Anxious Attachment Warrior: Focus On The Solutions

01/31/2022

THE NERVOUS SYSTEMs Role in Anxious Attachment:

Hi Friends!

Free, powerful, life-changing resource alert:::

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mark-groves-podcast/id1282044290?i=1000548221372

my two cents:

Knowledge is Power. Understanding what is happening within your body, specifically, your Nervous system, is emPowering.

The part of you built to PROTECT you is strong my friends. When our caregivers were not attuned, this meant our nervous system went into protection (survival) mode. Today our body reacts to our adult relationship the same way we reacted as chldren and babies in order to survive. The issue is, IT'S NOT THE SAME SITUATION. This protection (survival) mode is based on a Past traumatizing event, surrounding primary caregivers and the helplessness we experienced as little ones. NOT on what is happening at the moment - the person taking too long to text you back, or ghosting you, or breaking up with you { INSERT personal TRIGGER }.

It's our role as adults to learn and understand this when we're in a regulated place, so that when and if we are presented with a triggering situation, we can take that pause and act out of THE Present, not the past. Start to rewire that reaction.

This podcast does an amazing job breaking down what is happening with our nervous system and, vital to growth; the how to work with our nervous system.

Listen, take notes, discuss it with your therapist, your coach, your friend, journal about it, integrate this, and become aware of your own body's daily responses.

Grow, heal, level up!

NOTE: This is a lifelong practice. Not a magic pill. Crucial to healing

‎Society & Culture · 2022

12/27/2021

SO wonderful to see the group keep growing.

This is a safe place to express what's happening and I'm happy to provide ✨ free ✨ resources and support.

Simply because I want to.

I'm NO longer taking 1:1 clients, I just want to provide a support system because I know how much it helped me 🙏

So tip of the day! 🌟

For today, no matter where you're at, I urge you all to focus on the positive with the following powerful and simple excercises:

🧚‍♀️
Morning: In the morning list 3 things, you are grateful for.

Night: In the evening look back on your day and list 3 WINS.

PSA!!! It's a PRACTICE 🧚‍♀️

You don't just go to the gym once and think you're set for life. You have to keep going to maintain and grow your physical health.

🧚‍♀️Try and do it for 7 days straight🧚‍♀️

🧚‍♀️ Just like how we can obsess and hyper-focus on one person 🤢 We can train our brain to focus on the good in our life, which I guarantee there is plenty of 💕

Sending Love!

Feel free to comment below on how this works for you
👇👇👇

08/30/2021

👐 Anyone else here superstitious? 👐

💕 True story, I was triggered. I went through an anxious dark night (okay more than one) and stepped away from this group.. . A group that I created to HELP others. To turn misery into meaning.💕

I admit I was scared that by focusing on this I was DRAWING it into my life!

🌝 While manifestation is real, this was letting the AA win. The truth is I am here to HEAL and facilitate healing.

✨ That said, it's crucial to turn our mind-chatter and primary focus on that which we DO want to call into our lives.

✨ Like what?

✨ Well to start, Goals! Emotional goals, physical goals, mental goals.

✨ When we call that in and work on strengthening these muscles our subconscious starts to look for evidence to pull them into our lives.

💫Fear of abandonment is a real and misunderstood phobia. Just as real as for example, heights when one is standing at the edge of a bridge because it's based on survival.

✨ As children, if we were abandoned we would well... die!

✨ While we are no longer in this danger as adults but our subconscious sets off this alarm in situations that no longer need this alarm (say a new relationship).

✨Let's take this opportunity to activate our CONSCIOUS minds to choose the reality we want.

✨But first, What is that reality?

💫 That reality is that you are fine. You are Safe. You are loved. And absolutely no one determines your worth. You don't have to DO anything to receive love. Your beingness is MORE than enough to receive love. You are just as human and deserving as anyone.💫

Does this resonate? Let me know!

Let's discuss together how to deeper integrate these TRUE beliefs so that your mind can finally attract in that reality and not the reality of the old trauma ✨💕

08/28/2021

Follow this unicorns advice.

08/27/2021

✨ My little AA Warriors!

✨ Let's discuss the joy (or hell 🙈 ) of dating. Because. . . Dating with an anxious attachment style is well, TRIGGERING AF.

✨ These are the cards you were dealt sure, but your anxious attachment style is NOT WHO YOU ARE and certainly does NOT need to run the show.

💕 ACTION ITEM: Sometimes we only deal with the triggers ONCE THEY ARISE...This is a mistake.

💕 At this point, our nervous system is activated and we are deep in survival mode.

💕 There ARE effective strategies and practices to put into place well before your system is activated - with a calm and clear headspace.

