02/07/2022
Today marks 6 weeks! 💔 Not a day goes by that I don’t think of Hallie. Not a day goes by that she isn’t missed more than words can say and loved even still. Not a day goes by without me still wanting to call her phone or send her a message but breaks my heart even more knowing I’ll never get an answer or reply.
For those that couldn’t make the service this was what I spoke. I hope that maybe even one person reading this today with find some sort of peace in knowing that’s it’s ok not to always be ok. That it brings you if even a moment of comfort. For that’s what Hallie was to a lot of us - a source of peace and comfort and love and so much more!
**********************************************
I wish I could see you one more time
Come walking through the door
But I know that is impossible
I will hear your voice no more
I know you can feel my tears
And you don't want me to cry
Yet my heart is broken because
I can't understand why someone
So precious had to die
I pray that God will give me strength
And somehow get me through
As I struggle with the heartache
That came when I lost you
ANGER. SHOCK. DISBELIEF. SADNESS. FEAR. GUILT. EMPTINESS. NUMB. BLAME. YEARNING. PAIN. HEARTACHE. OVERWHELMED. MOURNING.BROKEN.
All are feelings we have all experienced at some point since Hallie’s passing and will continue to experience unfortunately. All are feelings in the grieving process.
Grief never ends, but it changes. It’s a passage not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor lack of faith…It is the price of love!
Matthew 5:4 says:
Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted.
Psalm 147:3 says:
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
I know that it is hard to want to trust and rely on the same God that took Hallie away from us but that is what faith is and that is what God asks of us. He doesn’t want us to only trust and believe in Him and thank Him when life is going good because as we all know it can change in an instant. He doesn’t want us to hide in our feelings of anger, disappointment, doubt or pain. He already knows them. It’s in these times of uncertainty, trouble and heartache that it is really important for us to rely on our faith in Him and He will carry us through.
Peter 5:7 says:
Cast your anxiety on Him because He cares for you
Psalm 56:8 says:
You keep track of all my sorrows
You have collected my tears in your
On behalf of Hallie’s family I would like to thank everyone for your support, the gifts, your prayers, the encouragement, and your love - for our family and most important - our Hallie. Thank you for following her journey and being a part of life.
HALLIE JOSEPHINE REYNOLDS
SEPTEMBER 16, 1993 - DECEMBER 27, 2021
The Dash
Placed between the years you live
From the beginning - to the end
That is the time we are given on earth
So live it well my friend.
H~happy
A~adventurous
L~loveable
L~loyal
I~inspiring
E~energetic
J~joyful
O~original
S~strong
E~easy going
P~passionate
H~hardworking
I~independent
N~natural
E~encouraging
R~radiant
E~endearing
Y~youthful
N~noble
O~outgoing
L~lively
D~devoted
S~spontaneous
Last week I reached out to family and friends for words that describe Hallie using the letters in her name. There are so many words we all came up with - if I used them all we would have to use a lot more letters in spelling her name. (laugh) For these words when we hear them, speak them and read them will make us think of her and our cherished memories. To quote the well loved Winnie the Pooh: Piglet asks “Pooh-How do you spell love? To which Pooh replies “ you don’t spell it, Piglet, you FEEL it.” As Hallie’s mom, my Aunt Susan said it best, to know Hallie was to love her.” Looking around this room today is evidence of that. Hallie loved “her people” and I know that she is smiling on us today seeing everyone “her people” gathering together. Laughing, crying, telling stories about her life.
Growing up I never had a sister, only two older brothers and I love them dearly, but we didnt get to share clothes or do each other's hair or talk about boys - Those kinds of things. Even though Hallie was my cousin, she always felt more like a sister. And though we didn’t get to see each other every day or as often as I’ll always wish we could have, each of us knew the other was never more than a phone call or text message away. I always looked forward to seeing her silly snapchats or tiktoks and seeing or hearing about her crazy and fun adventures! There were times when Hallie had a break from school or work she would drive down to visit whether for the weekend or an entire week. Hallie valued her relationships with her family and friends.
Hallie told me on a FaceTime call we had in the hospital one time how much she loved me and how she always knew I would always be there for her and she was so thankful our relationship was more like sisters than cousins and I told her the same. I will always be extra thankful that moment we shared. On another FaceTime call before Christmas I was showing her our Chrstmas tree. She laughed because she noticed the artwork on our wall behind the tree that one of my little girls drew for us. I then proceeded to show her that every wall in our house has “artwork” including the beautiful paint handprints on one of the bedroom walls and talked of how we would just paint our home after the kids grew a little older. She laughed and told me not to paint the walls and that I should frame the handprints. She told me just to laugh because I would miss these moments. To which I replied oh Hallie, I’m laughing on the inside. Since her passing, there have been a few times when life got crazy or the day just wasn’t going well and I can “feel” her telling me to just laugh Lean. Just make the best of it. Now, more than ever, I am going to do my best to embrace and enjoy the moments - the happy, the sad, the crazy because she is absolutely right…I am going to miss them just as I already miss the moments with her. Those moments will forever be memories that have turned to treasures.
The other day I was driving in my car and this song came on the radio. “What If” by Matthew West. As I was listening to the lyrics it spoke to me. Some of the lyrics go like this...
What if today's the only day I got?
I don't wanna waste it if it's my last shot
No regrets, in the end
I wanna know I got no what ifs
I'm running till the road runs out
I'm lighting it up right here right now
No regrets, in the end
I wanna know I got no what ifs
And towards the end of the song he sings…
I'm gonna dream a little bigger
Burn a little brighter
Stand a little taller
Even though Hallie’s life was cut short at just 28 years, I feel like she lived her life to the absolute fullest. No what ifs? She saw the best in every person and loved with her whole heart. She made the most out of every moment, every memory, life was her adventure. I want to challenge each of us that were blessed enough to know Hallie to live and love like she did! Make the most out of that “dash” between our dates because we never know when our end date will be.
There are some people who bring a light so great to the world that even after they're gone, the light remains. Hallie was and is that light! It may seem a whole lot dimmer now but we’ve got to keep her light shining. To quote again Winnie the Pooh “How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard” so Hallie I won’t say Goodbye, but see you later! OWL love you forever and miss you always!
We thought of you with love today
But that is nothing new
We thought about you yesterday
and the days before that too
We think of you in silence
We often speak your name
All We have are memories
And your picture in a frame
Your memory is our keepsake
With which we'll never part
God has you in His keeping
We have you in our heart
