Divorce and Grief Recovery

04/29/2026

Celebration of life for Jim Herron. He and Sande will be buried together in the military cemetery in Riverside. Love and miss them both!

04/20/2026

Well said

That first year, you’re mostly numb.
You’re doing what needs to be done.
Holidays. Paperwork. Phone calls.
Figuring out how to sleep. Remembering to eat.

You move through it one hard day at a time.
Checking things off because that’s the only way forward.
You tell yourself that once you get through all the firsts,
maybe the pain will finally ease up.

Then the second year shows up.
And the shock wears off.

You’re not running on adrenaline anymore.
There’s no crisis mode to hide behind.
The truth settles in:
this isn’t temporary.
This is your life now.

By then, everyone else has moved on.
They think you have too.
They don’t realize this is when it really starts to sink in.

The calls slow down.
The check-ins fade.
And you begin to understand just how isolating grief can be.

At some point, it becomes obvious—
life didn’t pause with you.
People are making plans, laughing, moving forward.
And you’re standing there trying to figure out where you fit now.

Nothing feels the same, no matter how hard you try to force it.

And eventually, you stop waiting to feel like your old self again.
You stop looking for the version of you that existed before the loss.

You start learning how to live as who you are now.

This is the after.
After the shock.
After the support.
After the world expects you to be “okay.”

Written by: Aimee Suyko - In Their Footsteps

This space keeps going because of the people who choose to support it. If something here has helped you, you can subscribe and be part of keeping it here for others too. I’m grateful either way. 💗
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04/16/2026

Yes!

Getting sober is not just about putting the drink down.

It is about looking at what has been sitting underneath it all along.

The anger you carried.
The fear you avoided.
The resentment you held onto.
The hatred that slowly built up over time.

Alcohol numbed it. It did not remove it.

Sobriety asks you to face it. Understand it. Let it go.

That is where the real change happens.

If you are finding that the drink has gone but the weight is still there, that is the work. And you do not have to do it on your own.

Send me a message if this resonates.

04/02/2026

My precious son Justin turned 50 today. He has spent every birthday in heaven. He certainly has a host of loved ones there. I know he would be proud of his brother and his nephew namesake. He would love his sister-in-law and I hope he’s proud of his mom. Today Justin needed to be in school. Jeff played golf alone and the rest of us joined him for miniature golf and dinner. As always, it was beautiful and bittersweet.  I wish he could’ve stayed longer, and I am very proud that I got to be Justin’s mom.

03/21/2026

Jim Kok’s funeral is today at 1:30 at Shepherds Grove in Irvine. If you are not able to attend, you can watch live stream to celebrate this amazing man of God.

If you are not able to attend in person, you can join the Livestream on Saturday at 1:30: sgp.church/eventstreams

03/10/2026

I am asking for prayers. We are having an online prayer circle. My love to everyone who reads this. Let's pray for one another today because prayers are needed right now. If I don't see your name, I'll understand. I ask my friends to kindly post this status for one hour, to whisper a prayer for all those who have family problems, health struggles, or worries of any kind and just need to know that someone cares. Do it for all of us, because nobody is immune. I hope to see this on the walls of my family and friends just for moral support. I did it for someone else, and you can too!. Copied and posted to my wall.
Done! 🙏
Never underestimate the power of intercessory prayer.
Thank you all!

02/18/2026

Our beloved pastor Jim Kok is now in the loving arms of the Jesus he served so faithfully .

Jim headed the Care Ministry at Crystal Cathedral. DGR was a TINY part of his amazing ministry. We were blessed by his example, teaching, love and support. More recently he served as Pastor Emeritus for Becomers at Shepherd's Grove.
Please pray for his wife Linda and their four children that they will feel God's comfort and peace...knowing that Heaven has received this beautiful soul with the same care and love he helped us learn how to share. We are blessed recepients of his ministry and wisdom.

01/15/2026

If today feels heavy, you’re not alone.
Someone is glad you exist. ♥️
📞 988 Su***de & Crisis Lifeline (U.S.)

Supportive Grounding Strategies for Depression & Regulation of our Nervous System:

Even one of these is enough:

• Take a shower (hot or cold; just let the water run)

• Apply lotion and change into clean, comfy clothes

• Drink cold water (ice, lemon, or mint if helpful)

• Do one small task (a few dishes, one drawer, a load of laundry)

• Listen to music: move, hum, or simply listen

• Prepare a simple meal (or your favorite meal)

• Create something: write, draw, color, build, or craft

• Step outside or take a short walk. Gently orient your senses: notice 8 things you can hear, 8 you can see, smell, or feel, at your own pace.

• Rearrange furniture in a room: small environmental changes can help shift stuck thought patterns.

• Connect with another person: call, text, or listen to a friendly voice

• Spend time with a pet, touch and connection matter

SOMEONE IS ALWAYS LISTENING

These may seem small, but small regulated actions can interrupt isolation, reduce stress, and save lives.

💛 Your worth does not disappear because you’re struggling.

You matter exactly as you are!

If you feel unsafe or overwhelmed, help is available:
📞 988 Su***de & Crisis Lifeline

If you’re able, please copy and repost or send this to someone.

01/12/2026

Clever analogy! And so true

Grief is like glitter.

The moment your world shatters, it’s as if someone threw it into the air — and it rained down over everything. It settles into your skin, your hair, the deepest cracks of your life.

You try to sweep it up, desperate to feel in control of something. You think you’ve cleared it away… until it shows up again. Months later. Years later. In the corner of a picture frame you dust every week. On the sleeve of a sweater you’ve worn a dozen times without noticing it was there. Stuck to the floor where the light hits just right and suddenly it’s undeniable again.

You’ll never get it all. It will always be there — this glitter of grief, catching the light in both beautiful and brutal ways.
Written by: Aimee Suyko - In Their Footsteps

12/24/2025

Christmas is sometimes a difficult holiday when we are grieving the loss a loved one. Let me encourage you, if you are having a difficult time this Christmas, to remember the reason we celebrate: the birth of the one who knows us best and loves us the most. Let me also encourage you to reach out if you need help.

“Love life enough to struggle.” -Olga

12/13/2025

Today we celebrated our veterans with Wreaths Across America. Before the end of the day, every military grave will have a wreath.  It is a class act, and I am proud to have been able to personally place Milt‘s wreath.

11/30/2025

The holidays can be almost impossible during times of grief...but help is available! Here are some pointers for getting through them:
https://youtu.be/_6jyJztapSM?si=C6srd_-AxVR11wYf

You Will Survive!

It would be nice if we could duck our life crisis: pull a blanket over our heads, close our eyes, and let it pass us by. It would be nice is we could wave a ...