Jen's Journey to A Healthier Woman

07/20/2025

Yep. Learning about my kids has opened my eyes about myself.

07/20/2025

I am too much of a nerd and this post proved it 🤣🤣🤣

07/14/2025

TobyMac, NF · This Is Not A Test · Song · 2015

07/14/2025

FLAME, NF · Royal Flush · Song · 2013

07/12/2025

😍😍😍😍

Sometimes AI is awesome at helping you visualize your goals ...

07/11/2025

Postpartum depression and anxiety are brutal and they rob you of the joy that motherhood can give you. I know all too well the pain, guilt and shame that come with this crap. There is darkness that you can't find your way out of and you are ashamed that you're there. Thank God for those people who don't make you feel dirty and ashamed and tell you, hey... This isn't something that should be happening. Let's talk to someone...

I did not like my children when this photo was taken.
I actually resented them for existing.
Kaiden was 17 months old and Chloe 1 month, and I didn't want to be their mother.

I didn't want to change their diapers, feed them, and most of the time - I wanted to leave them in their cribs and run out the door, never to return.

I'm serious.

I know that some of your jaws are hanging open, and some of you are probably disgusted thinking, "How the hell can someone dislike their own children?". I know, its effed up, which is why it took me so long to tell anybody about it.

I remained silent and buried my thoughts. I smiled for photos and mustered false admiration when someone would fawn over them.
I cried often, most of the day actually. I questioned my sanity and constantly berated myself for being such a terrible person. I screamed, I hid, I let them cry and pulled my hair out. I didn't want them anymore. I didn't want them.
My husband didn't know. He was gone a lot, working. I couldn't tell him, he'd regret having children with me. I was alone.

One day I decided I wasn't going to get them out of their cribs. I was going to leave them there, let them cry and soil themselves. I didn't care. I couldn't care. I tried to care. I COULDN'T care.

Instead I called my doctors office. The moment my favorite receptionist answered I broke down in tears. I told her I didn't want to be a mom anymore and she told me to "Come in IMMEDIATELY". I did. The doctor spoke to me about Post Partum Depression as if he'd had this conversation thousands of times.

Turns out he had. Turns out I was one of MILLIONS of women experiencing those feelings at that exact moment. I wasn't crazy. Something was wrong with my brain. Something I couldn't fix alone.

My doctor and I fixed it together.

My kids are 4 & 6 now, and I love and adore them so much that my heart physically aches when I think of them. I would give my life for them without blinking.
Reaching out for help was the greatest gift I have ever given them as a mother.
If any of this sounds familiar to you, I just wanted you to know -- you aren't alone. You aren't crazy -- and it doesn't have to be this way. Tell someone. Tell someone TODAY. It gets better

07/11/2025

The last 8 months or so have been very difficult. I have gained so much of the weight back. Stress, bad eating habits, no real method or schedule, emotional eating, eating because for convenience and comfort. My HS is flared so bad it's out of control. I had to go to the urgent care today and get cut open again because I was in so much pain. That is three times in 6 months. Today I broke everything down again and am starting from scratch. By my calculations, with my current weight and activity level I need to eat 3,400-3,800 calories a day for regular maintenance. I also need to primarily stick to a Mediterranean diet, as that is the best option for people with severe HS. So I will start off this run of things with a couple of keys changes.

1. Calorie deficit
You need to consume 500-1,000 calories a day less than maintenance level to drop weight. So I will aim for 2,400-2,800 calories a day, broken up over time between two more substantial meals and snacks.

2. Little to no processed foods and drastically cut out simple carbs
Both of these flare up HS and increase inflammation in the body.

3. Food prep
I have created a diet that involves very little work for food prep because for me, convenience is key. I need to be able to grab and go for work and that is my biggest downfall with my weight management.

4. Supplements
There are several vitamins and minerals that aid in controlling HS flares that also help with healthy weight management.

5. Scheduling
I will be setting alarms to eat main meals by and sticking to a very rigid schedule for those. There will be options for snacks that are free reign as long as I pre-portion or they are free calorie foods (foods that cost enough energy to digest that they cancel our the calories in them)

6. FIBER!!!!
I will be concentrating on fiber intake so my body will get the maximum benefits from what I fuel it with. You also feel fuller for longer when you consider your fiber intake.

7. H2O 💧💧💧
Drinking enough water is vital for proper digestion and it helps you to feel fuller.

I do not have the means to be in therapy right now, the co pays are just too much. So that part of the wellness journey is on hold for now so I'm hoping I have the tools to be able to keep myself on track while I get back on it.

Hoping to have some rapid progress coming up soon 🤞Let's see if I can do this again.

06/03/2025

My baby isn't a baby anymore 🥺😭

Caspar Babypants · Winter Party! · Song · 2016