Home Therapy

Home Therapy Helping create a sense of home within by designing spaces that inspire, nurture & soothe.

Here’s our booth!  See something you can’t live without?  Contact Ruckersville Gallery to purchase!
06/09/2024

Here’s our booth! See something you can’t live without? Contact Ruckersville Gallery to purchase!

How it started vs. how it’s going.We decided to start an antique re-sale business!  Our booth is up and running at Rucke...
05/28/2024

How it started vs. how it’s going.

We decided to start an antique re-sale business! Our booth is up and running at Ruckersville Gallery in Ruckersville, VA. While we were setting up, a lovely customer came by and decided she couldn’t live without the Stanley MCM dining set. So, on our first day in business, we made a big sale! Thank you, Hippie Clicks!

We’ll restock tomorrow with a Johnson Carper MCM bedroom set.

We’re really excited to get started on this new venture in our new home state!

Let's get back to some design, shall we?  I've been wanting to wallpaper an accent wall in our guest bedroom for some ti...
01/31/2024

Let's get back to some design, shall we? I've been wanting to wallpaper an accent wall in our guest bedroom for some time & finally got around to creating & ordering samples from . Their paper is fully customizable
& easy to work with, once you get the hang of it! ;) My hubby said he doesn't want to be anywhere near our house when I hang this paper, but I know this'll be a much easier process because it's be my third attempt papering. I initially wanted a large scale design, but once I got that sample, it was just a bit too large, so I made two more, one mod, one deco & my love of geometry & order wins, we're going with the deco paper in the middle. The great part about customizing your own paper & being ordering samples is that you're not stuck with an expensive mistake. If a color doesn't coordinate well or the scale isn't quite right, you can go back & make adjustments before you commit. These samples are only $6 each & came in less than a week. The rest of the room is getting some upgrades in addition to the wallpaper: new dresser, which is a 1960's Drexel Declaration tallboy I found on Marketplace, a new chair that I've yet to procure, a Drexel Declaration side table with cane shelf for beside the chair, & we're swapping the nightstands for a pair of Drexel Declaration end tables I found in 2019. They're in our cabin, but we're playing musical tables & moving two other sets to make this work. The best upgrade, besides the wallpaper, & possibly my best Marketplace find yet, is a 1960's Paul McCobb caned headboard, with the label still intact. I can't wait to show the final product, but it'll likely take a few months until I decide on a chair style, get all the tables shuffled, hubby gets the dresser refinished, & I get to install the wallpaper. So, stay tuned!

It’s been months since my last post.  Why?  Burnout, health scare, loss, more loss, more burnout, another health scare, ...
12/29/2023

It’s been months since my last post. Why? Burnout, health scare, loss, more loss, more burnout, another health scare, loss, more loss, and most of all, grief.

The last six months have been some of my worst. We lost our 19 year old cat, Felina, then 19 days later, our beloved Golden Retriever, Zoey, from brain cancer. July was devastating. December saw the major losses of my Grandfather figure, Uncle Bill, and my Mother-in-Law, Peggy.

I don’t think there has been a day since July 2nd without grief present in some capacity. I’ve been trying my best to allow it in, invite it for tea, and show me what it needs me to see. While that may seem strange, it’s also helped me survive. Pretending that these losses don’t hurt only prolongs the pain and allows it to show up as anger, resentment, frustration, fear, or something else. Being curious about my grief allows it to exist when it needs to and allows me to keep living, working, loving, eating, and moving through the motions of life. By the time December rolled in, I was even ready to welcome in a new friend, a cat. If I hadn’t welcomed in my grief, I don’t know if that would’ve been possible.

I-lean, the three-legged cow kitty is no sassy old Fealina-Bean. But I don’t want her to be—I want Bean to live on in my memories as the bitchy, demanding, loud, old, cranky lap cat that she was. She was the best. I-lean is demanding in her own right, but in a much quieter way. She also loves a lap, which is very nice, especially in the winter.

It’s good to be back here. I hope the last six months have been kinder to you than they’ve been to my family, but if they haven’t, I hope you’re managing your own pain as well as you can by allowing it in. Give yourself the gift of feeling it so you can move through the waves as they show themselves and trust that you have what it takes to make it through this.

