28/07/2021
I forgot about my five year anniversary of top surgery, which was July 26th, 2021. Why am I sharing that?
So much of my transition so far was spent obsessing over these dates, markers, anniversary’s, etc. With my gender dysphoria, this helped me to celebrate some milestones and also inspire others to believe they too could live authentically.
I’m sharing that I forgot because I want to inspire you to live the whole of your life as your whole self. If you’re early in your transition, I want you to know there may come a time where these things don’t matter. This isn’t about whether it is good or bad because of course, celebrating is wonderful! This is about the milestone of overcoming aspects of my gender dysphoria. To me, this shows how far I’ve come in my transition and my transition continues.
I had three surgeries on my chest, all with the amazing in New York. Two were under and one in office. I’m happy with my results and I have zero doubts about my decision. The relief for me, was immediate. I mean, literally cried tears of joy the moment they woke me and wheeled me out of surgery.
I spend a lot more time being grateful for my top surgery, than I do focusing on dates. I’m not where I would like to be with my muscle gains in my chest and that really comes down to my health impacting my exercise schedule. That said, I am making changes to address it, so I can regain muscle there and more.
Another thing I want to point out is that my gender dysphoria didn’t disappear. Not after these surgeries or my hysterectomy. It DID improve - a lot, however I have very real bottom dysphoria and I haven’t stopped that journey emotionally, though it was halted through the pandemic and beforehand, due to coverage issues. I have recently started to talk to others more who have had bottom surgery and changed my course of action, which will not make sense to some. I’m not going to get into that process now, however I have my eyes now set on the Bay Area team. I have a long way to go and it will be a long road ahead.
I’m sharing this because I want you to know there’s no magic pill or surgery. Transitioning is a process.