08/20/2024
3 years may not be that long for most people, but for me, it’s the longest l’ve stuck and stayed with anything. I have more clean time now than I do time that I spent using, and each day I can add to that distance. Getting clean and staying clean hasn’t fixed all my internal and external problems, but it has arrested many of them from progressing beyond what I can maintain. For example, I still experience anxiety, but it’s no longer debilitating to the point of constant panic attacks and loss of sleep or appetite. I still experience depression but it hasn’t kept me locked in my room for days/weeks or sent me to the hospital. These things didn’t just disappear, but they have been reduced.
The expansion of my life from when I came to the East Coast with only the outfit i was wearing, a backpack, and a pair of pajamas is something I could have never imagined or expected. Today, I am surrounded by support and love, and I get to be the person I dreamt I could be but never actually believed I’d ever get there.
The road to recovery has been a long and bumpy one, but I can say it has been worth it. Just a couple of days ago, I was at lunch with a friend, and I had said this is the first time in my adult life that I feel like I’m on the right track, headed in the right direction, and doing the right things. I had to correct myself, this is the first time in my life I have felt this way.
Period. The confidence and comfortability came from moments where I had to be brave and uncomfortable. These attributes and many others didn’t just happen. They were worked for.
Today, I live for moments when I can share my story, and people can identify with it, find the hope in it, or find direction from it. Today, I am not just surviving life after drug addiction, I’m living it. - 💗
