Full Clinical Member NJ Association for the Treatment of S*xual Abusers
Master's Degree, Clinical Social Work, Fordham University
Licensed Psychotherapist NY Lic # R059367-1
Licensed Psychotherapist CT Lic #10800
Mission
My mission is to provide superior assessment and treatment for persons who
1: Committed a s*xual offense, or broken a professional or personal boundary with a s*xual behavior.
2: Have NO illegal behaviors, but do have s*xual behaviors that some might call “addictive”.
3: Have committed NO s*x offense or s*xual boundary violation, but have urges, thoughts or concerning behaviors that may lead to committing a s*xual offense or boundary violation in the future.
The behaviors I treat persons for:
1: S*xual abuse of others, in any form, including child p**n, contact, or non physical contact, internet based or in person, and inside or outside the family system, and prosecuted or unprosecuted.
2: Legal behaviors that are consequential in some other sense, such as breaking of verbal or physical s*xual boundaries in personal or professional settings.
3: Entirely legal, but problematic s*xual behaviors such as compulsive p**n, infidelity, prostitution use, strip clubs, and massage parlors that the individual or his or her family may see as an issue.
This help I provide can take the form of treatment, evaluations for court, employers, or family, regarding s*xual behaviors by persons of either gender, over 12 years of age.
Why my results are superior to other “experts”.
I have specialized training in these exact behaviors, and over thirty thousand hours of providing direct face to face therapy to persons who acted these behaviors out. I have been skillfully treating people with s*xual offending and “addiction” and their loved ones for the past 23+ years, putting me in the absolute forefront of specialists in this field.
I have completed hundreds of risk assessments on persons who broke s*xual boundaries, s*xual offenders, “s*x addicts” and others with similar behaviors. I have trained other licenced mental health professionals, caseworkers, law enforcement personnel, Assistant District Attorneys and others related to the investigation and treatment of child and adult inappropriate behavior, “s*x addiction”, and s*xual abuse.
I have provided direct treatment services to clients entirely self referred to me as they wanted expert help, clients referred by other general mental health professionals who realized the client needed a specialist in these issues and that a generalist would not do, clients sent to me by County Departments Child Protective Services, County Probation, Federal Probation, State Parole, and Family Court.
I have successfully completed reunification of adult and adolescent in**st s*x offenders with their families, helped couples rebuild their relationships damaged by these behaviors and rebuilt extended family systems harmed by these behaviors.
I have worked with licencing boards in licensing a professional who acted out, by my helping create and describe the progress the client has made and why he or she should again be allowed back to fully licenced practice.
I have worked with employers to see to it that an employee learns how to reliably not act out, document this progress, and thus allow that employer to retain the skilled talent they need.
Throughout these years I have been accepted as an expert in criminal and family courts related to the assessment and treatment of s*x offenders as well as s*xually inappropriate behaviors.
I am not the average clinician you will see online, who without any irony, will list twenty disorders they are an “expert” at. Obviously no clinician can ever master treatment of twenty disorders, and for these clinicians to assert this mastery of twenty disorders is putting their desire for a full caseload ahead of a client’s need for skilled help, and ahead of societies need for safety from these behaviors.
I offer insights, knowledge and results that very few other clinicians, even in NYC, can provide. I help persons not only refrain from acting out, but I help them remake their life if they already did suffer the consequences of that acting out.
I also work on the extensive vocational, familial, emotional and social consequences of these behaviors create. I help the client work on fixing and or managing the underlying internal issues that helped them move towards these behaviors. My clients enjoy the resulting reduction of deviant s*xual behavior, intrusive thoughts, and a rebuilt life, sometimes better than the pre offense/addiction life.
I offer a discreet and supportive environment to accommodate every patients' unique needs and circumstances.
My models, views, insights and methods are not the made up out of thin air and unrecognized by actual experts “s*x addiction”, “s*xologist” or “pro s*x” ideas pushed by some “gurus” who simply made up a model.
