First Sip Counseling, LLC

02/08/2023

It’s Valentine’s weekend and many people are feeling the pressure to be “romantic”.
Whether you’re in a committed relationship, talking to people, unsure of your status, or happily (or unhappily) single, take a moment to remember that there shouldn’t be just 1 day dedicated to love.

What does love mean to you? How do you show/receive affection and appreciation? Is it through gifts or words? Kind acts or quality time? Remember that partners aren’t the only people who deserves your kindness, quality time & treats; this is a perfect opportunity for you to focus on YOU.

What makes you happy? What kind words can you say to yourself? Have you checked in with yourself lately to see what your needs are?

Maybe instead of placing pressure to create the picture perfect date for your partner, you use the day to buy yourself something you have been eyeing, make yourself a card, look at yourself in the mirror and say a few inspiring words back, or spend some time doing your favorite thing. You may find that you’re great company!

Self-care & self-love aren’t selfish.

01/18/2023

A gentle reminder that self care isn’t selfish. You can’t provide for others when your needs are under met.

Challenge yourself to do 1 thing just for YOU this week. What would that feel like? What might that look like? It may feel odd or even wrong (enter, guilt) but it’s well deserved and necessary, even, to keep up with what you are already doing to serve those in your life that you love. ☕️

01/07/2023

It’s a week into the new year.
It’s time to think about the changes you want to make this year.
What steps will you take to make yourself healthier? To hold yourself accountable?

As you reflect on some of the spaces where last year may have humbled you, leave room for new growth, opportunity and hope.

Water those seeds 🌻

01/06/2023

Read it, and then read it from the bottom up.

There is beauty inside of you that matters.

01/01/2023

Often for those who struggle with anxiety & depression, the thought of a new year brings more dread than possibility. Loved ones may either feel a renewed sense of frustration that “you’re STILL like this!?”, or may begin to withdraw if they recognize that nothing has changed even with the tides of the new calendar date.

It’s never too late for change. Reaching out for help can benefit you in ways you never knew. You can learn how to set healthy boundaries in your life; something that is needed in all relationships but particularly with those who have experienced trauma. You can begin to process grief, and begin to regain your power.

If you have already done some of this work, and are looking to further understand how to find your strength and resilience after trauma, there are only a few spots left in my Psychoeducational Trauma Recovery Group, “Stregthen Yourself”.

Email support@christiehowleylcsw.com for information.

Wishes for a healthy and peaceful new year 🤍

12/30/2022

Every year many of us make a deal with ourselves, a promise that we will do something more or less than the year before, dream bigger, be better, get stronger or richer. Sometimes they may come true for you, maybe not. If you’re like me, you get frustrated around January 5, stop altogether around the 12, and begin to emotionally beat yourself up around February.

And why? This year, maybe skip the big goals and focus on something much smaller, but much more important. Self care.
No, I don’t only mean spa days & mani/pedis, as nice as that sounds. I mean setting small, attainable goals for you to have time for yourself each day, or building in things that will benefit your wellness.

🌙 I am going to try to get more restful sleep.
📱 I am going to try for less screen time
🌱 I am going to take 5 minutes to myself in the car before I enter my home each day after work.
🫙 I am going to try to drink more water.
📕 I plan to spend a few minutes a week reading something for enjoyment.

Most self care items don’t cost money, just time & comitment to your well-being. Making yourself a priority can massively benefit not only you, but those around you who rely on you each day.

There’s no time like today! ⭐️

12/24/2022

Sending healing thoughts to those who struggle to find peace & enjoyment during the Holiday season. To those who are dealing with loss, trauma or simply feel as thought they are struggling to get through the day, you are seen.

Make space for these people in your life. Offer a seat at the table. Send a text, call, invite them over. Respect that they may decline and refrain from suggesting that they “smile, it’s the Holidays!”

Everyone deals with emotions differently & not everyone shows their pain the same. It’s all valid and it’s all real.

Gentle Holidays to you all.

12/23/2022

As we enter into winter break for schools, the last few nights of Hanukkah and the week of Christmas and New Years, it's important to recognize that the Holidays aren't filled with warmth and family for everyone. For those with family trauma and loss it can be a reminder of pain and present difficult decisions over where and with whom to spend time.

Write it down. Journaling can be a great way to express your emotions in a safe & private way. Online/virtual journals or even Apple Notes are a good option for those who prefer technology over paper/pen.

Find a safe space. It may not be your own home, and it's hard to realize that. Sometimes your safe space is an emotional one that you seek refuge in; sometimes it's a physical one. Wherever it is, take time to go there and find peace with yourself.

Set boundaries. You don't owe anyone anything! Take inventory of what your personal boundaries are with family, friends, obligations, etc., and make it clear to those you will be with. Upholding your boundaries is a constant journey but one that's worthwhile.

Wherever you are in your healing journey, wishing you a safe, peaceful and joyous Holiday season. May you find something to smile about.

12/16/2022

Funny, but also partly true!

Until recently, "therapy" has been a shameful, dirty word spoken by people who "needed help". Our profession was believed to be for those who suffered from mental illnesses of the worst kind, and mental health was not a common or shared issue. In many cultures, religions or generations, mental health "doesn't exist" and isn't supported.

Since COVID, mental health has become a "buzz word", and it is finally becoming recognized for what it is; healthcare.
Mental health includes our emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It affects how we think, feel, and act. The same way you would go to your GP or dentist for a routine check, mental wellness needs routine care as well. Making time for self-care, incorporating mindfulness, deep breathing, a simple ten minute exercise routine.

And much the same way you would schedule an appointment with your dentist for an impacted tooth or bloodwork for a physical health issue, reaching out to a clinician when you're struggling with overwhelming emotions, thoughts and feelings is keeping your mind and body safe and healthy too.

So take time to check in with yourself.
🌱 How are you feeling, 1-10? What feelings come up for you?
🌱 Do a quick body scan. Where are you feeling tension, pain, heaviness?

Remind yourself that it's OK to not feel ok all the time, but that you deserve wellness. And it's ok to remind those in your life, even those that "don't think therapy is for them", that even they may need a little support too.

12/12/2022

I don’t like when my clients say they’re “broken”. Broken implies there is something wrong with them. That they need to be fixed. Still, it’s about their perspective and if saying that they feel “broken”
Helps them see progress as they begin to improve, I remind them that nothing has to stay broken forever and that even “broken” pieces can be used to create something beautiful again.

12/10/2022

Sometimes unprocessed trauma and pain can present as irritability and anger, but it can be directed towards people who are your biggest champions and are likely undeserving of it. If you’re recognizing that you are directing these feelings toward loved ones without meaning to, you may be feeling shame, and anger with yourself which creates a dangerous cycle.

Trauma focused therapy can help. It’s never too late to reach out or to share with someone who may need support.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/christie-howley-cedar-knolls-nj/998581