21/10/2025
Peace and Pace
It’s been a minute. One daughter’s college graduation, another daughter’s high school graduation. A summer with no daughters home. Now, one daughter starting adulting in Chicago, and two in college, both out of state. This leaves me with a whole world of new. New excitements for them, new challenges for me, and many new emotions, not all of them understood.
This past May I went into a panic. I sprinted into trying to answer the question swirling in my head, “What am I going to do?” I started planning events, retreats, trying to solicit new clients….flown nest was looming and I was freaking out saying “Oh my GOD I have to figure this out! Dear Lord help me!”
I was hurried and harried and horrible, until a dear friend put her hand on mine and asked, “WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?”
“Kristy,” she said. “You need to mourn this change, feel this change.”
My eyes filled with tears. She was right. Absolutely one hundred percent right. And I realized that so often in my life when there has been hurt, or pain or change, I have tried to fill it, to fix it. Instead of FEEL IT. Instead of go through it.
I have a pillow in my office that says “Never go faster than your Guardian Angel can fly,” and I was. I was like a hypersonic jet.
So, I stopped. I changed my pace. I cancelled the event I had scheduled. I decided to take a break from seeing clients, and instead decided to see ME. I spent the summer making time for myself, preparing for change, feeling, and breathing. And yes, crying.
Change no matter what, it is hard. So hard. But I am finding that doing it at my own pace is incredibly helpful. I have found that most often the only deadlines I have are the ones I have created for myself. No one told me, “Hurry the kids are leaving! Get more clients! Plan more events!” I did that. I created that pressure. And when I let it go, swoosh, so much peace.
I don’t have any answers yet. I have managed to avoid flown nest fairly well so far with the gift of travel. I have been to Bermuda with my husband, to two college family weekends, helped our oldest find and move into her own apartment, spent a long weekend in the mountains, and most recently traveled to my dancer daughter’s big show. But now, I am home for a bit and facing ME.
What about me? What opportunities will I take during this time with more freedom, albeit not necessarily wanted? What things will I do that I haven’t been able to do for a while? What do I want? And it dawns upon me; How rare is it as mothers that we get to ask this question? How rare is it that I get to put myself first (even though I may not truly want to)? When was the last time it was time for ME?
And while I am still figuring out what is next for ME, I am enjoying the pace. The discovery. The process. And as I’m avoiding flown nest, I’ve told myself that’s ok too, because for right now this is the perfect, peaceful pace for me.
No deadline. No pressure. Just one day at a time.
Some days are harder than others. Some days I get mad at myself for not getting more done. Not having more answers. Some days I walk into one of my daughter’s bedrooms and just lose it. Some days I am numb. But instead of pushing those emotions away, I am letting myself feel them. I cry. Or I go for a jog. Or I write. Or I reach out to one of my best friends who is going through the exact same thing. I am acknowledging, and feeling, and accepting.
Other days, I am busy all day. I am brainstorming, or with friends, or planning my next trip. And I am feeling the joy too.
The blessing is that each day is a new day. Each day I get to choose my peace, my pace, my process. And I know that it’s ok to not have a plan right now.
So dear clients and friends, I thank you for supporting this peace and this pace. I am not sure what my next steps will be, but I’m excited to find out, and as I do, I will share them here and on Instagram.
And in the meantime, I hope each of you are enjoying each day peacefully, with the perfect pace for you.
Blessings,
Kristy Sands
