04/09/2024
What a great, informative article. Thanks for sharing your story, Jules, and Hartford Township Police Department for taking the time to listen.
The Hartford Township Police Department strongly believes that your mental health is important. Mental Health affects how we think, feel, and act. It also helps determine how we handle stress, relate to others, and make healthy choices.
September’s Mental Health Monday features Jules Duncan from West Bend. Jules and Captain Meyers had a great conversation about her mental health journey. Thank you, Jules, for having the bravery and strength to share you journey with others. It isn’t easy to be vulnerable, but your journey will without a doubt help someone.
Jules explained that since she was about five or six years old, around kindergarten, she has struggled with anxiety, but she really never suffered with depression until her early twenties around the time her parents got divorced.
How does a young, kindergarten aged child cope with anxiety? Jules shared, “I would cry and beg my mom not to go to school. I was extremely shy growing up and it gave me anxiety meeting or talking to people. I would actually suck my thumb as a way to cope.” Jules did not see a therapist as a young child and she didn’t begin taking prescription medication to help with her anxiety and depression until her twenties.
Jules began taking Paxil when she was 20 years old. Paxil is an anti-depressant that is used to treat depression, panic attacks, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), anxiety disorders, and post-traumatic stress disorder. Paxil helped Jules, but she said, “To be honest I wasn’t very consistent with taking my medication. So, at times I would yo-yo with my emotions.” Jules explained, “I don't think any of my meds really worked. I bounced around from med to med trying to find the winning combination. It was so frustrating.” Jules said that overall, she didn’t believe her depression was interfering with daily life activities. Jules said, “I was still able to go to work and take care of my family.”
Jules got married in 1994 when she was 20 years old. Jules said, “I was more than ready to get married. I was still living at home and things were falling apart with my parents. I was ready to start a new life. My husband was loving, but not always supportive of my mental illness. He just thought if I tried hard enough I would miraculously get better.
Jules shared with Captain Meyers, I wish they (family) would’ve taken an interest in my mental illness. Their closet response was always, Did you take your meds? Nobody understood me.”
Jules was diagnosed Bi-polar in 2002 and has taken different medications over the years to assist her with managing her mental health. Bipolar disorder, formerly called manic depression, is a mental health condition that causes extreme mood swings. These include emotional highs, also known as mania or hypomania, and lows, also known as depression. Jules said, “I think Lexapro, Lithium, and Wellbutrin are working well for me. That’s what I’m currently on.” Jules has also taken Prozac, Celexa, and Zoloft in the past. Jules told Captain Meyers that she does not like having to take medications daily, but understands that they help her. Jules said, “I hate it. I wish I didn’t have to.”
Jules said her depression became worse in her 30’s. Jules shared, “I honestly can’t pin point what happened to me in my early 30’s, but my depression got out of control. I was having suicidal thoughts and attempted su***de twice.” Jules said she took a large handful of sleeping medication and prayed that she wouldn’t wake up. Jules was admitted to the hospital during both of her su***de attempts.
Jules explained to Captain Meyers, “It literally was out of the blue when I became manic for the first time. I didn’t realize I was manic as I never felt this feeling before. I felt I could take on the world! I felt invincible. I started talking and sleeping with numerous men, most of which I found on dating websites, to build my low self-esteem. One day I’m happy in my marriage and the next day I need the excitement of sleeping with anyone that would give me the time of day.”
Jules said she had a great life and that she was baffled as to why she couldn’t control her depression. Jules said, “I was married and had two amazing little boys at home. What was wrong with me? Why was I being punished?” Jules said that her depression would leave a black cloud over her life for years.
Jules’ older sister, who’s a counselor, was watching her behavior and encouraged Jules to see a psychiatrist. Jules said she went to the psychiatrist, and on her first visit the psychiatrist expressed that they felt Jules was manic and that she was 100% bipolar. Jules said, “The word bipolar didn’t mean anything to me as I really didn’t know what that word meant.” Jules explained that she researched what it meant to have bi-polar and discovered the disorder was going to be a life-long struggle for her.
