09/17/2024
Update on Mudd, rt now it's up n down, he has his good days and his bad days, and all day n night he's up n down with good moments n bad moments...and a good day is when he can get out of bed and walk to a tree in the back yard with me and we spend about 20 minutes together taking in the world and holding hands...he can go to town n go to one store but it takes so much out of him that he's down in bed for a few days afterwards...a bad day to him, he can't breath or get comfortable and having panic attacks...I can't imagine how he feels, I know he's scared, so I keep watching all night with a pot of coffee in me so he can sleep knowing I am rt there if something happens bc he's scared to go to sleep...I'm kind of mad at the world rt now bc we should of had more time together...I feel like we have been jipped out of our life together...we won't be able to grow old together...won't have all the time newly wed people have...he's still young and we should of had at least 15, 20 years left ..I've looked up everything possible on the Internet to fix him, looked into every vitamin, every group, but there is no turning back heart failure, ...it sucks, it's hard, it's scary, it's frustrating, it's sad...and there's nothing I can do about it ...rt now he is on hospice care, so we have a nurse come over every other day, and the focus rt now is his comfort...his feet are swollen, he's tired all the time, has panic attacks, and can't breath at all ..all ur prayers and support rt now are appreciated, thank you