May 2024 be kinder and gentler to us all. ❤️

A general question I get often in therapy: Why do I keep finding myself in the same pattern?Humans are creatures of habi...
05/04/2023

A general question I get often in therapy: Why do I keep finding myself in the same pattern?

Humans are creatures of habit; we default to what we know, especially when stressed. Our conditioning starts before we can consciously remember & our brain adapts to the external world to meet our basic needs. This is not a conscious choice, but it comes from a need to survive--an unconscious drive.

An example: A colicky baby cries often to signal distress. This is it’s only means of communication, but it leaves caregivers (let’s say parents) stressed. Mom & Dad start out rushing in every time baby cries, rocking baby until calm, talking soothingly. After days, weeks, or months of a crying baby, parents lose their resiliency & stop rushing in, cries are met with frustration, sometimes parents fight over whose turn it is to deal with the crying baby, or they leave baby to cry it out. Baby’s subconscious brain starts flooding with stress hormones to help it survive because it could mean life or death if parents don’t meet its needs: if nobody comes to baby’s aide, maybe nobody will come & feed it when it cries for food. Baby quickly learns to adapt by either crying harder, signaling to parents that something is really wrong, prompting them to act differently, not crying at all, or learning to cry in different ways to signal different types of issues. A baby’s subconscious brain is helping to keep the species alive by learning these adaptations.

The pattern issue arises when later in life we default to these early life adaptations. That’s where we fall into the same behavior cycles or relationship patterns. A baby who cries louder may have adopted the fight response, one who stops crying may adopt freeze, & one who changes their cries may adopt fawning or appeasement. These show up in later relationships. How? If you’ve ever heard of people falling for their mother or father, it’s not because of Freudian theory, it’s because we’re attracted to those old relationship dynamics. I believe we adopt them because our bodies gravitate towards known patterns; we’ve successfully navigated them in the past & even if they feel uncomfortable, we’ve stayed alive, which is the body’s primary goal.

It’s important to recognize that we can break these cycles. Notice where you’re repeating patterns. Observe yourself neutrally & monitor your self-talk; the more you talk through the situation internally with neutrality, the less your body will respond with a fight, freeze, or appeasement reaction. With a fully developed adult brain, you have the power to break the cycle.

Let's talk about the difference between a lack of motivation & issues with task initiation.If you're not motivated, you ...
04/05/2023

Let's talk about the difference between a lack of motivation & issues with task initiation.

If you're not motivated, you likely don't want to do something. If you want to do something but can't seem to make yourself get started, then you have an issue with task initiation.

You may want to do something so badly it hurts but you can't muster the willpower to get started & then wonder what you're doing wrong. This is not a willpower issue, it's rooted in the way you're speaking to yourself about it. I'll use myself as an example.

I hate to clean my house. I put it off for too long because I'm busy during the week and often travel on the weekend. When I decide it's finally cleaning day, it's usually because I've been seeing how utterly gross the place has gotten, how much dog hair is on the furniture, under the furniture, & on every surface imaginable. By this point, I've also been hard on myself for several weeks for not keeping up with dog hair, mail on the table, or other general household tasks, so when I see the amount of work in front of me & calculate the number of hours it will take to complete, I shut down. Or rather, my body shuts me down.

This is not a conscious choice. The human body is skillful at protecting us from things it identifies as dangerous. In this example, I've been talking negatively about how gross my house is, how bad I am at keeping up with it, etc., & my brain has been taking this in on a subconscious level. When I decide it's time to finally tackle this job & start to get overwhelmed by it, my brain and body step in & say, "nope, how about we just make you play dead instead & put you in freeze mode?" This is a stress reaction & is designed to keep me away from the thing that my body fears will be harmful to me, based on my negative thoughts about it.

So, what do if you can't get started? First, take some deep breaths to pull yourself out of the stress reaction cycle, & then ask yourself why you may be feeling a need to avoid that task? In my case, it's usually because I'm tired.

With curiosity, you'll likely find the answer is fairly simple. It just takes practice & self-compassion.

Here is the rental information for our condo.  It’s freshly listed and ready for your summer fun!
03/08/2023

Here is the rental information for our condo. It’s freshly listed and ready for your summer fun!

Ahhhhh, Chincoteague Island - the smell of Salt Marsh in the air - the visions of our Wild Ponies wandering through the Refuge. Once you visit our beautiful Island, it stays with you forever. But life is so busy - it's hard to get away for a whole week every year, isn't it? Or maybe you're one who p

This project has been ongoing since last summer and we just finished the last touches today. The last two photos are the...
02/26/2023

This project has been ongoing since last summer and we just finished the last touches today. The last two photos are the befores.