Jules and her husband divorced in 2011 after 17 years of marriage. Jules shared, “Basically my family encouraged my husband to divorce me because I was out of control and unstable. My family didn't see any proof that I was getting better. I moved out of our house and got my own apartment.” Jules said her husband received full custody of their two boys because he was considered more stable. Jules said, “I understood that this was the best decision for my boys, but this brought me to such an ultimate low that I started drinking excessively and became a drug addict. I also stopped taking my meds.” Jules said she barely saw her boys and was dating many different men, some who physically and verbally abused her. Jules said, “My life was an absolute mess. I had no hope for a better life.”
Jules was recently hospitalized at Rogers Behavioral Health in December 2023 for a manic episode where she needed help adjusting her medication. Jules said, “I still have plenty of ups and downs, but I recognize the signs of when I feel manic or depressive episodes coming on. That’s when I reach out for help instead of isolating myself. Be good to yourself. You’re worth it!”
Jules says it has been about 14 years since her divorce and she has finally turned a corner in her life. Jules said, “I’m sober from drugs and alcohol, my boys and I are currently working on our relationship with each other, my family and friends love and support me constantly, and I have a closer relationship with God.” Jules says that everything isn’t perfect and that she is a work in progress, but things are going well.
Jules says she has a great relationship with most of her family and that she’s currently trying to rebuild relationships with some of her family members. Jules said, “I have an amazing support group – solid friends. I don’t have a lot of friends, but I have quality over quantity.”
Jules said for her personally she asked her family and friends to be her voice for her. Jules said, “I was in such a dark place that just picking up a phone to make an appointment was overwhelming for me. But once I got on the right medication and started getting out of bed on a regular basis, I slowly started to feel life in me again.” Jules was able to make her own appointments, went to work, and began showing up in a positive way in her family’s lives. Jules said, “I want readers to know that they are loved, never alone, have purpose in this life, and to never give up!”
Jules told Captain Meyers the reason why she felt compelled to share her journey is because she wants to give a message of hope to readers. Jules said, “I hope that they can pull themselves out of the darkness and see light again. I hope that they will see their worth and value again.” Jules said, “What I want readers to learn is that they are not alone in their mental health journey. That there are so many resources available, they just need to reach out and ask for help.”
Please contact Captain Adam Meyers at adam.meyers@hartfordtwpwipd.gov if you would like to share your mental health journey and be featured during one of our Mental Health Mondays. Thank you.
Let's work together as a community to help stop the stigma associated with mental health. "It's o.k. to talk about your mental health. You are not alone. Please don't suffer in silence."
If you or someone you know are experiencing a mental health crisis please dial 9-1-1 or 9-8-8.
These are additional mental health resources:
NAMI Washington County - Wi
https://www.namiwashingtonwi.org/
NAMI Southeast Wisconsin
https://namisoutheastwi.org/
988 Su***de & Crisis Lifeline
https://www.988lifeline.org/
Washington County, Wisconsin
Washington County - Behavioral Health
https://www.washcowisco.gov/departments/health___human_services/behavioral_health
SAMHSA
SAMHSA - Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services
https://www.samhsa.gov/data/
Wisconsin Peer Specialist Employment Initiative
Wisconsin Peer Specialists
https://www.wicps.org/
QPR
QPR - Question. Persuade. Refer.
https://qprinstitute.com/
Mental Health America of Wisconsin
https://www.mhawisconsin.org/
Free mental health education for family and loved ones of those living with mental health conditions can be found here: https://namisoutheastwi.org/support-and-education/mental-health-education/family-to-family/
Free mental health education for parents & caregivers of youth living with mental health conditions can be found here: https://namisoutheastwi.org/support-and-education/mental-health-education/nami-basics/
Please share this post. Thank you.
The Wisconsin Professional Police Association
