Outside the Box Psychotherapy

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Outside the Box Psychotherapy Individual telehealth therapy for adolescents & adults. Licensed in LA, AR, FL, & TX.

15/04/2025

detine / define

⸻

Yes, I saw the typo. Eventually.
Yes, it was in the middle of a post about identity, shame, and emotional safety.
Yes, it said “detine” instead of “define.”
And no, I’m not taking it down.

Because here’s the thing:

I meant every word in that post.
Even the one that wasn’t spelled “right.”

And maybe… that’s the point?

⸻

Some of us were called too much, too weird, too sensitive, too broken—
So we grew up thinking we had to get everything perfect to be worth anything.

But the truth is:

You’re not defined—or detined—by your mistakes.

You’re not disqualified from love, safety, or becoming
because you slipped up in public or got something “wrong.”

So the typo stays.
Because so do I.
And so do you.

Messy. Becoming. Holy anyway.

⸻

If my typo helped you feel seen, you’re welcome.
If it made you feel superior, congrats on your nervous system regulation.
And if you didn’t notice at all?
You’re probably the exact kind of person I wrote it for.

Attachment style isn’t a personality flaw.It’s a nervous system love language. 💔🧠🪀Before we call our coping styles ‘toxi...
13/04/2025

Attachment style isn’t a personality flaw.
It’s a nervous system love language. 💔🧠🪀

Before we call our coping styles ‘toxic,’ let’s remember—they were our first language.

Sometimes healing looks like standing in the metaphorical mirror thinking:
“Wow. So that’s the bitch who learned to over-apologize, overanalyze, and call it love.”
Yeah. Been there.

But first—can we be honest about what this really is?

You are not “too needy.”
You are not “too cold.”
You are not “too complicated.”
You’re carrying strategies that kept you alive.
And those strategies deserve compassion—not correction.

⸻

Anxious attachment?

It’s not clingy.
It’s “I will now become emotionally clairvoyant so I don’t get abandoned again” energy.

And why?
Because your nervous system is preparing.
You’ve chased because silence meant punishment, and distance felt like death.
You overfunction.
You scan texts like threats.
You take the blame before anyone else can—because at least then, you’re in control of the fallout.
Somewhere along the line, you learned love had to be earned.
🫶📱🔍

⸻

Avoidant attachment?

That’s the “I didn’t ghost you—I’m just prioritizing my peace while ignoring anything vulnerable” energy.

You don’t ghost—you evaporate.
Because intimacy feels like a trap, and autonomy is your last line of defense.

You feel everything—but your body learned to shut it down before anyone could get close.

And why?
Because your nervous system chose distance when safety and connection never showed up together.
You stayed guarded before anyone had the chance to let you down.
You want closeness—but only if you don’t have to ask for it.
That’s your nervous system being cautious.
🦊📦🚪

⸻

Disorganized attachment?

Y’all are the real ones.

You want to be held—and also disappear into the woods.
You text “I love you” and then throw your phone into the ocean.
You learned love and fear in the same breath, and your body still can’t tell them apart.

And why?
Because love was both a lifeline and a threat.
Your body craves intimacy and braces against it at the same time.
You don’t trust anyone—but still hope someone might be different.
That’s not chaos—it’s strategy with trust issues.
That’s your nervous system coding for survival.
⚡️🚨💨

⸻

Secure-ish?

You still spiral—but now you know you’re spiraling.
You still rehearse conversations that haven’t happened—then respond with one sentence and a boundary.

You catch the pattern mid-play.
You breathe through it instead of becoming it.
You don’t abandon yourself—but you still screenshot the text and send it to three people just to make sure.

And why?
Because you’re learning that safety doesn’t mean silence.
That regulation doesn’t mean detachment.
That peace doesn’t mean people-pleasing in prettier fonts.
That’s what healing actually looks like.
🧘‍♀️📱💅

⸻

Here’s the real truth:

Healing your attachment style doesn’t mean you never spiral.
It means you spiral with awareness, text your group chat instead of your ex, and set a boundary even while sweating.

You stop ghosting yourself.
You catch the pattern.
You breathe. You stay.

Not forever.
Just long enough to remember: safety isn’t perfection—it’s presence.

And showing up for yourself is the most securely attached thing you can do.

Your attachment style isn’t a flaw.
It’s a survival language.
A nervous system blueprint.
A love story that didn’t get to finish safely.

It’s messy.
It’s sacred.
It’s regulated-enough.

One unhinged breath at a time.
🦱📉🪰


-... .- -.. .- ... ... .-- .- .-. .-. .. --- .-.To the kid who got called “ugly” or “dumb” this week—I hope someone told...
13/04/2025

-... .- -.. .- ... ... .-- .- .-. .-. .. --- .-.

To the kid who got called “ugly” or “dumb” this week—

I hope someone told you the truth.

That names don’t define you.
That being weird is a superpower.
That you are so much more than your face, your grades, or the way you show up when someone else doesn’t feel good about themselves.

I hope someone reminded you that
you’re allowed to collect shiny rocks and love frogs and say things that don’t make sense yet.
That your softness is not a weakness.
And your kindness doesn’t mean you have to earn anyone’s love.

Some of us didn’t hear that when we were kids.
So we grew up into adults who say it loud now—
for every kid still learning how to unhear a lie.

You’re not broken. You’re becoming.
And your weird little magic?
That’s the best part.
-... .- -.. .- ... ... .-- .- .-. .-. .. --- .-.

What if your flare-up isn’t random?What if your body is waving the white flag — saying, “This isn’t sustainable. I’m not...
12/04/2025

What if your flare-up isn’t random?
What if your body is waving the white flag — saying, “This isn’t sustainable. I’m not okay.” 🏳️

Autoimmunity can look like exhaustion 😴, brain fog, hair loss, rashes, pain, digestive chaos, or anxiety that hits out of nowhere 💥.

But underneath it-It can feel like grief. Like being betrayed by your own body. Like losing pieces of yourself without warning.

And the world? Usually responds with, “Just manage your stress.”
Or worse: “Have you tried yoga?” 🙄🧘‍♀️

Here’s what doesn’t get said enough:
Your body might not be malfunctioning.
It might be protecting you the only way it knows how. 🛡️

Because when you’ve lived through trauma, chronic stress, emotional suppression, or had to be “the strong one” for too long…
Your nervous system remembers. 🧠💔
And sometimes it speaks through your skin, your gut, your hormones, your hair.

This isn’t weakness. This isn’t failure.
This is your body saying: “I need help. I need softness. I need something to change.” 🤍

If no one’s told you lately —
You’re not imagining it. You’re not too sensitive. You’re not broken.
You’re just a human with a brilliant, exhausted system that wants peace. 🕊️

And that deserves to be honored. ✨

Text me: 337-205-3211 📱
Email me: info@outsidetheboxpsychotherapy.com ✉️

Whether you’re flaring, unraveling, or just tired of pretending everything’s fine—
you’re worthy of care that actually sees you.

Address

LA

Opening Hours

Monday 10:00 - 18:00
Tuesday 10:00 - 18:00
Wednesday 10:00 - 18:00
Thursday 10:00 - 18:00
Friday 10:00 - 18:00

Telephone

+13372053211

Website

https://secure.helloalma.com/providers/rechele-mays/, http://Outsidetheb

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