This is the small area under our basement stairs we now call “The Dog Room.”

When we moved in, I was excited that our dog crates fit neatly in the space. We’d started stacking them to save some space during COVID lockdown when we were living with my in-laws. Our smaller dog slept in the top crate and we referred to it as “Nellie’s Penthouse.” When we moved into this house, the dogs were used to doing this, and this space was perfect for continuing.

Fast forward two years and I saw a space under a stair case transformed into a dog room in a Facebook group I belong to and I thought, “I could do that.” So I started daydreaming, talked to Paul, he started thinking about how he’d make the door, and I started shopping, collecting, and painting.

The Dog Room has a gallery wall because, as you can tell by my other projects, I love gallery walls! And they have a wall of family photos so they can see us when we’re not with them. Both dogs have separation anxiety and I like to think this might help. There are also photos of their grandparents, who they love spending time visiting, their human brothers, and feline sister.

They also have a dog couch, which can be purchased in human scale (I restrained myself on this one), a pup rug (good looking faux fur orthopedic dog bed disguised as a rug), a live edge side table I made, a hanging light fixture with caned shade, also created by moi, some throw pillows (both dogs love to lay on pillows; I know, so spoiled!), and a ceramic golden retreiver and weiner dog, to represent both the Dog Room residents.

The coolest feature, however, is the stained glass transom window created by the incredibly talented Keystone Glass Works. We installed it today and we couldn’t be happier with how it finishes this adorable little space.

This is probably the coolest room in the house!

As promised, here are the before & after photos from our Chincoteague condo renovation.  Befores are either the top or l...
02/24/2023

As promised, here are the before & after photos from our Chincoteague condo renovation. Befores are either the top or left photo, afters are on the bottom or on the right.
This was a fun & relatively quick project as far as renos go, but it wasn’t without its quirks and setbacks. We learned a lot, enjoyed the island at least a little every time we traveled down for a work trip, and most of all, we transformed an outdated space into a relaxing getaway we’ll enjoy for years to come. We’re very happy with this finished product and I’ll share the rental info when it becomes available.
We’ll soon have another new endeavor to announce. It’s not exactly new, but an extension of an established project that we’re taking a bigger role in. When one project ends, another always begins!

I can't believe I haven't posted anything here in over a month!  The holidays were busy & we spent lots of time working ...
01/27/2023

I can't believe I haven't posted anything here in over a month! The holidays were busy & we spent lots of time working on the condo. I wanted to post a bit of a teaser before I post more about the completed project in a few weeks, so this small taste of the kitchen will have to do.

We got the counters installed last week & Paul helped me with the tiling last weekend. We've used this tile in three kitchens now; in our house it's a border, at the cabin it's the full backsplash, & at the condo it's the full backsplash as well. Subway tile is timeless & this color is like denim; it'll never go out of style. It's such an easy tile to work with because it comes in 12x12 sheets & there are no beveled edges so grouting is easy, for the most part. The corner in the condo's kitchen is a particular challenge because it's about three feet deep & there is no good way to reach it unless you lay yourself across the sink & stretch, mooning whoever is behind you through the entirety of the process. I'm told my husband enjoyed this but I did not find it fun or comfortable in the least bit & by Sunday when I was trying to finish the gymnastic grouting in the corner, the string of obscenities I strung could've probably wrapped the globe several times.

The picture is not the corner in question, it's the opposite side of the kitchen. :) But I'm sure you can imagine both my contorted body and the angry obscenity-hurling without seeing a picture of the act.

If you have to grout in a tight or awkward space, make sure nobody is home & that your neighbors are wearing ear plugs so you can cuss as much as you need. Trust me on this one, it helps the process. If someone is home, make sure they can handle foul language. You've been warned. Grouting is not child-ear appropriate.

I'll be posting all of the before & after shots of the condo reno in a few weeks when we're back there. Can't wait to share it with you all!

Address

Johnstown, PA

Website

Alerts

Be the first to know and let us send you an email when Home Therapy posts news and promotions. Your email address will not be used for any other purpose, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

Contact The Practice

Send a message to Home Therapy:

Share