06/03/2021
OUT OF THE SHADOWS
2020 is in the rearview mirror and as a whole I imagine we all hope it stays there! It has been nice to get out once again to travel and get to see some lifelong friends of mine. On a recent trip, I was able to attend a team meeting face to face with others on the team - for the first time in over a year. Like many of you, I had been doing these meetings via Zoom. It felt good to be “in person” again. The thick, dark, fog of 2020 and the effects of Covid-19 is beginning to lift and we can all begin to make our way out of the shadows.
Many are left feeling they are in the darkness and are kind of “stuck” in the quagmire of it’s gloom. As we dialogued at our team meeting the other day, we talked about the long term ramifications to this Global crisis we have been wading through. One of my fellow team members from World Renewal, Rachael Ferguson, exclaimed, “We need healthy ways to lament and move forward.” That is such a true and thoughtful statement.
Lament means - a passionate expression of grief or sorrow. It is to mourn, to grieve, to be sad over the loss. There are healthy ways to lament and unhealthy ways to lament. Unhealthy ways are attempts to not feel the pain. Attempting to drown the pain with alcohol abuse or covering it with drug abuse never really work and in the end those attempts just end up destroying people not pain. Even though the mask mandates are subsiding across our country, there are those who wear mask of pretending, denial, and hiding behind personas in order to try to cope with the daily demands of society. However, when they go home, they do as the writer Henry David Thoreau proclaims, “Most men lead lives of quiet desperation”.
To lament in a healthy ways, we must recognize the loss and be honest with ourselves about the pain experienced. Pain, obviously isn’t comfortable, but it can be our friend. Ask a l***r or someone with diabetes that cannot feel their feet. To not feel pain is to cause further damage.This is true physically and also mentally. In this way, pain is intended as a friendly signal to inform us that something is going on that needs to be addressed. Sorry for the crassness but, only dead people feel no pain. Pain tells us we are alive and our feelings matter and they are important to pay attention to, both physically and mentally.
It is not evil or shameful to be in pain. However, it is important to deal with pain in healthy ways, so as to not cause more damage or destroy people. We need an honest assessment of what has caused the pain, but we also need to lament it in healthy ways. We take inventory of the losses and we need to consider our response to those losses. The wise King Solomon stated, “The prudent give though to their ways.” Giving thought can be assessing the loss, but also taking the time to ask ourselves these questions; What am I feeling? How do I respond to these feelings? What are healthy ways to lament and move forward? What would it take for me to move forward? What would a healthy response be? What would I do (in healthy ways) if I weren’t afraid?
Having an open-eyed assessment of what we’ve been through, allowing ourselves to recognize and humbly accept the losses, and then give ourselves permission to move forward, are all critical components to good mental health.
I want to remind you that hope is on the horizon. The darkness is giving way to the light, come out of the shadows and live!
Peace, Wes