I use tried and proven principles and methodologies taken from University studies, Medical studies, and research in the field of s*xual abuse and behavior, that have withstood time, peer review, competing models, and the additional scrutiny for me of my presenting all this under oath and hostile cross examination.
I am not a “coach”, “addiction specialist”, “s*xologist”, “art therapist” or one of the many other persons unqualified to provide treatment for these specific issues.
I do not do “Marriage Therapy” or “Couples Work”, other inappropriate types of treatment to deal with a behavior not in any way created by a marriage or a couple. I am an licensed and experienced expert psychotherapist who provides specialized s*x offender and or s*x “addict” therapy exactly how it should be done.
Treatment of non Offending and or non “addict” Partner:
I offer therapy for non-offending or non “addict” partner. This therapy is for partners of s*xual “addicts” or offenders where the client has not offended inside the family, therapy for parents of children who have been abused by the child’s parent/step parent, and therapy for parents of minors who have s*xually offended.
I help the offender or “addict” own their behaviors, admit distorted feelings, and see self centered thoughts on these matters, and all this is necessary to fix a relationship.
Discovering your partner's behavior can be a traumatic experience.
Why Marriage Therapy, Couples work and so on is contraindicated and not to be done until after the real treatment on the actual client.
The bottom line is I am an expert in treating couples in crisis due to these issues, these issues created by one person. Not two. In these circumstances, traditional couples therapy is vastly more harmful than beneficial. Couples therapy, or Marriage Therapy, for these behaviors makes that situation far worse, as it subtly, or not at all subtly, moves some responsibility for change off of the person acting out, onto the non acting out partner, who had absolutely no role in the creation of this issue. This erroneous model of “couples work” for this issue should be avoided.
The nonsense “Carnes Model” is good at partially redistributing a need for change onto partners, and away from the person acting out.
The relationship restoration process when done by actual experts is intense, and deals with some uncomfortable facts, and usually takes 6 months to over a year.
Referral by Attorneys, Employers, and Probation Officers.
If you have someone that needs treatment, please have them give me a call, whether they are in the pre-sentencing phase of their criminal case, or have already been convicted or took a plea.
Persons can be court mandated to treatment, mandated to treatment by family, or employer. I work with employers/EAP’s of persons who needs help in this area,
Referral by self
If you want treatment, simply call me. Treatment can be to stop these behaviors or thoughts before they create painful consequences for you. If you have already created consequences we can start on a path towards accepting yourself again, rebuilding your life, and reducing your risk of recreating these consequences again. Call me for an appointment. It will be very simple and straightforward to start with me.
Referral by family
If your partner, adult child, teen, or even parent has these behaviors, you can use any informal leverage you see fit to have them get help with me. I can provide an assessment to answer you or any referral source’s questions. These include, risk of future problematic s*xual behavior, safety around children, reunification with person victimized and what specific issue or diagnosis the person may have.
Consultations:
I offer consultation to any person or agency regarding any of the above issues.
“Personally unwanted s*xual attraction”:
Any clinician, licensed or not, who says they will help you with “personally unwanted s*xual attraction”, in other words a therapist offering to help rid you of an attraction towards adults of your same s*x, in other words helping you manage or abstain from being a homos*xual, is painfully ignorant regarding their field of study, and will, it has been proven, increase the clients risk of su***de.
I suggest all persons avoid clinicians who use the phrase “personally unwanted s*xual attraction” as a clinical issue, as it is a tell that they are not informed on these matters, and their model not only fails to work as intended, it reduces self acceptance and increases risk of su***de.
I do not work with, coordinate treatment with, or even communicate with, clinicians who use the phrase “personally unwanted s*xual attraction” as I know they are so ignorant they are literally going to get someone killed.
I do not indulge in denial, ever, not even for a fee, and I can help you accept whatever reality may be for you, and help you move on to a fulfilling and safe life. If you would like to engage in denial, and avoid change, please find a therapist via your HMO. I’m better than that.
“Allegations of s*xual misconduct”:
A person attends treatment with me because they engaged in some behavior that is not how they wish to act.
