Dr. Angie Gereis

12/27/2022

New Years resolutions are often a branch from a reflection of your past year. Even if you do not participate in New Years resolutions, having time to reflect back on your year can be an effective way to focus on a direction you want to go moving forward. ⁣
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I do not need to repeat what you all know: this year was exceptionally difficult for many, for some it was fine, and for others it was great. Whatever your year held, I encourage you to use the following reflections (by yourself or in a conversation with a loved one) to pause and appreciate where you are right here and now, and all the events and situations that brought you here. Through all the ups and downs and in-betweens, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐢𝐭. ⁣
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I wish you all a year full of peace, warmth, connection and love. I am forever grateful for all of you and this beautiful community⁣
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*PLEASE SEE DISCLAIMER IN HIGHLIGHTS*⁣⁣⁣
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12/10/2022

A fundamental existential question comes to mind for me here: 𝘈𝘳𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘷𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨?⁣
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The conclusion I often come to is 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠. The real dilemma lies in knowing the difference between living and surviving. Survival patterns are a complex amalgamation of neurochemical, biological, and emotional factors that come together to keep us alive at all costs based on perceived/experiences that were threatening. Living entails some of the same factors, with the main difference being the human capacity to practice awareness, live presently, and change, despite some of those powerful survival patterns that would encourage you to stay the same. ⁣
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That would mean that 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘷𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘮𝘦, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳. The task then is to figure out how these patterns are keeping you stagnant or helping you change and grow. ⁣
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This is no easy task, my fellow humans. Rewiring our brain to understand that surviving is not the end all be all of living is on par with mastering being a human. However, this does not mean it is impossible. 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐚 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐥 𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐞, 𝐩𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐠𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐲, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐞𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞. ⁣
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🤔This leads to new insights, better emotional outcomes, and healthier relationships, which is in my opinion, IS living. 😊⁣
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*DISCLAIMER: The information presented on this page should not be substituted for, nor is it intended to be, therapeutic/psychological advice, nor does it constitute a therapist-client relationship. Please consult with a mental health provider in your area for your unique mental health needs, or call 1-800-950-NAMI for resources and support. ⁣

12/06/2022

I dedicate this post to all those who have many/mixed feelings about the holiday season. I don’t believe the holidays are a joyous occasion for everyone, and it’s important that we acknowledge that the holidays can be filled with pain for many. ⁣
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On Thanksgiving, we 𝐩𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐞, which we know from research has a host of benefits. During Christmas, or other holidays, we practice engaging in joy and celebration. I hope you can take the time to honor your emotions, whatever they may be. I understand this can be difficult, so I outlined some things to think about and practice when those emotions feel too overwhelming. ⁣
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When I say “𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐧, 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐞”, I am saying before you go into the holiday season or to your family’s house, create a plan where you can control all feasible variables. For example, if you know driving with a certain person or family member to the house may trigger you, plan ahead: if you can drive separately do so. If you need to drive with them, and you feel comfortable doing so, bring headphones and listen to music, ask for some quiet time in the car, talk to someone on the phone (prepare and practice this). Though I know some of you will say this seems rude, 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐳𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐲 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝. ⁣
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If the holidays become too overwhelming, please know that there are resources everywhere to support you. Please reach out if you want some resources, including exploring therapy.

🥰Finally, be kind to yourself to others during this time. 🥰⁣

⁣ *PLEASE SEE DISCLAIMER IN HIGHLIGHTS*

11/14/2022

I’m going to be transparent with you all. I am a human being, just like all of you. I experience anxiety, doubt, and self-criticism just like everyone else. ⁣
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“Am I actually good at this?” ⁣
“Am I moving towards my goals”⁣
“Does anybody even care?” ⁣
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When these dark thoughts come for me, it feels like my whole day is “ruined.”⁣
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I’ve found that being able to talk back to these never ending dark voices with even a little 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 for myself goes a long way. ⁣
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I ask myself, “what would I say to a loved one?” if they said those horrible things about themselves out loud? Would I respond to them in agreement about the horrible things they are saying about themselves? Certainly not! ⁣
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𝐒𝐨 𝐰𝐡𝐲 𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐤𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐲?⁣
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The next time you find yourself going down a black hole of self judgement that leads to pain, take even one second to 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 to that critical voice. Remind yourself that you are doing the best that you can, that this feeling will pass, and it’s okay to have dark moments, but that DOESN’T make those critical voices true. ⁣

