Permission Slip Parenting

Permission Slip Parenting Connection, clarity + confidence stem from getting real about your parenthood journey.

The Permission Slip Parenting ™ 12 week journey will contain everything you need to gain awareness, learn powerful tools and get expert guidance from Victoria herself. Every week you’ll be part of a live discussion and unpacking of a module, which you can join from your computer, tablet or mobile phone from the convenience of any place you find yourself in the world (I suggest your comfy couch, but anywhere will do).

Hey there!Things are shaking up and I have a BIG UPDATE! As you may have seen and caught on, I am expanding my world to ...
07/26/2023

Hey there!
Things are shaking up and I have a BIG UPDATE!
As you may have seen and caught on, I am expanding my world to include providing more support to rising therapists who are interested in cultivating practices that are sustainable and help them AND their clients THRIVE.

Clients, Parents, Couples, Teens, Kids:
Growing Kind Minds LLC continues to be the name and home of my private practice, the place that you can go to look on past shares and look forward to more nuggets of gold for you and your family.

I am adding a new space Dr. Victoria Grinman here on FB to gather therapists looking to grow and expand. We will get real about what it means to create, sustain and grow a value-based therapy practice that not only works, but helps you and client THRIVE.

I love my clients and feel so privileged to join their journeys to wellness and healing. I am also feeling just as blessed and grateful to be a mentor to so many therapists that have made the choice to invest in themselves and create practices that work for them and the people they support for years to come.

I am always available to be reached here and on victoriagrinman.com. I can't wait to connect with you!!!

Dr. Victoria Grinman

Remember when Nintendo games used to freeze up and we’d have to pop the game out of the console, blow on it and shake it...
01/06/2023

Remember when Nintendo games used to freeze up and we’d have to pop the game out of the console, blow on it and shake it a few times to get it to work? (I know I’m giving away my age…). Our nervous systems need that kind of shake down too from time to time. My favorite ways to reset involve moving my body by taking a walk, jumping on a rebounder mini-trampoline), dancing to the length of one song, and playing with my dog. Put on a jam, pull your kids in and have a dance party :) Xoxo, Dr. V

While for the newbie meditator, breathing strategies may seem a bit “simple”, actually becoming aware of and practicing ...
01/05/2023

While for the newbie meditator, breathing strategies may seem a bit “simple”, actually becoming aware of and practicing your breathing has major benefits, inducing the parasympathetic nervous system in charge of rest and digest and calming the sympathetic nervous system that is responsible for you being in flight-flght-freeze-fawn mode. My favorite techniques support the elongation of your exhale. Breath in for 3, hold, slowly breathe out for 6. It's that simple! Xoxo, Dr. V

Take time for yourself away from your child, even if it is 5 or 10 minutes a day.  Set an alarm to wake up before your k...
01/04/2023

Take time for yourself away from your child, even if it is 5 or 10 minutes a day. Set an alarm to wake up before your kids or stretch the day a bit later and carve some time out for you. Are you already doing this? Drop a comment and let me know how it helps, I love hearing from you :). Xoxo, Dr V

The best way to help children coregulate is to take the time you need to focus on yourself. Many parents feel that it is...
01/03/2023

The best way to help children coregulate is to take the time you need to focus on yourself. Many parents feel that it is inherently selfish to do so...but after almost two decades of working with thousands of families, I assure you - not focusing on meeting your own needs is not only unsustainable, it is counterproductive. Stay tuned for small ways to prioritize yourself and never hesitate to reach out to me...shoot me a DM, drop a comment - I love talking about this stuff...xoxo, Dr V

When you experience your child throwing a tantrum or teen giving you attitude, it is natural to want to match the energy...
01/03/2023

When you experience your child throwing a tantrum or teen giving you attitude, it is natural to want to match the energy they are giving off as an attempt to neutralize the situation. But, what you really want to do is model the emotional regulation you want to see in them.

It starts with you and with working on your own capacity and skill to regulate your emotions. No matter what goes on outside of you, you have a point of focus that is aligned with what you are creating (a loving environment, a safe moment to feel, an opportunity to grow). When you model your own calm and ability to regulate yourself, kids experience it by seeing you do it for yourself while also feeling the impact of your action. And let me be clear - kids crave an environment that they can be themselves in, feel safe in and explore their emotions inside of.