Any clinician, licensed or not, who says they will help you with “allegations of s*xual misconduct” does not know much, if anything, about treatment for these behaviors, and they are very likely to make your thinking, risk, behavior, and future consequences much worse.
You are not “alleged” to have done it. The reality is you either did it, or you did not do it. Please call me if you did some thing or things you wish you did not, and would like to change your thinking and behaviors. I’m an expert in helping people change their thinking and behaviors.. That’s what I do for people all day.
If you would like to stay the same, and feel the issue is other people and their “allegations”, well, again, that is what all those average therapists in your HMO plan are in business for.
I do not accept Insurance
I only take self pay. If you would like to use your health insurance, lesser clinicians with less experience, less insights, less skill and lesser results will be happy to take your insurance.
Please be aware of the fact that Managed Care is a system designed by healthcare insurance companies to increase stock share price, dividends paid to shareholders, and increase Healthcare Insurance CEO salary and bonuses, and your HMO was not in any way designed to improve your mental health treatment, nor was it created to see that your confidentiality is respected.
Fees
The session fee is $350.00.
You will be charged a prorated hourly fee for any report writing, telephone conversations lasting longer than fifteen minutes (which is rare), attendance at meetings with other professionals regarding your case, preparation of records for above.
In the exceptionally rare occasion I am called to testify on your treatment, you will need to prepay for all time, both waiting at court to testify as well as any time on stand, whether called by you, or any opposing party.
Please know, I will only attend court with a “so ordered subpoena”, and this is highly unlikely, and when it does occur, it is almost always because the client and his attorney wanted me to testify on the client's behalf.
Remember...I am not telling anyone you see me. If people know you see me, it is because you told them.
When is payment due?
It at each session.
What is the Cancellation Policy?
Scheduled appointments require a minimum of 48 hours advance notice for cancellation, otherwise you are expected to pay for the session despite not attending it.
How long are the sessions?
One hour.
Seeing your therapist out in the world or on social media
I will never acknowledge working with you without a signed release of information. In the very unlikely event you run into me in a social setting, it may be appropriate that I not acknowledge you at all, or if introduced by a third party, to act as if we never previously met. This is out of my tremendous respect for your confidentiality.
Please do not “friend” me on Facebook or other Social Networks, it is my job to “model” good boundaries for clients, and it would be poor boundaries on my part to accept a clients Facebook friend request.
If I need this help and I am not in the NY, NJ or CT area?
I offer telephone sessions
Why I use S*x “Addiction” in quotes.
S*x “Addiction” is not recognized as a disorder by the American Psychological Association (APA), American Psychiatric Association (APA), National Association of Social Workers (NASW), The American Medical Association (AMA) or any other legitimate professional organization.
S*x “Addiction” is not in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), the “bible” of mental health and looks likely that S*x “Addiction” will never have a DSM diagnoses code.
If the entire field of mental health has rejected the S*x “Addiction” model, and so will I.
Sadly, there is an abundance, especially in New York and Los Angeles, of pseudo “experts” on s*xual addiction (as opposed to the actual, proven, and very much real and recognized experts on s*xual offending and boundary violations).
These “experts” on s*xual “addiction” are best avoided. S*x “Addiction” treatment is not reimbursed by insurance, as even HMO’s realize the entire concept is made up, and the “experts” on s*xual addiction are far from skilled in dealing with these issues.
Most, if not all, of the fake “expert” clinicians use the “Carnes” model. I treat persons for these behaviors, but I avoid the erroneous S*x “Addiction” model.
The “s*x addiction treatment facilities” claim that illegal s*xual behaviors arse from s*xual addiction. Actual experts in these issues point out the fact there is zero evidence of this and it should not be asserted.
Debunking the so “s*x addiction” and the so called s*x addiction “experts” who use the Carnes model.
The title “Certified S*x Addiction Therapist (CSAT) and others, is not an indication a clinician has skill in this field, and in fact it is a fairly reliable indicator they do not know their trade.
