Merlyn Asencio LCSW

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✨ I help women heal & reclaim their authentic selves through The Merlyn Method™
✝️ | 🌿 Stories, insights, and mindful spaces |
💬 Follow my journey for Soul Hug moments & inspiration—connect with me on Instagram

04/18/2026

It’s not that you don’t see the red flags.
You see them. You clock them almost immediately.
But something about the chaos feels… weirdly like home. 😮‍💨

Here are 6 patterns I see come up constantly, and honestly, most women don’t even realize they’re doing them:

1. You mistake intensity for chemistry
When it feels confusing and unpredictable, your nervous system goes this must mean something. Calm starts to feel like “he’s not interested.”

2. You think THIS time you can finally get it right
So you give more. Explain more. Stay longer than you should. Hoping that if you just do enough… it’ll click.

3. You’re not dating him. You’re dating his potential.
The version of him you can see SO clearly. The one he shows up as maybe 30% of the time. That’s the guy you fell for.

4. You felt the red flag early. And then you argued yourself out of it.
“I’m probably overthinking.” “Nobody’s perfect.” Sound familiar?

5. Love that comes easy actually makes you nervous
You’re more comfortable when you’re working for it. Earning it. Ease almost feels suspicious.

6. You think because you’re self-aware, you should be over this by now

But awareness doesn’t automatically rewire your nervous system. That takes something different.

If this felt a little too familiar… save it.
You’re going to want to come back to this one.

Follow me, I share the kinds of conversations I have in session that quietly shift everything.

❤️

04/06/2026

Let’s take a deep breath together.
And while we’re here, I want to remind you…

You don’t have to solve everything right now.
Your body just needs a moment to feel safe again.

Inhale slowly.
Notice your feet.
Let your shoulders drop.

This is how regulation begins.
Not by forcing calm… but by creating it, one breath at a time.

04/02/2026

You don’t walk out of EMDR with “magic.”

You walk out realizing…
you’re not as triggered as you used to be.

The thought still shows up…
but it doesn’t take over your whole day.

You remember things…
but they don’t feel like they’re happening all over again.

You feel emotions…
without spiraling, shutting down, or overthinking every detail.

That’s the shift.

EMDR helps your brain process what it didn’t get to finish…
so your nervous system can finally stop reacting like it’s still back there.

And suddenly, the version of you that felt “out of reach”…
feels natural.

Not forced.
Not performed.
Just… you.

If you’ve been doing all the “right things” and still feel stuck, there’s usually something deeper that hasn’t been processed yet.

And no, you’re not behind.
Your brain just needs a different approach. Follow along to learn more about EMDR.

04/02/2026

You understand your patterns…
you can name them in real time…
and somehow, you’re still stuck in the same cycle.

That’s the anxious-avoidant loop.

Part of you craves closeness.
Part of you pulls away the moment it feels real.

So no… you don’t need more insight.
You need regulation that actually meets you in that push-pull.

Here are some of the “weird” ways I teach my anxious-avoidant clients to regulate between sessions:

• Delay the reaction (don’t suppress it)
Give it 10–20 minutes.
Your nervous system is trying to protect you, not tell you the truth.

• Name the part (IFS lens)
Is this the part that fears abandonment… or avoids vulnerability?

• Lean in 5%
Not all or nothing.
A text. A little softness. Stay a bit longer.

• Create a safe exit
“I need space, but I’m not going anywhere.”
That’s regulation and secure attachment.

• Track your body
Tension, shallow breathing, restlessness = cues to regulate.

• Not everything is intuition
Sometimes it’s just activation.
Unfamiliar doesn’t mean unsafe.

You don’t need to become someone else.
You just need to learn how to stay… without abandoning yourself.

If this felt a little too accurate, follow for more. ❤️🧠🌸

04/01/2026

I’m like… this is exactly how spiritual bypassing sounds.

And it happens all the time.

It sounds spiritual on the surface…
but what it actually does is skip right over the person.

It turns a real, human experience into a quick spiritual conclusion.

“Just trust God more.”
“Just pray about it.”
“You shouldn’t feel that way.”

And now she’s not just anxious…
she’s anxious and feeling like she’s failing God.

That’s the part that gets me.

Because anxiety isn’t something you “faith” your way out of in one sentence.
It’s something your body is trying to communicate.

And spiritual bypassing shuts that down before we even get to listen.

You can love God deeply…
and still have a nervous system that’s overwhelmed.

You can trust Him…
and still need to process what you’ve been through.

Faith was never meant to silence your humanity.
It was meant to meet you in it.

So instead of bypassing it…
we slow down.
we get curious.
we actually tend to what’s there.

Because healing happens when your faith and your story are allowed to sit at the same table… not when one is used to dismiss the other.

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Miami, FL

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