When kids see you taking responsibility for yourself, taking time out to regulate, repairing when it is appropriate, they then feel that they are then not responsible for you. They feel they are not responsible for anyone but themselves, and it gives them the freedom to focus on their behavior and how it impacts them and those around them. It takes focus OFF of: who they need to be to make someone else feel good or better, what they need to do to make someone calm, and it gives them permission to find ease in what they really want and need, and ask for it. Send me a DM to find out what this might look like for you in the current season of parenting you are in, I love hearing from you...xoxo, Dr. V

Happy New Year, I'm so happy you're here...xoxo, Dr. V :)
12/31/2022

Happy New Year, I'm so happy you're here...xoxo, Dr. V :)

I am taking an intentional break for the rest of this week to rest and restore for the New Year ahead...wish you all the...
12/29/2022

I am taking an intentional break for the rest of this week to rest and restore for the New Year ahead...wish you all the same! Xoxo, Dr. V

A child’s social-emotional development depends on their ability to regulate their own emotions.  Coregulation is a precu...
12/27/2022

A child’s social-emotional development depends on their ability to regulate their own emotions. Coregulation is a precursor to self regulation. Kids need to have experiences of coregulation with a trusted adult or caring figure in order to learn how to regulate themselves. Coregulation happens when an adult is able to regulate their own internal experience, and in doing so, has the capacity to create a safer and nurturing environment for the child to express, explore and feel.

If you want to chat more about this, DM me. I'd love to hear from you :)

"If my child was just a little bit more compliant, I would be more calm." Or... "I wouldn’t be so angry if he would just...
12/26/2022

"If my child was just a little bit more compliant, I would be more calm."

Or...

"I wouldn’t be so angry if he would just listen to what I ask him to do the first time."

Sound familiar? This way of thinking can even show up when we measure how good a parent or caregiver we are by how a child behaves on the outside.

This kind of external validation places you, the parent, in a victim role and your child in a position to have to meet your needs. In this scenario, you being a good parent or feeling OK is dependent on what your child does or does not do. When kids take on the responsibility to meet your expectations and needs, their focus shifts from themselves to you.

So what’s missing? Coregulation. The art of creating the opportunity for your child to be calm because YOU are calm. If this is new to you, don’t be hard on yourself. Many of us didn’t experience coregulation as kids. Instead, we experienced co-escalation with our parents and never learned how to self-regulate and soothe ourselves. Regardless of your past experiences, you have the information now to create a new way of being with your children that supports a healthy dynamic built on the foundation of trust, safety and love.

If this sparks something in you, feel free to reach out in the comments or shoot me a DM! I'm here to help :) Xoxo, Dr. V

Thank you for being a part of our life and journey at Permission Slip Parenting. Your support, engagement, love and cont...
12/24/2022

Thank you for being a part of our life and journey at Permission Slip Parenting. Your support, engagement, love and contribution have made all the difference. Wishing you a health, happiness and joy in the New Year.

When a top chef puts together a five course balanced meal, they carefully consider the ingredients prior to any cooking....
12/20/2022

When a top chef puts together a five course balanced meal, they carefully consider the ingredients prior to any cooking. So, why in the world would we not consider taking on parenthood without setting an intention for our mindset? In Carol Dweck’s book Mindset: The New Psychology Of Success, she talks about the growth mindset and the fixed mindset. Both are important to consider. The fixed mindset speaks to being attached to something going a certain way or an all-or-nothing approach. The growth mindset focuses on flexibility and openness to new ways of thinking and new perspectives. Choosing the mind-set is much like tuning your radio to the station you’re searching for. Consider that your mindset has a ton to do with how you experience this rollercoaster of a ride. Without being clear about the mindset you’re committing to, you mind as well be playing Russian roulette with your radio station on a long cross country trip. And I don’t know about you but…I’m pretty picky about my stations. As always, take what speaks to you, leave the rest. And if you change your mind, it’ll always be here for you when you’re ready. With love, Dr. V

Speak to your partner about the changes ahead. If you don’t have a partner on this parenthood journey, seek out others t...
12/19/2022

Speak to your partner about the changes ahead. If you don’t have a partner on this parenthood journey, seek out others to connect with about the ways in which your life will change as a result of having a child. If you’re about to have a baby, set time aside to do so. If you have a second on the way, set time aside to do so. If you have a middle schooler going into their next life phase… set time aside to do so. There is no “graduation day” from parenthood. As your kids grow, so do you. At every stage. It’s imperative that you address how you wish the journey to look, what you expect and what your hopes, dreams, worries and fears are about being a parent, how it will change your routine/life/goals, and what your ideas are about how this new role of “parent” will impact your current life as you know it. Parents-to-be, new parents and seasoned ones don’t talk about the true feelings and thoughts that come up as easily as they discuss the excitement and joy. But, it’s important to note that stress and joy can coexist, and often do. Just because you have worries about being a parent does not mean you won’t enjoy every moment of it too. And just because you’re enjoying it now does not mean you won’t be struck by challenge later. Allow yourself to feel and express the whole range of emotions. Set the standard of this kind of sharing early on.

