12/15/2025
I wrote this last year but thought it was worth sharing anually. This is my second season without Mom and to be honest it’s not much easier than last year. Im trying but still struggling to find my holiday spirit. I know I’m not the only one and wanted ya’ll to lmoa you arent alone either.
As we get closer to Christmas you may be wondering how to help friends or family members who are grieving. It’s hard enough to grieve on a random day of the year but throw in all the fa la la la la and twinkling lights and parties and it only magnifies the fact that someone important is missing from the celebration. Here’s a few helpful tips-
* Be supportive of the way the person chooses to handle the holidays. Some may wish to follow traditions; others may choose to avoid customs of the past and do something new. It’s okay to do things differently. Some may even choose not to acknowledge the holidays and that needs to be ok too.
* I cannot emphasize this enough… Say their name and share their stories- that you remember too is the greatest gift you can give them!!
* Offer to help them set up their tree/decorations “if” they want to. And bring goodies so they don’t feel the need to entertain you.
* Invite the person to join you or your family during the holidays. You might invite them to join you for a religious service or at a holiday meal where they are a guest. Do not however place an empty chair or other memorial for the one who died without asking if that’s something the grieving would find comforting. For some it’s just a magnified physical reminder of the absence.
* Ask the person if he or she is interested in volunteering with you during the holidays. Doing something for someone else, such as helping at a soup kitchen or working with children, may help your loved one feel better about the holidays.
* Donate a gift or money in memory of the person’s loved one. Remind the person that his or her loved one is not forgotten.
* Never tell someone that he or she should be “over it.” or “try to be happy and enjoy!”Instead, give the person hope that, eventually, he or she will enjoy the holidays again.
* Be willing to listen. Active listening from friends and family is an important step to helping some cope with grief and heal.
* Remind the person that you are thinking of him or her and the loved one who died. Cards, phone calls and visits are great ways to stay in touch.
* Follow up after the holidays to check in. Given the activity of the season, some people may make it through the holidays without any issues but they might find the post-holiday period to be more difficult. So checking in after the holidays to see how he or she may be doing is important.
May you all feel PEACE this holiday season.
