12/03/2025
They say the best way to earn respect is to give respect, and that’s the case with teenagers as well.
But respect does not mean we let our teens do whatever they want. In fact, it’s the opposite.
Rules and boundaries are an essential part of any society, and an important part of any relationship. They provide guidance for acceptable behavior and teach us how to coexist with others. While children, and particularly teens, may fight the idea, they actually thrive in situations where the rules are clear.
However, house rules for teens look different from those for young children. As they move closer to adulthood, teenagers need to learn how to make good decisions on their own. This means we need to learn to let them make these decisions, for good or bad, themselves. These years in between childhood and adulthood offer an opportunity to teach them how to adult (via microdoses of independence) while we are still considered an authority in their lives. In effect, we are allowing them to make some grown-up decisions—with a safety net.
Be Safe and Be Respectful: 9 House Rules for Teens
Your approach to setting house rules may look different from your neighbors, or even to that of your siblings. What works for one family may not for another, and it’s likely that the rules will need to be revisited and changed over time.
Some families find that a family meeting helps establish house rules that work for everyone, as well as the consequences of breaking them. This might even mean putting them in writing and posting them. Your family’s rules will be uniquely yours, but there are some things that (no matter what they tell you) most of your teens’ friends’ parents will also insist on. Here are nine household rules that will help your teens grow into kind, responsible adults.
1. Be where you say you will be, and provide an update if that changes.
Curfews are still appropriate for high school-age teens, though as they approach college, you might want to start allowing them some leeway or flexibility. But that doesn’t necessarily mean they come and go at will. It’s perfectly reasonable to ask them to keep you updated. If, for some reason, they will be late, they must call or text to let you know so you don’t worry.
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