Growing Minds Psychology

12/14/2022

https://www.growingmindsnyc.com/blog/selective-mutism-demystifying-school-lingo

Understanding the special education system is challenging. When your child has selective mutism, it can be even more difficult to navigate. Knowing your rights and the lingo are important steps to making sure your child is able to access learning in school. Check out our most recent blog to learn more.

Since parents are the primary advocate for their children, it is important to understand what is available for children with SM, how to obtain those services, and which services are appropriate for your individual child. Here is an introduction to our “special education dictionary” to help you b...

10/01/2022

Please visit our virtual booth at the Selective Mutism Association annual conference for free materials!

05/18/2022

Finding yourself engaging in automatic negative thinking? Try taking a step back to challenge the validity of these thoughts. One way of doing so would be by asking yourself: “what would my best friend say about this?” Then, try talking back to your thoughts as if your best friend was talking to you. Taking a step outside of ourselves can offer a fresh perspective, allowing us to balance out the ways we view different situations.

05/11/2022

The type of question and number of questions a child asks gives us insight into whether they are asking our of curiosity or worry. When worry is the driving force, we call it reassurance seeking and it often looks like repetitive questions that have already been answered. Be mindful of how many of these questions you answer over and over because we want to show kids they can cope with their anxiety and the unknown. Every time we give an answer to a question they already know, we potentially communicate: you can’t handle the unknown and I need to help you. Instead, we might say something like: “You already know the answer to that question. I know you can handle this uncomfortable feeling.”

04/20/2022

When seeking a neuropsychological evaluation for a child with selective mutism, it is extremely important to ensure you are working with an expert in SM. Any evaluation should start with creating a comfortable setting in which kids can begin to use their voice. Slowly and systematically, the evaluator should join this comfortable setting and the parent will slowly remove themselves from the situation. Once the child is verbal in play, we can switch to assessment measures. This is similar to how a fade-in would be conducted in a school or social setting as well.

When using the fade-in technique, make sure to always consider the setting in terms of person, location, and activity. We thoughtfully change only one factor at a time to help kids be successful among verbal transitions and to help us notice where kids get stuck. If we change multiple factors at once, that question is very hard to answer!

If you have any questions about SM intervention or evaluations, reach out to our team of experts.

04/11/2022

When a child is avoiding homework or has trouble getting started, there may be more to it than lack of self-control or work ethic. Think about it this way: if a child could do something, they would. It is helpful to take a step back and investigate what skills are lacking that make it harder for them to take care of their assignments. It is possible that your child struggles in one of the following areas: 1. emotional regulation/balanced thinking, 2. task initiation, 3. resilience, or 4. asking for help. Check out our latest blog to see if your child can benefit from improving some of these skills.

https://www.growingmindsnyc.com/blog/addressing-homework-avoidance

04/06/2022

Giving our kids gifts is always fun, but remember that your presence is the greatest gift of all! Being present with your children will give you space to connect, understand, and problem solve. Think about 1:1 time as a daily dose of behavioral and emotional medicine for your child (and yourself!). These moments don’t need to be long (5-10 minutes a day is sufficient), but they do need to be consistent. Decide on a time each day that works for your family and focus on just play, positivity, and relationship building. Check in with yourself to see how it feels as the parent and ask your child the same. Chances are, everyone will love it!

03/30/2022

The language children hear is the language they learn to internalize. Be mindful to notice what your child does well through observation and/or praise statements, so they can begin to use that same language themselves. Challenge yourself to notice the resilience your child has demonstrated around difficulties to highlight that it’s not about life being easy, but how we deal with the struggles we inevitably face. That way, kids start to expect to manage expectations and know they can cope with the challenges of life, rather than giving up when things get hard.

03/28/2022

The first step in promoting resilience and self-esteem in children starts with how they speak to themselves about their own abilities, also known as self-talk. Parents have a tremendous influence on how children speak to themselves. By drawing attention to specific positive behaviors or qualities, parents can influence their children’s self-talk and can encourage resilience and socio-emotional growth.

https://www.growingmindsnyc.com/blog/helping-kids-develop-positive-self-talk

03/25/2022

When you have an anxious child, it can be really challenging to find the “right” level of support. The SPACE program helps families organize their behaviors by thinking in terms of accommodation and support. Accommodation is something natural to fall into as a parent because you do not want to see your child suffer and sometimes, you just need to get on with your day. So, instead of helping a child through the anxiety, we move around it. That may mean answering for a child with selective mutism or driving a child to school because they are afraid of the bus. We need to be careful that we do not do this all the time or we fall into overprotection mode. On the other side of the continuum is the over-demanding parent who may tell a child to just “move on” or “get over their anxieties.” This can leave a child feeling rejected and criticized. When families are high in accommodation and high in support, it can be confusing because a child is hearing they can handle their anxiety, but parent behavior is suggesting otherwise.

To give a consistent message that will help kids face their anxieties, we focus on decreasing accommodation and increasing support. This tells kids: “I know you can do it and I’m going to show you that I believe it.”

03/16/2022

Fostering resilience often means sitting with discomfort for both kids and adults. Patience shows your child that you are confident they can handle the challenges that come their way. When you use a supportive approach that makes suggestions or introduces ideas, rather than solving problems for them, kids start to see how they can be independent and solve problems on their own. This can be hard to weather in the short term, but is extremely helpful for kids (and parents!) in the long run. Consider what your words and actions communicate to your child and work towards communicating: “you can” rather than “I can.”