you might do this with or without your resolutions because you are, in fact, allowed to NOT set resolutions. We are going to consider change through thoughts and attitudes. While this could be formed into a resolution of sorts, it may be best to explore some ideas without the push of a resolution. By definition, resolutions are firm ideas fuelled by determination. When they are not met with complete success, we are left feeling defeated. It is with this in mind, that we hope to approach the idea of change and specifically giving ourselves permission with a bit of flexibility and grace. This month we are going to explore the concept of being "allowed." This could be uncomfortable to work through and as such may be approached slowly, with flexibility, and with much forgiveness throughout the process.

First up is the idea of being allowed to consent or give permission. Did you know that you are allowed to consent...to everything. I would like you to consider areas that you might not be taking the opportunity to consent/give permission to a process. Maybe this is with your primary care provider (PCM) and their idea of a medication regimen for you. Maybe this consent is with yourself and what movement really needs to look/feel like for you. The concept of consent may need to be applied to your internal or external relationships.

You are allowed to consider what consent looks like for you in all areas. This allows you to take ownership in the process. Let's walk through an example as it might play out in a client-dietitian scenario.

Let's say you have been referred to a dietitian due to having high blood pressure (AKA hypertension). Hopefully, this was a pleasant experience filled with your PCM telling you that you can consent to the best treatment plan for you and that one option is to look for some things to improve your blood pressure before trying a medication. Unfortunately, that may not have been the case. You may feel as if your PCM may have even damaged you here by saying that you will NEED to lose weight in order to help your blood pressure or that medication is the only way to move forward or...some other absolute that really does not need to be there, but is common in medical scenarios, whether intentional or not.

Alright, let's say you made it through that interaction and have landed with a dietitian (something you are allowed to consent to) and are beginning the conversation to make a positive impact on your blood pressure. You have the controllable (food choices, movement, management of stress, smoking, and sleep) factors and uncontrollable factors such as your family history/genetics/ethnic background, the fact that you are aging, and other health issues/medications. These uncontrollable factors may require our acceptance, but they are not where our energy needs to be placed as they are truly out of our control. Like a menu at a restaurant, I would hope that your dietitian would present you with the list of controllable factors and ALLOW you to move in the direction of your choosing. This is for YOU to decide, to take on the responsibility, and to collect information on the task ahead. You are allowed to consent to this treatment! It is a choice and as such must be your choice!

By taking ownership of your choice, you are consenting to your action or in-action and allowing it to have an impact on the outcome. It is OKAY to take it slow! If you were my client, I, honestly, would not recommend tackling that list of controllables all at once. Maybe you choose to quit smoking first. This may come at the cost of gaining a few pounds and feeling a little stressed. After you have quit smoking, you might then choose to add in some movement. After gradually increasing your movement, you might decide to change your sleep or eating routine.

I think sometimes we are missing out on connecting the dots to our consent being a choice and how that choice influences other choices in the process. I think that, for all kinds of reasons, we might be neglecting to take ownership and accept our issues and, thus, disconnect from our role. Whatever the THING is, it is yours and you are allowed to consent on how to work through/with it. Avoiding it, might be costing you that consent.

01/02/2021

As we embark on this New Year and new month, we want to address the elephant in the room. There might be that nagging feeling that you should be making a list of resolutions to get the year started right. We thought we would take some time to explore the idea of change (it is one of our favourite explorations) and how you might do this with or without your resolutions because you are, in fact, allowed to NOT set resolutions....

https://integrativewellnessconsulting.wordpress.com/2021/01/02/allowed-an-anti-resolution-pro-growth-series/

As we embark on this New Year and new month, we want to address the elephant in the room. There might be that nagging feeling that you should be making a list of resolutions to get the year started…