Having a baby is an exciting and nerve-wrecking time. A dear friend once shared with me that she was angry with her pare...
12/16/2022

Having a baby is an exciting and nerve-wrecking time. A dear friend once shared with me that she was angry with her parents for not telling her sooner what it was really like to have kids. To which they replied, “Had we told you…you would have never had them!” There is truth to this statement. Your parents, friends and family members probably want to share insights, tips and wisdom with you, but they need to know that you’re willing to listen. It’s important to set boundaries with overbearing loved ones, but when it comes to preparing for the journey ahead, staying open to the support and platform to share is just as vital. Keep your mind open to the possibility that you may not know everything, and that there is everything to be discovered. Parents of older kids, would this advice have helped you? Shoot me a DM or drop a comment below...I love talking about this stuff. Xoxo, Dr. V

I recently attended a baby shower for a dear friend. Call me strange - I’ve always really enjoyed them. I like being par...
12/16/2022

I recently attended a baby shower for a dear friend.
Call me strange - I’ve always really enjoyed them. I like being part of the process of the birth of a parent. The invite led to an online registry neatly marked with needed items- bibs, car seats, food prep, towels, blankets, clothing, baby books, pacifiers, bottles, diapers, changing stations, did I miss anything? By the end of the shower, my amazing friends were going to have everything necessary to bring this new sweet baby into the world. Right?

What I wish all parents knew is this: Your mindset and intentions for your parenthood journey are numero uno on the list of things that you need. Said another way - no amount of diapers, toys or baby books will prepare you fully for the beautiful (and long) journey of parenthood. Why? Because these things become obsolete as kids graduate to new developmental stages and you hit your own milestones in your role as “parent.” The only thing that’s here to stay is the setting you tune to as you drive down Parenthood Road.

I'm going to be sharing some gifts that don't make it on the registry this week but first - parents of older kids and teens - drop a comment below, what do you know now that you wish you knew then? Xoxo - Dr V

Here’s a tip for you:Mantra for THAT moment: this is an opportunity for me to breathe and connect more deeply with mysel...
12/14/2022

Here’s a tip for you:

Mantra for THAT moment: this is an opportunity for me to breathe and connect more deeply with myself and my kid. If you want to talk more about how to take in these tough moments with confidence, DM me. I love chatting about this stuff! Xoxo Dr. V

Parent involvement in supporting kids is important because they are the environment kids go back to every single time. P...
12/10/2022

Parent involvement in supporting kids is important because they are the environment kids go back to every single time. Parent's needs matter because if they're creating having a hard time and their needs aren't being met, they cannot--no matter how hard they try - sustainability show up effectively and compassionately for their child in times of need.

Ask yourself this every day:
👍🏽What do I need right now?
👍🏽Are my needs getting met?
👍🏽What do I need to do in order to get my needs met?

Checking in with YOU will make the process of being there for your child consistently that much more manageable.

What do you think? Please share and tag a parent who needs to hear this!🫶🏼

😆Parenthood is tricky. If you find yourself feeling like you don't know what you're doing, you don't feel like you know ...
12/09/2022

😆Parenthood is tricky. If you find yourself feeling like you don't know what you're doing, you don't feel like you know what the right thing is, you're second guessing yourself, comparing yourself, calling yourself names or cliticizing your skills.... it's because you lack confidence in this area of your life.

Before freaking out or panicking, remember this👇🏾: there is no handbook for what you are embarking on. Even if you've already raised a child, the second one is different than the first, and no one prepares you for the ups and downs of the journey you're on.

Building confidence in this area of life is possible, and if you have been successful at other things-work, relationships, planting a garden, getting a degree, learning to drive a car....YOU CAN do this. 🫶🏼

If you want to chat more about how to build the confidence in this part of life, DM me. I'd love to hear from you.

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