12/26/2025
We spent Christmas Eve travelling through snow and darkness, with a destination in mind, but with no certainties. We had hope held in our chest, a glimmer that kept the grief of losing Jack that morning a little quieter. Often, the wheel of fate takes one we love and delivers another without fanfare.
The Land Ark is a magical place, not huge in space, but immense in meaning. As someone leaves, there is almost a collective sigh, a vacuum that opens, a space that needs to be occupied. We work within our limitations, and we know in our hearts how special every spare nook and cranny is. We wish it were not so that we could help more; that we had a larger team and a bigger support base. However, the constraints make it all the more special to our hearts and minds. Usually, we have no time to plan or fill, as the universe steps in and thrusts us someone who needs us, or perhaps whom we need.
Grief is the loss of direction for immense love to pour; it is the loss of purpose or trajectory, of feeling lost. For us, it is numbed a little when love has another direction to pour rather than into a void where someone used to be. We were relatively empty the morning after Jack left; the moments stretched and elongated, twisted, almost a mirror of our heart muscles. And that was when the sigh collapsed into clarity, the void pinged in on itself and collapsed. A light twinkled, and a direction appeared.
An unwanted twin, to collect.
No trajectory planned, Christmas Eve that had been left to make a cake for Louis' birthday, to hide his books around the farm, family time, and a little rest.
Instead in darkness, slicing wind, and the beginning of snow, we were walking down a muddy path, hundreds of miles from the Ark. Louis was guarding our beloved residents, not wanting a cake or gifts, just for the love of Jack to have somewhere else to go, now he was safe and eternally cared for.
Guard your hearts, she has a new umbilical, a frame as strong as twigs held in a bundle. We knew not if she had received sustenance from a mother. She is delicate, and home may be just for warmth and love for a short, limited time. To balance her experience of life on earth, to be warm, pain-free and loved beyond measure, for a few days, likely, maybe a few weeks if we are blessed, longer if we believe again in miracles. We never get to pick healthy animals; we are always given the unwell, unwanted, or hurt ones. The roulette wheel spins; we try to change the odds, but that is ultimately out of our control. We have the heart to try, the experience to see, and the support to hope, but we never know for sure.
Oonagh, meaning the one, the lamb, returned to the Land Ark in the depths of Christmas Eve as it turned past midnight. Warmed in the tiniest jumper, given a little warm milk and welcomed to our hearth. Her outcome is now as unknown as all the others, but her journey will be kind, supported, and protected.
Since her arrival, we have not slept much as she has required round-the-clock care, but that is nothing to complain about. Our hearts swell with hope, and being in the position to gift her the love that was her birthright to receive, we hope we can substitute her natural mother well enough that she feels safe and cared for all of the days that her life is here on earth.
With love.
If you can help with this unplanned save, towards her medicine or for extra small nappies please use paypal.me/bigvsanctuary
Help towards Jacks last medication needs would be welcomed, and our rolling vet bill đ
The shop where veggies, fruits, nappies size 3, puppy pads etc can be found.
https://big-v-sanctuary-shop.sumupstore.com/