Community, Resources and Support for Mental Health Professionals

09/10/2025

09/10/2025

After her viral 2010 TED Talk, “The Power of Vulnerability,” Brené Brown became a kind of guru for millions of people around the world who devotedly follow h...

09/10/2025

09/09/2025

09/09/2025

www.katiebeecher.com

09/09/2025

September is National Preparedness Month - a perfect reminder to check in with your child care provider about their emergency plans. Knowing your providers' emergency procedures helps keep everyone safe and gives you peace of mind. Ask to see your provider's plan to make sure you're in the loop!

09/09/2025

Please support the American Foundation for Su***de Prevention to help save lives and bring hope to those affected by su***de. Donate or register to walk!

09/08/2025

09/07/2025

As a trauma therapist I worked with a child, we’ll call her Bella, who was the “mom” in her home since the age of 6. Her mother’s substance use made her home life unsafe and unpredictable, so Bella stepped in to feed herself and her siblings, get them ready for school, and make sure nobody was hurt.

When she entered kinship care, her new family told her, lovingly,
“You don’t have to worry about that anymore. You just get to be a kid now.”

But instead of relief, Bella felt terrified.

She micromanaged everyone. Who sat where, when the little ones took a nap, and what they ate for dinner.

And when those things didn’t go her way, she’d scream, cry, or shut down.

Bella wasn’t a “bad kid” she was terrified of losing her survival skill: control.

For her, control equaled safety and survival, and when she lost it she desperately tried to regain it again through the fight, fligh response.

This looked like power struggles, oppositional behavior, and defiance but really it was a trauma response.

If you are raising or working with a child in this situation, here’s how you can help them feel safe while also helping them redefine their role in the family:

1. Name the loss.
“You were the one in your family making all of the decisions. It must feel scary to give that up.”

2. Name it as a loss. “Coming into our family means you lost the job you had in your family, and that’s a big deal. It’s normal to feel sad or scared about this change.”

3. Offer choices that restore agency. Not full control, but voice and power in age-appropriate ways.

“I know it will take time to find your new role/job in our family. What if you could be a “mommy’s helper” instead of doing it all? How would that feel? You could help me with snack and read to the little ones at bedtime.”

4. Create structure and predictability. Safety comes from knowing what’s next. Write it down. Post it. Stick to it. Use a visual calendar or daily “to do” chart so she knows when it’s her time to help out. Knowing her time is coming can help her be less hypervigilant.

5. Go slow. Be patient. The child may have held their role as caregiver for many years. It’s tied to their need to survive and will take time to untangle that connection.

6. Remember: You’re not just parenting a child. You’re helping them release a role that kept them alive. A role they never should’ve had in the first place.