03/20/2026
π¨ BREAKING NEWS π¨
After an extremely rigorous selection process (aka showing up, working hard, and being mildly delightful), Jen Rice has officially been named Employee of the Month π
Criteria included:
βοΈ Outstanding skill
βοΈ Magical hands
βοΈ Ability to fix peopleβs problems without fixing their life choices
βοΈ Surviving back-to-back clients without turning into a puddle
When asked how she feels about this prestigious honor, Jen stated:
βIβd like to thank coffee, my clients, and my stubborn refusal to quit.β
In celebration of this achievement, Jen will be accepting:
β’ High fives
β’ Extra tips π
β’ And continued admiration
Appointments are limited because greatness requires rest. Book wisely. πββοΈ