The Solar Feminine : Deeper into Light (2026)

30/12/2025

Welcome to .

A playful experiment on how much anyone really means it when they say -come as you are.

If you’re interested in working together, I encourage you to give me a follow and check out my website with my current offers .

18/12/2025

I’m glad you’re here 🩷

13/03/2025

The final scene of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon always takes my breath away.

You expect Jen to finally choose love—to stay with the man who has chased her across mountains and deserts, through chaos of her own making. After all the wreckage she’s caused by refusing to bow to anyone but herself, you think this is the moment she surrenders. But instead, she steps off the side of a mountain.

Graceful. Deliberate. Gone.

Before she jumps, she tells him to make a wish.

I first saw this movie in high school with my best friend. She hated it. I remember being genuinely angry at her for it—then immediately knowing I shouldn’t be angry over something as small as a movie. But I couldn’t help it.

Tonight, I watched Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon for the 50th time, but probably the first time in a decade. And this time, I sobbed.

Jen, caught between two worlds—duty and desire, tradition and rebellion, control and surrender—chooses none of them. Rather than being forced into the binary of obligation or escape, she creates a third path: transcendence.

Her leap from Wudan Mountain isn’t really a fall—it’s a rise. A rejection of the choices handed to her by others. A refusal to be trapped, not just by societal expectations, but even by the consequences of her own actions. She wants a miracle. She wants divine intervention. She makes reckless, impulsive choices, letting her ego try to figure it out. And when it all falls apart—when she’s caused more pain than she can possibly hold—she does the only thing left to do.

She lets go.

By stepping into the unknown, she claims a kind of freedom that neither submission nor defiance could offer her. It’s not surrender to fate—it’s surrender to something greater, something unbound.

Right before sparing Jen’s life, Yu Shu Lien—who has just lost the man she loved, the man she only allowed herself to kiss for the last two seconds of his life—looks at her with almost unimaginable compassion and says:

“Whatever path you choose, I hope it’s one that’s true to yourself.”

I used to go back and forth on whether she took that advice..

Reflecting tonight, i believe that she did.

Happy Venus Retrograde🌹

13/03/2025

Do you know yourself to be a receptive heart centered person, who wants to come closer, yet what is being served doesn’t taste right?

trust your body.

There’s a palpable difference between being vulnerable and using vulnerability as a tool. Genuine vulnerability is a bridge—it connects, levels, and fosters intimacy. It softens a space, making relationships feel closer, more reciprocal, and mutually understood.

But vulnerability, when weaponized, serves an entirely different function. It’s a power play—a method of control that introduces discord rather than unity. This kind of forced or performative disclosure isn’t about deepening trust; it’s about commanding attention, deflecting accountability, or offloading emotional weight onto others without consent. It’s the difference between being with a present truth, and manipulation.

Oversharing and exploitative drama masquerade as honesty but are often self-protective mechanisms. They create an illusion of intimacy while actually enforcing distance, as the receiver is put in a position of forced emotional labor. Instead of fostering closeness, this dynamic can feel invasive, even violent—an intrusion that demands something from you rather than offering anything meaningful.

When we’re on the receiving end of these disclosures—whether it’s a jarring social media post, a relentless stream of texts, or an out-of-nowhere confession—we naturally have reactions. Sometimes, it’s simply that we weren’t prepared to hold the weight of what was shared. Maybe we’re already in a raw space, maybe it brushed against something tender or unresolved within us. In those cases, the discomfort isn’t necessarily about the act of sharing itself, but about our own readiness to receive.

But most of the time—let’s say 85% of the time—when something lands with that distinct ick, when it repels rather than resonates, when it leaves you feeling drained or disturbed, it’s because your body has picked up on something deeper: the why behind the disclosure. The motivation beneath the words.

Your intuition registers more than your mind can immediately articulate. If something feels manipulative, off, or extractive—it probably is.

12/03/2025

Let’s support genuine human intelligence ❤️‍🔥
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It’s a solid ninety five percent probability for me, that if someone ends a sentence with,
“Do better.”
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
…I know they think they’re killing it in their own personal movie, so yay for them. But I’m privately thinking : wow. your version of brave is a trend and generally,
lame as F.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I do realize the cultural dialogue started from a progressive place. it’s an attempt at accountability, a step up at certain angles, but we should’ve moved beyond the better person, shame olympics by now…like, years ago.
I’m bored.
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Open hearted communication is such a turn on for me, and it’s also a complete rareity these days, even with all the awakening and mental health awareness. Our American values seem to have shifted to looking like a good person versus paying attention to the quality of our connections .

Even though I know we all aren’t capable of dropping in at every moment, and not everyone will understand us regardless of wtf we say ; Certainly, I can’t be the only person that sees past the obvious vampiric energy of this kind of posturing, and who also isn’t flirting with the alt right.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Throw in a trendy moral catchphrase, step on someone’s face, and be championed! ..in 3-2-1.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
It’s not helping us. You are serving the divide. Find better words that convey your point of view, instead of trying to tell people how to feel, and you might just mend more bridges than you burn.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I don’t know how we expect to create a kinder world, joining a massive wave of sustained and chronic, low frequency tactics; I think some of y’all need to more honest about the fact that you aren’t actually prioritizing love or peace.

