09/09/2024
I have enjoyed a couple of exciting and productive years after my book was published by Manifest It Publishing, Inc., “Iris, Rediscovering A Mothers Love Through The Stages Of Dementia” With their assistance I made #1 Best Selling Author. Very exciting.
Publishing gave me the confidence to continue sharing my mother’s story, first with anyone who would listen and then with organizations that could benefit from my experience.
I was inspired by remembering the love, joy and adventure my mother and I experienced after she moved in with me. As time went on love, joy and adventure had become a consious choice. Writing about Iris, I felt a deep gratitude toward her, she worked hard to stay present and connected the best she could. We enjoyed every moment. Even at the end of her life she wanted to protect me by not allowing me to see her the moment she passed in bed at home.
These memories inspired me to reach out to the Agency on Aging, an agency I reached out to about receiving assistance at home. They informed me she qualified for 35 hours a week of an aids assistance, with no cost to me. The support to me was priceless. Iris was able to continue with Adult Daycare (including a ride service) and she stayed independent and productive in the world. She regularly mentioned, “I need to go to work”. Like a good nurse would.
To Iris, who worked as a nurse all her adult life, Adult Daycare gave her purpose, as she continued to serve others. Great lesson! She continued till she became injured, bed ridden and passed six months after.
I began organizing a short talk I could share with senior centers and social service organizations. I called it.
Love and Joy after Dementia
Self Care Topics included;
* Keep lines of communication open and clear:
* Managing care and building emotional support starts with good communication.
* Let family members know early. This way, they will have a better understanding of what is going on and may be able to help with care.
* Throughout your loved one’s journey Nurture emotional support.
* Pay special attention to the needs of younger family members. Children and young adults can sometimes feel left out of the conversation. Most of all, make sure they understand they can still spend meaningful quality time with their loved one with Alzheimer’s.
* Counseling or mediation can help you solve problems, find common ground and minimize stress. (I used music)
These high level topics led to much discussion between myself and agencies serving seniors.
The first agency I contacted was the Agency on Aging. The agency purchased ten books to share with the other agency directors attending my presentation.
I then schedule myself into several senior centers to discuss the self care items I identified. I visited several centers in my town and the towns around me. I was included in their monthly meetings.
The experience was interesting and rewarding. Offering unconditional love is a pleasure I had forgotten in the cynicism of my life. Of course, I would give anything to have her dementia disappear. But it can't. It has taught me more about myself and the world than any single situation before. One of my intentions of writing a book and public speaking was to introduce the ideal of unconditional love. The discussions led to many moments of healing and for many, the opening of hearts.
