09/18/2020
One look at their expression, and you realize that telling someone who is obviously upset to calm down isn’t exactly what they want to hear. In fact, you may have just thrown a little fuel on their already-roaring fire. “Calm down? Calm down? Don’t tell me to calm down!” they practically yell.
Even though your intentions came from a helpful place, you’ve learned the hard way that telling someone to calm down when they are pretty upset usually fuels the fire.
Some things you could say or do instead: 👇
Show You’re Listening When someone is that upset or in that much pain during a bad day, what they really want is to be heard. Let them know you’re there for them and really listen to them. Empathize, let them know you understand and share their pain. Offer to help or ask if there is anything you can do for them. Breathing techniques have been proven to help dissipate stress and restore calm to our bodies. After they’ve vented, say, “Let’s take three deep breaths together.”
The point is to offer to work with them to get over the bad-day stress and let them know you care.