09/10/2022

Let’s talk about grief and loss. Many of you may be mourning the loss of someone important, the loss of a relationship, the loss of a dream you had, etc…. Grief and loss are arguably one of the most difficult experiences we go through universally as humans. Every culture, every ethnicity, every religion experiences grief and loss, and has ideas and rituals around it. This is a painful, but common thread, that unites us all in our humanity. We all can understand the devastating pain of loss and grief. ⁣
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Grief and loss are experienced on a spectrum (as are most emotions). Some people express/experience this grief differently than others- some may cry, some may withdraw, some may plunge themselves into activities. However and whatever your grief shows up as, it’s normal. As hard as it is, the only way past grief is through it. Your process through grief is yours to decide. Whether you include others, rituals, activities or not, allowing yourself to explore and be present with your grief will allow you to find a tolerance and acceptance.⁣
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This is tough stuff. I know that this is a thread of our humanity that many of us would rather not have. However, I want to invite you to embrace the bittersweetness of grief. Though painful, your grief is the validation of the love you had for that person/situation/thing. This makes love a bittersweet concept, no? ⁣
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Sending an abundance of love, patience and space your way if you find yourself grieving today. ⁣
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*PLEASE SEE DISCLAIMER IN HIGHLIGHTS*⁣

08/25/2022

🙌🏼🙌🏼MINDFULNESS🙌🏼🙌🏼

This is probably one of the most popular topics (and one of my favorites) right now in psychology. But what is mindfulness?

Mindfulness is the ability to be fully present in the moment, aware of where we are and what we are doing, and not become overly reactive or overwhelmed by what’s going on around us.

Simple, right? 😂 I know it seems difficult, and staying fully present is not something we are often taught to do. But by being more mindful, it takes the pressure off focusing on the past or future and allows you to just be in the present. WITHOUT JUDGEMENT.

You can be mindful anywhere and at any time. Maybe it means when you’re walking along the street or sitting at your desk, you take a minute to look up at your surroundings, noticing the nature- the sight, smells, sounds (maybe even tastes!)

This is by no means a skill that you should expect yourself to master in one day. Be patient and kind with yourself as you take on this new skill. Try taking two minutes today and allow yourself to be in the now. Notice something about your surroundings or yourself in this moment. Ask yourself after: How did that one or two minutes feel? What did you notice was happening in your mind? In your body?

Share your experience below, and continue to practice mindfulness daily. ⁣

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💫⭐️You’ll be amazed at the sense of peace and calm you may feel in time💫⭐️⁣

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*DISCLAIMER: The information presented on this page should not be substituted for, nor is it intended to be, therapeutic/psychological advice, nor does it constitute a therapist-client relationship. Please consult with a mental health provider in your area for your unique mental health needs, or call 1-800-950-NAMI for resources and support. ⁣

08/23/2022

Letting go of past issues and arguments is an important component of any heathy relationship. Holding on to resentment creates distance and disconnection, that if left unaddressed, can be irreparable. ⁣
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There is NO LIMIT to how many times you should be able to bring up a past argument or issue. This yields to healthier communication, safety and getting your needs met. It requires patience and vulnerability from both parties! ⁣
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Source: 𝘏𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘔𝘦 𝘛𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵: 𝘚𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘊𝘰𝘯𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢 𝘓𝘪𝘧𝘦𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘓𝘰𝘷𝘦. Sue Johnson, Ph.D., 2008.⁣
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*PLEASE SEE DISCLAIMER IN HIGHLIGHTS*⁣

08/23/2022

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐰𝐞 𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐡 𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐨 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐠𝐦𝐚 𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐭. I will often hear people say both inside and outside my office that they are “so depressed” after a situational factor, when what they are describing is their temporary emotional state of sadness. ⁣
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𝗪𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐞 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐡 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐠𝐞, 𝐢𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐳𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐲 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐛𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡. Depression is a serious medical and mental condition that impacts 16.1 MILLION American adults (adaa.org). ⁣
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Our confusion can lead us to neglect a serious condition that requires treatment (depression) or, on the other end of the spectrum, overreact to a normative emotional state (sadness). And here's why the distinction is crucial: If we (or a loved one) are depressed, it has huge implications for our long-term mental health, physical health, and longevity.⁣
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If you or a loved one is concerned that you are experiencing some symptoms of depression listed above (there are many other symptoms), please reach out to a therapist, psychiatrist, psychologist, a primary care doctor or any other medical professional. You are not alone in your experience, and it is not something that should be minimized or ignored. ⁣
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*DISCLAIMER: The information presented on this page should not be substituted for, nor is it intended to be, therapeutic/psychological advice, nor does it constitute a therapist-client relationship. Please consult with a mental health provider in your area for your unique mental health needs, or call 1-800-950-NAMI for resources and support. ⁣

08/19/2022

How many of you heard the saying, “It’s about the journey, not the destination?” 🙋🏽‍♀️It’s not where you’ve been or where you’re going. What is important is where you are now.