💕Just to name a few 💕

🌟 Clarity on your own needs with yourself
🌟 Partner Must-haves and Can't-haves
🌟 Self-soothing techniques
🌟 Detachment
🌟 Expressing your needs
🌟 A dating "strategy" and plan including BOUNDARIES

NOTE: I know, I know this one goes against what typical advice says, just do what your heart wants! WELP, how has that worked out for us?

💕 for those with anxious attachment style once we're attached it's almost impossible to get the fork out once we see 1,2, or 10red flags ... so healthy boundaries are the name of the game 💕

07/18/2021

Who has had a small victory recently in anxious healing?

Some examples ~

👇Putting up a BOUNDARY - saying NO to the f*ckboy or gFal (okay not a nice word maybe just call them an "avoidant")?

🤌Putting together a PLAN?

corny line: if you don't plan, you plan to fail. We need this in anxious attachment healing when interacting with the relationship minefield.

👏AWARENESS - noticing that negative talk and moving away from it

☝️Some self-love and nurturance? Perhaps a meditation, words of encouragement, a daily affirmation

💪Asking for help.

🗣Celebrate your wins - that's what all winners do ❤

If you need some hands-on help and support I'm here you and offering 1:1 extra special priced sessions.

Feel free to slide into my DM's ✨

06/22/2021

My Story

SO….. My Story? K.
💕
Life was great. I had my career, lived in my dream location, even had the puppy I always wanted.
✨
However, there was one (very painful) sticking point.
👉
My tumultuous love life {and lack of awareness of how to heal the profound wounds creating the chaos}
👉
I did the work! I meditated, practiced yoga, and owned every self-help book on attachment style available.✨
Yet I still find myself in the same situations, you know . . .👉
Overwhelmed with anxiety when a current flame seemed to be pulling away.
🤕
Texted exes after promising I wouldn't (uhum after a night of drinking)
🙋🏻 🙈
Obsession about a significant others' behavior and what it meant about our relationship ...
👉
Fear that ** the ones that like me I don't "like" back and vice versa ** (FYI: F that it's not true)
😭
Turns out I was not alone!
😳
Turns out, when deep wounds (that actually have nothing to do with the other person) are triggered those of us with abandonment wounds go into
😵
My loves, If I can learn and apply the skills to work through this (and I have/AM) so can anyone!
✨
Guess what? The rewards are AMAAZING! And I'm happier then i EVER DREAMED I COULD BE!
🔥
The issue is our current coping skills simply NO LONGER SERVE US. We are READY TO EVOLVE PAST THEM! (Can I Get an AMEN!)
💕
The common denominator here is you (certainly not the current flame) - This is a good realization. This invites SELF-ACCOUNTABILITY, responsibility and that is the agency of change ❤
👏
I repeat... If I can do it - you can too!
👏
Do What? Well….

Promises
👏
REGAIN CONTROL OF LIFE!
👏
Not be taken out of peace by actions of some bozo (or bozette)!
👏
Have PEACE OF MIND!
👏
Experience a baseline of JOY!
👏
PEACE IN SOLITUDE, IN WHOLENESS OF SELF
🙏🏼
Only then can we invite a healthy loving SECURE romantic relationship. Cherry on top but my dear YOU are so much more than your relationship.
🌟
My loves, It is imperative you begin to take control over your emotions and YOUR life. NO TIME LIKE THE PRESENT!

My point? Invest in yourself. Get the support you deserve. Reach out for a complimentary session and let's find out if I can truly help you call in the peace and love your soul yearns for

06/11/2021

Hello Warriors!

Here to share some strategies on effective communication (this is important in romantic and otherwise) in relationships. . . .

You see when your attachment system is activated we often find our survival brains taking the reins.

Key to healthy partnerships - and healthy mind! - is learning a strategy to act from the adult self that is not based on anxious attachment fear.

Care to learn an extremely helpful step-by-step method for communicating with your partner? Reach out and I'll send you my free doc!

You Got This ! ~

06/08/2021

Fire article shedding some light on triggers . Now that you know
The WHAT: Check out some crucial questions to ask to gauge your potential partner's attachment style...

---> The WHEN! Just as important as what to ask is when. If you ask when you're attachment style has already been activated it will be way harder to see those flags for what they are....

Interested in learning more? Comment/DM and I'll send you some resources Xo

Classical conditioning and animal behavior explain complex avoidance patterns.

02/01/2021

Shedding some light on the triggers (avoidant partners...)

Classical conditioning and animal behavior explain complex avoidance patterns.

01/03/2021

Hi AA Warriors! Check out Some books on the topic below.
Drop a

12/31/2020

Obsessive Thoughts: They Suck. Here is a Free Step-by-Step Guide to stop 'em. Details in comment.