Dr. Shelley Sommerfeldt

01/02/2026

Big love doesn’t come from grand gestures — it’s built in the quiet, ordinary moments we choose on purpose.

A hug before the day starts.
A thoughtful text in the middle of chaos.
Gratitude spoken out loud.
Laughter that softens the edges of stress.

This is micro-romance — small, intentional acts done consistently. And over time, they create safety, closeness, and a love that actually lasts.

You don’t need more time. You need more intention.
Which small moment will you choose today? 💛

01/01/2026

May 2026 bring you love that feels steady, growth that feels honest, and days where you choose clarity, connection, and peace—one small moment at a time. ✨

…and for my fellow military spouses and families, may this year bring moments of steadiness amid the uncertainty, deeper connection across the distance, and the reminder that your strength, sacrifices, and love truly matter.

01/01/2026

As the year comes to a close, it’s natural to reflect on what this season has held—the growth, the challenges, and the lessons you didn’t ask for but still carry forward.

Setting intentions for the new year can be meaningful, but it doesn’t have to be overwhelming. If goals feel energizing, name them. If they feel heavy, it’s okay to pause and simply ask, What do I need right now?

Sometimes the most powerful way to step into a new year isn’t with a plan—it’s with self-compassion, rest, and a willingness to meet yourself exactly where you are.

12/30/2025

Green flag: they stay curious about you.

Not just in the beginning.
Not just when things are easy.
But years in.

They ask questions instead of making assumptions. They notice changes instead of dismissing them. They stay interested in who you’re becoming, not just who you used to be.

Curiosity is emotional safety. It says, “I don’t have you figured out and I don’t want to.”

In long-term love, curiosity keeps connection alive. It prevents resentment, softens conflict, and creates space for growth. When partners stay curious, they don’t freeze each other in old roles, they evolve together.

Healthy relationships aren’t built on knowing everything. They’re built on continuing to ask.

Green flags aren’t loud. They’re consistent.

12/27/2025

Conflict gets a bad reputation, but it’s one of the most honest messengers in a relationship.

Arguments don’t just happen “out of nowhere.” They highlight unmet needs, emotional patterns, communication gaps, and where growth is being asked of both partners.

If you’re willing to slow down and look beneath the surface, conflict can actually strengthen connection rather than weaken it.

Swipe through to see what your disagreements may be revealing and how to use them as opportunities for deeper understanding instead of distance.

Save this if you want to fight smarter, not harder.

12/26/2025

The holidays tend to magnify relationships, both the warmth & the strain.

They can bring closeness, laughter, & shared meaning, while also highlighting our old patterns, stress, & unmet needs or expectations.

Read more on why December can be the best & hardest time for love & how to navigate it with intention:

Each December, as Christmas lights go up and social media fills with holiday posts and pictures, people talk about love, connection, and their hopes for relationships. They also mention stress, family issues, money worries, and feeling stretched too thin. The holidays are popular not just for the fu

12/25/2025

There’s something about quiet winter moments that invites reflection.

The slowing down. The togetherness. The reminder that warmth is something we create and nurture within ourselves and with the people we love.

This season isn’t about perfection or picture-perfect relationships. It’s about presence. Repair. Gratitude. Intention. And choosing each other again and again, even in small ways.

May your holidays include deep breaths, meaningful connection, and space to grow, both individually and together. 🌲✨

12/24/2025

The holidays don’t test your love, they test your nervous system. Regulation comes before communication. Grace comes before growth.

If emotions feel bigger right now, you’re not broken — you’re overloaded.

Slow it down. Breathe. Respond with intention, not impulse.

What’s one thing that helps you reset emotionally during the holidays?

12/23/2025

Laughter isn’t just fun — it’s one of the strongest relationship glues we have.

Research shows that couples who laugh together experience lower stress, higher relationship satisfaction, and stronger emotional bonds. Shared laughter releases endorphins, reduces cortisol, and creates a sense of “we’re in this together.” It also helps couples repair faster after conflict by softening defensiveness and rebuilding connection.

It’s not about being funny all the time. It’s about creating moments of lightness, play, and shared joy — especially during stress.

Healthy relationships aren’t built only in serious conversations.
They’re strengthened in the small moments where you smile, joke, and remember why you enjoy each other.

So today, don’t overthink it — find one moment to laugh together. It matters more than you think.

12/22/2025

The viral Taylor Swift bot debate is more than entertainment, it’s a lesson in how our brains fill in gaps, jump to conclusions, and misread intentions.

Whether online or in relationships, epistemic humility — pausing, staying curious, and seeking clarity — can prevent misunderstandings and protect connection.

💡 Reflection: What’s one moment recently when you assumed something without checking the facts?

To read more, check out my blog on the topic. Link in bio.