Though focusing on the present has been shown to help reduce depression, sometimes focusing on what’s happening in the here and now can heighten the belief that everything is horrible and it won’t get better. And what if the destination is much better than the journey? (anyone who has ever traveled on a plane can attest to this). Seeing the road ahead can provide a sense of hopefulness. Furthermore, focusing on the past can be helpful for us to learn from our mistakes, but too much focus on it can bring shame and guilt about past issues.

So what’s the solution here? What if instead on focusing on just one, there is a balance of all three: the past, present and future? Where you’ve been, where you are, and where you are going are all important, and what if you honored all three? 😌

Let’s change the saying then to something like, “It’s about where I was before the journey, having the courage to take the journey, and being hopeful about what the destination will bring.” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

🤔What are your thoughts? How would you reword that saying? Comment below! 👇🏼👇🏼 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

08/17/2022

Oh, the irony… ⁣
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How many of you have experienced “beautiful irony” in your life? 🙋🏽‍♀️🙋‍♂️🙋🏿⁣
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Japanese researchers found in 2011 that how people react to irony depends on individual traits like self-esteem and humor preferences.Specifically, people’s self-esteem and their openness to indirect forms of communication predict how likely they are to be receptive to irony. ⁣
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So when it comes to self-experienced irony, how likely are you to be receptive to your own strength? Do you give credit to the idea that you survived something you thought would break you? ⁣
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Let me know your thoughts in the comments below. Have a great Wednesday folks! ⁣
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*PLEASE SEE DISCLAIMER IN HIGHLIGHTS*⁣

08/15/2022

A key component of healthy relationships are boundaries. Being aware of our boundaries and limits helps us not only create and maintain healthy relationships, it can also help us heal from past hurtful relationships. Having awareness of what your boundaries are and the boundaries of others helps you discover who you are, and creates the foundation for all kinds of healthy relationships (casual acquaintances, friends, close friends, intimate relationships, etc.). ⁣
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What do boundaries look like? Boundaries exist in many areas of our lives, including the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual realms of life, and each area has unique factors to consider. To know what your personal boundaries look like in these areas you need to know yourself, including being in touch with your thoughts, beliefs, feelings, decisions, choices and experiences. Sometimes exploring yourself in therapy can help you figure yourself and your boundary factors out, or you can start by reflection, journaling and mediations. ⁣
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Discovering your boundaries is a lifelong journey, as you discover that many factors in your specific type of boundaries might evolve as you do. As you begin to think of your own boundaries, do so with patience, kindness and gentleness with yourself. There is no one “right” boundary; it’s a matter of making your boundaries lead to healthier, happier relationships with yourself and others. ⁣
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*PLEASE SEE DISCLAIMER IN HIGHLIGHTS*⁣⁣⁣⁣
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Interested in learning more about boundaries? You can read the full blog on my website: https://www.drangiegereis.com/blog/soul-4mg2k

08/13/2022

Happy Friday, friends!

Often times, when we feel a strong emotion (whether it be happiness, sadness, anger, etc.), we get consumed and wrapped up in the intensity of it. It’s usually uncomfortable and can make us feel like the ground beneath us is shifting.

This is totally normal. And you are not “crazy” for feeling what you are feeling. Emotions are an important biological and evolutionary aspect of humanity that makes us different than animals and helps us to survive (more on this later.) Something to remember in this moment of intense emotional experience is that the emotion will pass. Similar to a waves in the ocean, some emotions can have a larger crash than others, but they all eventually wash back into the ocean. If you find yourself wanting to get rid of the emotion, that is understandable, but I encourage you to stay with it, sit with it, take a deep breath and ride that wave.

You may be surprised to see that the emotion passes faster than you would have expected. And don’t forget to utilize deep breathing and self-care.