Most clinicians who use a model or outlook derived from Partick Carnes (author Out Of The Shadows and Facing The Shadow), in writers experience, make s*xual abusers or “addicts” much worse than when they met the so called “expert” therapist.
The Carnes model is unsophisticated, does not understand where these behaviors come from, and among other problems, feeds into the addicts misconception that they are “out of control” when they were not “out of control”, in reality the addict was in control.
Much worse is that the erroneous model subtley but persistently feeds into the falsehood that the s*x “addict” is being victimized and “triggered” by an overly s*xual world, when in reality it is the addict who is overly s*xualized, not the world, and in reality the “addict” is projecting his or her own internal s*xual feelings onto the world.
This inversion of reality built into the Cranes Model has clients consistently being triggered, and consistently struggling to manage triggers created within themselves but experienced as coming from outside themselves.
I have yet to communicate with even one Carnes model clinician who had the most basic skills at dealing with these matters.
The clients I have received from these Carnes model therapists, after the Carnes Model “expert” has failed the client, needed great help in undoing the Carnes model nonsense and misconceptions instilled in the client.
It is actually easier to help an addict or offender who has never seen any therapist at all, than it is to fix the work a Carnes model clinician has done to a client.
The s*x “addition” certifications listed below are, in writers professional opinion, useless, they are not granted by state licensing, they are not granted by a university or college, they are not granted by any real Mental Health Professional organization.
They are granted by some pretend “expert” who makes money by giving some other unqualified person a certification, a certification that is not worth the paper it is printed on.
Certified S*x Addiction Therapist (CSAT)
American Association For S*x Addiction Therapy AASAT
Certified Addiction Specialist (CAS) S*x Addiction certification
S*x and Po*******hy Addiction Recovery Coaching (SPARC)
CCSAS (certified clinical s*x addiction specialist)
The s*x addiction model often uses an online s*xual addiction screening test. This test is useless as among other things it is an exercise in self “diagnoses”, which is not how actual disorders are diagnosed. Furthermore, it of course can label someone with a diagnosis that in reality does not even exist.
To exacerbate this issue the so called “experts” on “s*xual addiction” erroneously take clients with paraphilic disorders into treatment. These paraphilic disorders, such as voyeuristic, exhibitionistic, frotteuristic , masochism, pedophilic, fetishistic, and nonconsensual behavior disorders are wrongly placed in “s*xual addiction” treatment under the excuse that these behaviors often include s*xual obsession. The “s*x addiction” “expert” is then unable to adequately treat these, by definition, deviant behaviors as the “s*x addiction” model is based on addiction, not deviant s*xual interest, lack of consent, or cognitive distortions.
Sadly, this results in the client spending time and money on a disorder that does not exist and ends with the client not getting the help they actually need. After this “s*x addiction” psuedo treatment the client does not have the insights and skills that can help them change, and is more likely to have further misbehavior and consequences down the road.
These behaviors are created by a disorder, not an addiction.
1. The s*xual behavior is always created by a paraphilia, personality issue, mania, it is not an addiction.
2. The disorder is always progressive. It will get worse over time if it is not treated.
3. The disorders thinking and behaviors can affect all areas of the person's life, and these many areas often need addressing in treatment.
4. The cornerstones of treatment are confronting thinking that minimizes harm to others, minimizes harm to one's own situation, minimizes responsibility, moves responsibility for the behavior onto others or ones circumstances
Is There a Cure?
Recovery is a process of learning oneself, not an event, not a cure. Persons in recovery say they are recovering rather than recovered.
My Approach
I value each client, no matter the behavior that brings them to me, and I use all my skills in an effort to help them not act out again and to improve their lives. I help them change the distorted thoughts and feelings that created the issue, and use, among other things the “Good Lives Model” and addressing “Cognitive Distortions”.
I work to help the client set and reach goals that align with the client's abilities and needs. I work to correct the thinking that feeds deviant s*xual interests.
Societies Right To Safety
It is my goal that people can live without the fear of s*xual abuse, but I understand society will likely never reach this goal. That will not stop me from trying one client at a time.
