01/04/2026
How it feels when time seems to fold in on itself…
I was in the kitchen getting Phoenix and Fen’s dinner. I turned from the sink to get Phoenix’s bowl on the other side of the room, and as I did, I glanced toward the dining room, and in the doorway, I saw a shadowed, fluffy face peeking at me. I knew by feel that it wasn’t Phoenix or Fen, but I walked to the front of the house anyway, where Fen was asleep in the hall, and Phoenix was asleep in the gentleman’s parlour. D was sitting the couch, and I told him what happened. I was a little shaken, and I felt that I might not have articulated it properly to him, so I returned to the kitchen, finished getting their dinner, and after I called them into kitchen, I opened up my photo album and started quickly scrolling through the thumbnails to see if I could find a picture of Smoky standing in the dining room doorway. He usually did that when I was in the kitchen… he’d stand there and wait for me, usually yapping, until I came back to sit with him in the parlour.
I saw a photo that looked like what I might be looking for, so I clicked on it to enlarge it. After confirming that it was what I wanted, my eyes were drawn up to the date. I had taken it exactly one year ago, today. There’s nothing special about this date that I call recall, but I felt my heart crack open, and a flood of emotion came out. It was a good half hour before I could stop crying completely. Then I sat and thought about it. The most meaningful “appearances” don’t necessarily happen on a noteworthy date, but when you least expect them. And where Smoky is concerned, every minute of every day is *special*, because he is.