What you are putting energy behind is a desire for the entire wide world, to conform to your personal belief systems.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Just be real about it, and you might heal something.

12/03/2025

Let’s support genuine human intelligence ❤️‍🔥
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
It’s a solid ninety five percent chance for me, that if someone ends a sentence with,
“Do better.”
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
…Though I know they think they’re killing it in their own personal movie, so yay for you. I’m privately thinking : wow. your version of brave is a trend and generally,
lame as F.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀. I do realize this moment was birthed from genuine good. it’s an attempt at accountability, a step up at certain angles, but we should’ve moved beyond the better person, shame olympics by now…like, years ago.

I’m bored.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Open hearted communication is such a turn on for me, and complete rareity these days. Even though I know we all aren’t capable of it in every moment; Certainly, I can’t be the only person that sees past the obvious vampiric energy of this posturing.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Throw in a trendy moral catchphrase, step on someone’s face, and be championed! ..in 3-2-1.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
It’s not a good look. Find better words that convey your point of view, instead of trying to tell people how to feel, and you might just mend more bridges than you burn.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I don’t know how we expect to create a kinder world, joining a massive wave of sustained and chronic, low frequency tactics; I think some of y’all need to more honest about the fact that you aren’t actually prioritizing love or peace. What you are putting energy behind is a desire for the entire wide world, to conform to your personal belief systems.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Just be real about it, and you might heal something.

12/03/2025

Just because someone enters a woman’s body does not mean they gain entry to her temple.

We need to move beyond the idea that, simply by being women, we are destined to experience s€x as something that binds us, entangles us, or takes something from us.

The belief that “there is no such thing as casual s€x” may be an attempt to honor our sacredness—to remind us that we are special, that our s€xuality holds power, that there is magic in the act of union. But there are ways to affirm this without casting every s€xually expressive woman as a vessel, a gateway, or a cosmic archetype she did not consent to embody. Sacred s€x is not something that just happens to us. It’s something we choose to engage in. To overly mysticize the vag!na suggests that the moment someone crosses the threshold of our bodies, they may gain access to something greater than what we intended to give.

Yes, sacred union exists. Yes, surrender carries vulnerability. Yes, there is significance in being entered. But temple doors do not open for just anyone—not without invitation, not without intention. And it is not the act itself that grants access; it is a woman’s choosing, her allowing, her will.

When we fail to acknowledge this, we create a belief system in which women are always at risk of being defiled, as if our sanctity can be stolen by any man who manages to step inside—be it an unworthy lover, an undeserving partner, or even someone who forced their way in. This is not truth.

A temple is not desecrated simply because someone walks its halls.
A temple does not lose its holiness because it has been entered.

Yes, protect your energy. Yes, honor yourself.

Respect your temple.

If you know that s€x carries deep emotional weight for you, honor that. Know yourself. Honor your sacred spaces. Clear energy and cut cords. But do not believe that every man who touches you automatically touches your soul. Not every act is an act of spiritual communion. Not every lover enters the portal. Not without a yes.

You are the gatekeeper of your temple.
You decide who is allowed inside.
And no one—especially not by default —can take that power from you.

07/03/2025

Thinking of my sweet girl today.
Catherine, you will always be my heart.🪽

05/03/2025

There is always someone or something in this world to love you, to see you, to touch you and to make your moments richer. There are endless combinations, a broader menu than you can imagine if you are brave, and sometimes I’m not brave, so I understand.

But life is a series of moments and every second holds a multitude of possibilities , and as much as we can believe that we know how things will go, we don’t. I think it’s one of the most incredible thing about humanity. We are capable of so much sorrow, but so much joy.

Everything changes so quickly.

You so frequently have your most joyful, after your most painful. You so frequently have days, and phone calls,and encounters, and emails, that change everything.

Opportunity and miracles and best friends and lovers and beloved animals and places;

So many places you’ve never been.
And they’re just there waiting for you.

I don’t really feel that going into my own spiritual beliefs, or any spiritual belief is necessary to understand the value of being; I think for most everyone, we can recognize that our time spent here generally is a hugely varied experience. And that it is expansive.

I have been deeply depressed for a good portion of my life, but there are so many amazing things and people and memories that fill me up, and if I had ended my ride, well I would’ve been also saying no to them.

I think perhaps the most damaging thing our society likes to feed is is that we’re supposed to hit this point of inner and/or outer success and fulfillment where our trajectory just keeps going up. Where things don’t hurt anymore. Where we don’t get sad. Where things don’t make us angry. Where we never feel broken or powerless or numb. That we have somehow conquered the negative and the darkness and discomfort.

I myself, think there is no such thing. There is only the beauty of growth. You’ll meet a desire, and you will find more, and your choice to continue- to be available for what is possible, or end this embodiment, is only yours you make.

The first time I entertained my out, I was 9.

You don’t need to pathologize the awareness of that option in your system.

