New Beginnings Women's Help Center

09/13/2025

Our expectations in life can cause a ripple of good or worst thinking patterns. A realistic expectation will have a good ripple effect on our lives. Where an unrealistic expectation can have our thinking patterns taking a nosedive. For example, an expectation of something always going wrong in life will ripple out in our looking for things that affirm this expectation. This is looking for the other shoe to drop because things are too good in life and expecting something bad to happen. The ripple effect will color our eyes to look for the wrong. Life does not have to be lived in this type of ripple effect. Let's try this instead. When expectations ripple toward worst thinking patterns, we need to interject the polar opposite. For example, you purchase a newer home, and you find a dripping leak in a pipe. Instantly, your mind starts thinking of the whole house flooding and not being able to afford the repair. The polar opposite of this thinking is, I will turn of the main water valve and call a plumber asap. I will worry about this once the plumber gives me an estimate. This will interrupt the ripple and help you to problem solve. It is unrealistic to think that you know how the future will turn out when you are not even there yet. Let's practice having our unrealistic worst thinking ripple interrupted.

09/11/2025

Does a bad hair day make you moody with a big side of attitude? One mishap or frustration does not need to affect the rest of your day. Mood and attitude are the result of our inner expectations. Perfectionism, always expecting the worst-case scenario, and if something bad can happen it will happen are all expectations of daily life. Expectations like these will cause a sour mood, being easily irritated, and an attitude of self-pity. If you find yourself in this position with your expectations, there is hope. First, start to reframe your mind by looking for one somewhat good thing no matter how small it is. Then, go tell someone about that one small thing. Repeat these simple steps over and over throughout the day. In order for our expectations to change, we need to reframe our mindset. Refocusing on what is going right in our day, instead of continually expecting something bad to happen takes repeated practice. Then when something bad does happen, it is a little bit easier to handle then going down a dark rabbit hole of thoughts that affect our mood and attitude.

09/09/2025

When our expectations are realistic, then life can be filled with more truth, joy, and peace. This is only possible when we take a moment to think about what are your thoughts about a situation, person, or self. For example, It is your first time having a family holiday dinner. You are rushing around frantically trying to clean, organize, and cook for your guests. All the while, you are frustrated, angry, and anxious. STOP! Ask yourself, what is MY expectation. If you are expecting everything to be perfect and ready on time and it's affecting your peace, then there maybe a unrealistic expectation of self. Instead, ask yourself what is a more realistic expectation to focus on instead of trying to control the outcome. A more realistic expectation maybe to let go of a few things so you can maintain more peace. Delegating some of the things that need to be done to other family members. It is unrealistic to expect yourself to impress family and relatives. Circumstances are affected by our expectations. Let us learn how to have realistic ones that help us keep our internal joy and peace.

09/08/2025

09/06/2025

It's time to start checking in on your life expectations. Did you know that if you enter a circumstance with a realistic, balanced, and connected thoughts/beliefs, that you will experience more joy and peace? It is quite the opposite when that same circumstance is met with fear, anxiety, and cynicism. We will take a deep dive into what all this means.

09/04/2025

This month's focus will be on our expectations in life. So stay tuned.

08/26/2025

Am I good enough the way I am? Will I measure up to others? These are types of hidden fears within our thoughts. No one ever talks about these, but there are signs that can be seen. For example, you may notice that someone repeatedly apologizes for actions that don't need one or constantly helping others and getting frustrated with them for their neediness. You could be a dime living like a penny. Life is tough and can rough us up a bit. Life can mess with our view of self where we can mistake ourselves for a penny, when really, we are a dime. In order for our lives to be lived with authenticity, we need to know our true value. First, we need to stop the comparison game within our thoughts. Second, we need to define our gifts, talents, and abilities. Last, we need to start using these gifts, talents and abilities. We are able to recognize our true worth when we discover our true inner self. You are not a dime a dozen. You are a dime in a dozen of pennies. KNOW YOUR WORTH.

08/23/2025

Everything in life can have two different meanings based on what one's mind fixates on. When you are outside enjoying a nice sunny day in your backyard, what is your first thought when you see w**ds in your yard? Do you instantly regret going outsides because now you have to go to work and pull them before multiplying and then the neighbors will be mad because the w**ds will get in their perfect no w**d lawn. This is called fearing another's judgments. Instead of welcoming a different meaning such as these w**ds are just pollinators for the bees and helpful for your garden, your mind jumps to fearful thoughts. There is a need to control others' opinions of us. It may be due to struggling with people pleasing but it is rooted in fear. Fear that we will look less than in another's eyes. Before jumping to a fear thought or action, ask yourself if there is any other way to think and view a situation. Maybe, after some practice, the next time you go out on a sunny day to enjoy your yard and see a w**d like the one pictured, you will pick that w**d and make a wish instead of experiencing fear. Fear MUST be challenged in order to overcome it. This is a wish or fear type of challenge. Give it a try.

08/21/2025

We all have events in our lives that produce fear. Think back to the things that scared you as a child. These events can be remembered in vivid detail even today. This fear may still be present, but not as visible. One way, to use this past fear filled events, is to build a fear memorial. The memorial is a ledger of all the ways fear events have turned out. For example, fear was triggered when the company you work for starts talking about closing. On the fear memorial, record how this event ended. Maybe the company did not close, and you are still working there. If the company closed, record any positive outcome that occurred. In looking back at past events that caused fear, and its outcome will help in the midst of current fear events. It will remind you of the times that you made it through fear. The emotion of fear is something to be processed and not avoided. So, take some time to think back and record the positive outcomes of the things that triggered fear.

08/19/2025

When we get caught in a torrential rain of fear, the first thing we do is important. The action to run for shelter, grab an umbrella, wait until the rain lets up, or dance out in the rain are a few choices. Most of us will run for shelter to protect the mind from fear. Walls are constructed to prevent fear from overwhelming us. Some will reach for an umbrella because they are aware of what things trigger fear within. They have learned to carry an umbrella when life situations become rough. The umbrella is used not just to prevent fear from overwhelming them but also to be able to stand firm. Many will just simply wait until the fearful thing or event begins to subside before moving. But what would it be like to have a torrential rain of fear and be able to dance in it? Fear triggers fight or flight response within the nervous system. It is a protective mechanism but can get stuck on repeat after a traumatic event. Ask yourself, what is the first thing I do when fear gets triggered in me? All the above choices are positive but only one can seem impossible when afraid. Dancing in the rain of fear. This is only possible when we allow self to go through a process step by step. First, identify the walls we have built to protect from fear. Second, identify everything that triggers your fear. Third, look for tools to help remove walls and allow you to stand in the fear. Last, practice, practice, practice until when triggered, you are strong enough to choose to dance in the rain of fear. A life coach can help you in this process and practice. Give the Women's Center a call at 815-513-5729

08/16/2025

If you see mountains in this picture, than maybe you are in the in the middle of something that is creating immense fear. This is a picture of a log with small mounds on it's branch. Fear when triggered can magnify everything around us. Everywhere we look all there are giant mountains of fear. When fake or false evidence starts to appear real, we need a perspective shift. So take a moment and pause. Start with asking yourself this simple question, What do I see? Then, go find a trusted person and ask them what they see. This is called challenging your perspective. When we are able to think fear through aloud with someone, the mind shift from fear to more logically thinking. Instead of only seeing mountains, they start to shrink to manageable mounds. If you would like to have a perspective shift, give a life coach a call. You will find a trusted person to help.