02/17/2025
If we want to be kind to our horses, we have to start being kind to ourselves.
A lot of equestrians I meet put themselves under a lot of pressure. I know, because I was one of them, not too long ago.
I’m an ambitious person and I love making progress. When I met the academic art of riding, for the first time I had the feeling that even I, a just moderately talented horse person, could actually achieve something. And the results came fast. It felt very good. I put in the work, my horse and I developed.
At some point, my ambition met my horse’s physical limits. Intellectually, I accepted that. Nobody pushed me to do more, and yet, this slight disappointment grew. It is fairly normal to have a plateau in the training, I was told, it will pass. Well, it didn’t pass for a long time.
I didn’t know that I felt that pressure until I started to develop another horse and we started to work on more “fancy” exercises. Suddenly, the pressure was off. And that’s when I became really conscious of it. And felt deeply sorry.
It’s not that I was hitting my horse or doing anything harmful. But I was unfair in other ways. Such as stopping to develop him or trying different approaches, which must have been confusing. Just not being as happy about what he could give me. Not so much looking forward to our time together as I used to.
When we work with horses, we will meet sides of our character we managed to keep hidden or that we wished didn’t exist. Horsemanship has a way of bringing that to light. And that’s ok, and we have to forgive ourselves. If we cannot accept ourselves with our flaws, I believe we also cannot truly accept our horses.
So, don’t be so hard on yourself. Horsemanship is a great journey of character development. For all of us. We all have flaws, and we will all meet them at some point. If not, we just haven’t done it long enough or sincerely enough, and we haven’t felt that deep wish to truly understand horses.
“Look into the eyes of your horse, but don’t be frightened by the truth.” (Bent Branderup)