I just want you to remember what’s here.

04/03/2025

Hagazussa: LadyDeath Devouring Night Spirit

We are in Pisces season—a dark sea- or a time of dreams and idealism. Even with the best intentions, it’s easy to lose yourself in fantasy, projecting your daydreams(or nightmares) on others. Do not stretch circumstances beyond where they naturally flow right now. Somethings are better kept private.

There are segments of reality where we are called to push through chaos and obstacles, forging new paths. Other times, we must surrender to forces beyond our control, honoring limitations and trusting the red lights around us.

Right now, you have reached a hard stop.

Stillness and deep reflection are required. Instead of trying to change the world around you, go inward. Find safety there. Many outer situations are shifting, and it’s best to leave them undisturbed. Some things transform on their own. The water will eventually carve the rock.

You may have recently chosen to let go—whether of a bad habit, an infected desire, a temptation, or an outdated version of yourself. This is a courageous act, and you are held in the tenderness of this decision. It is not easy. None of what you carry is.

Grieve, if you need to. But do not forget the power of playfulness. You can dance in the ashes. You can make something beautiful in this time. It is not all a waste. But it is compost.

The specifics and timing you prayed for may not be in the cards, but trust that the walls around your heart will fall when the time is right.
For now? In relationships, make sure everyone is on the same page, clarifying expectations, making sure you both mean the same thing by the same words, and simply that you understand one another.

Eventually it will be time for uninhibited truth, great leaps of faith, and courageous romanticism, but not yet.

Now we honor what has ended, our ancient history, and we wait.

02/03/2025

I wanted to hide for a long time. And it was a valid desire. It served a purpose. I had lost my resolve. I didn’t like myself anymore. My appearance became a shield. Suddenly, the projections cut deep. Ableism and oppressive systems that had always been there became torture. And I blamed myself—I used to be better at living. But it was just a segment of being, and it served.

People tell you to love yourself as if it’s always accessible.

They see your shape and think, “They must not love themselves.” They assess your partner: “They must not love themselves.”

You’re in a situationship? “You must not love yourself enough to find someone who chooses you.”

Not meeting your goals? “You’re doing it wrong. Don’t you love yourself enough to accept help from the universe?”

This Western culture judges you, though the journey from rejection, shame, and addiction to loving your life is still blessed—from beginning to end.

I doubled my body size in a couple of years. I’d cry, thinking, “How’d I let it get this bad?” Where the hell have I been to allow this?

But actually, I was there the whole time—changing, diving into deeper wounds, touching my greatest fears, piecing it all together.

If you’ve always felt in control of your appearance, losing that control will be a spiritual and psychological initiation.

As my body became a stubborn chaos and asked for unconditional love, I moved beyond pride and vanity, putting one foot in front of the other. It made me a better person.

I fell in love with my husband during a difficult time for my ego. Vulnerability stripped me down, forcing me to surrender to transformation—something bigger than my comfortable narrative.

Our connection pulls me from numbness into pain, pleasure, and a journey from hell to heaven. It wasn’t ever direct, and it’s still nonlinear, but the climb has been tremendous, and I am learning.

There are many ways to heal. Sometimes, we find beauty through suffering.

Trust that you are getting there. Trust that there are many roads, and they can get very windy.

Keep the faith—rather than sabotaging yourself by believing in backwards.

There really is no such thing.

01/03/2025

Tarot cards are good to throw if you can acknowledge that you are an active field of possibility, and your reality is fluid and changeable. Tarot cards can be dangerous to throw if you believe that your destiny is fated, and that feelings, dynamics, and alignments cannot shift .

🩵When you pick up psychic tools, it’s important to remember that you are someone who is actively creating their life with their own choices. Others are doing the same.

For people that are not really dug into the spiritual field to the degree that it feels normal; there tends to be a belief that a deck of cards can be scary or alarming, but the only way of reading should scare you, is

number one -you’re not with the right practitioner
or
Number two - you are disconnected from your own reality or in a kind of severe avoidance. And in that case, any look in the mirror would be scary.

A tarot reading or really any kind of psychic readingvl, ideally should be something that reaffirm your connection to yourself, and to what you already know.

If you get a reading that doesn’t really feel connected to your experience, whether it’s self read or from someone else it’s likely that something is being misinterpreted.

if you have your own deck or are getting readings. Periodically.,
They really should just be looked at as self reflection tools.

Part of embodying your spirituality is taking back your power from outside oracular sources.

since I know that i am the Oracle, I see the deck as an extension of myself, not a dictating force.

it’s important to try to ground into that feeling before we sit with cards, or else we will likely end up getting stuck in a story motivated either by our fears or our hopes, and neither will necessarily bring the depth you are seeking.

tarot really shouldn’t be thrown casually, unless you are very clear with yourself that you are doing it casually .

Too often I see people playing with a deck acting like they’re having fun but with that oh haha energy they end up taking it more seriously in reality.

if you’re gonna pick up a deck of cards lightly then you also should take what they say, lightly. 🫶

Do you understand what I mean?

The Solar Feminine : Deeper into Light

30/12/2025

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