02/07/2026
This…totally this!
WANT TO RAISE YOUR FREQUENCY? START BY PULLING YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ARSE
By Zen Prem
Everyone wants to “raise their frequency” these days, like it’s a fu***ng Spotify playlist you can just vibe your way into.
Slap on a crystal, say “I release what no longer serves me,”
and boom, you’re suddenly vibrating like a ta***ic dolphin on ayahuasca.
But here’s the thing no one posts on Facebook or Instagram: Raising your frequency isn’t pretty.
It’s not all white linen and cacao ceremonies.
It’s sobbing on your bathroom floor at 3am with a nervous system that’s fried and a mind that won’t shut the f**k up.
You want to go higher?…
Cool.
You’ve gotta go deeper first.
Right into the grime, the grief, and the total fu***ng honesty you’ve been avoiding since you were twelve.
So, following on from my previous post ‘WHAT IF YOUR LIFE LOOKS GOOD… BUT FEELS DEAD INSIDE?’
Here’s some practical tips you may find helpful…
1. Conscious Breathwork
Do you want to feel like a God or just hyperventilate like a Victorian child having a fainting spell?
Because breathwork is both.
Eleven minutes a day of deep, conscious breathing can get you high, humbled, and halfway to a mystical experience, assuming you don’t tap out before minute five wondering if you left the fu***ng stove on.
It’s free. It’s primal. It’s available right now.
Or of course, if you’d rather pay $90 for some Peruvian dude on YouTube to “activate our DNA” with breath patterns you could’ve Googled.
Just. Fu***ng. Breathe.
2. Meditation
Yes, sit your arse down, cross your legs (or don’t), and try not to fantasise about lunch.
Throw in some 432Hz binaural beats if you need a soundtrack.
But the fastest way to raise your frequency through meditation is not to try to raise your frequency.
Just sit there.
Let your mind be the chaotic disco it is.
Eventually, something quiet shows up. That’s you.
Not your grocery list. Not your future TED Talk. You.
3. Fasting (Optional Sadomasochism)
If you want to feel closer to meeting God, skip breakfast.
By hour 16 you’ll be so empty and lightheaded, you’ll either meet the Divine or headbutt the fu***ng fridge crying.
But let’s not get righteous here.
Fasting isn’t magic, it’s clarity bought through temporary self-deprivation.
Seriously, skip the smugness. Just try it.
If you get hangry and scream at the cat, maybe don’t do it on workdays.
4. Heart Coherence
This sounds like a TEDx wet dream, but it works.
Close your eyes. Think about something you love. Really love. Your dog. Your kid. That time he looked at you like you mattered.
Then breathe into that space like your life depends on it, because maybe it does.
The heart isn’t just a pump. It’s a tuning fork for your humanity.
You want a higher frequency? … Feel everything, then let it melt in your chest.
5. Ecstatic Movement
You haven’t lived until you’ve ugly-danced in your kitchen at 6am with a face like a deranged prophet.
Move your body like it owes you nothing and you’ll find your trauma hiding in your hips.
Yes, it’s cringey at first. Yes, you’ll look like a goat on acid being tasered. Do it anyway.
You’ll come out lighter, looser, alive.
Shake the s**t out of your cells.
6. Face Your Shadows
This one isn’t sexy.
It’s you, a notebook, and the part of you that never healed from age six.
It’s journaling the stuff you don’t want your therapist to read.
It’s calling yourself out on the lies you tell in relationships, in arguments, in silence.
This is frequency work for grown-ups.
Do it with a pen, or do it with your life on repeat. Your choice.
7. Connect with Nature
Go barefoot. Touch a tree.
Yes, it feels weird at first, especially if you’re ‘cultured’ and trained to avoid public displays of dirtiness …
But five minutes with your feet on the ground will do more for your nervous system than another mindfulness app asking you to breathe like a sea turtle.
Nature doesn’t care how spiritual you are. It already vibrates high.
Go plug yourself in.
8. Speak Your Truth
Warning: speaking your truth may result in endings.
But nothing tanks your frequency like being liked for someone you’re not.
Say the thing. Ask the awkward question. Admit what you really want.
Authenticity is terrifying.
It’s also liberation.
9. Treat Everything as Sacred
You don’t need to move to Bali to be spiritual.
Try washing your mug like it’s holy.
Take a s**t with reverence.
Light a candle and mean it.
Sacredness isn’t ceremony, it’s attention.
Start there. Enlightenment optional.
10. Listen to Your Soul
It’s quiet.
Which is why you keep missing it.
It’s not in your scroll.
It’s not in your ten-step plan.
It’s in the stillness between your distractions.
Stop. Listen. Breathe.
There it is.
11. ECSTATIC EXPRESSION (a.k.a. Scream Therapy for the Spiritually Constipated)
Sometimes the fastest way to raise your frequency is to fu***ng lose it, consciously.
Scream into a pillow.
Roar into the void.
Howl like a fu***ng banshee who just found out Mercury is in retrograde again.
It’s not drama.
It’s detox.
You’ve got 30 years of swallowed pain living in your throat chakra like unpaid rent - tell it to f**k off.
Cry. Wail. Break plates (safely).
Do whatever it takes to stop being a well-behaved zombie waiting for enlightenment.
Your voice is a weapon.
Use it to reclaim your goddamn life.
12.LAUGH LIKE A FU***NG LUNATIC
No, really - fu***ng laugh.
Not the polite chuckle you use to survive awkward dinner parties.
I mean snort-laugh, ugly-laugh, tears-down-your-face-until-you-can’t-breathe kind of laugh.
Because if your healing doesn’t include laughter, it’s just another fu***ng trauma ceremony in beige yoga pants.
Laughter is frequency alchemy.
It’s your nervous system saying, “Okay, I can breathe again.”
It unhooks the shame. It softens the rage.
It reminds you that even in the middle of your messy awakening,
you’re still hilariously, gloriously, stupidly human.
Watch a dumb video. Laugh at yourself.
Giggle mid-breakdown.
Make peace with the absurdity of it all.
Because if you can laugh and cry in the same hour, you’re not just raising your frequency… you’re fu***ng surfing it
FINAL WORD
Raising your frequency isn’t a vibe.
It’s a reckoning.
It’s burning the illusion that healing is cute.
It’s choosing presence over performance.
Truth over trends.
Love over likability.
So if you want to raise your frequency?
Stop faking peace.
Start embodying truth.
Then dance like you’ve been possessed by a funk demon, journal like your soul’s about to explode, and scream until your ancestors applaud from the astral plane.
High fu***ng vibes , baby!
Zen Prem (Noah David)
Coauthor of Beyond Bulls**t To Bliss with Samantha Spiro
Zen Prem 🙏🏽
