Akselrod Coaching - Helping You Get Out Of The Weeds

11/24/2021

Holidays can be difficult. Be kind to yourself. Make a plan. It’s ok if you “just” survive them.

11/11/2021

What does self care look like for you?

09/15/2021

Imagine you had a really bad day. You’re feeling completely burnt out and stressed at work, you’re fighting with your partner, you look in the mirror and all you see are insecurities and imperfections. You think: “I gotta do some “self-care”. So what do you do? Do you binge your go-to show? Pour yourself a drink? Play video games? Go on an Amazon shopping spree? Do you snack even though you’re not physically hungry?

If you paid attention to your body and your thoughts, what would you notice after doing this kind of “self-care”? Do you feel more empowered, re-energized, lighter? Or do you now feel hollow, numb, and detached?

My favorite quote about “self- care” is by Dr. Ronnie Siddique. She writes: “True self-care…is making the choice to build a life you don’t need to regularly escape from”. And that takes a LOT of work. Deep, challenging, often ugly and painful work.

▪️True self-care is working to break old, toxic patterns of thinking and behavior.
▪️It’s challenging yourself to get down to the root of your limiting beliefs and create new, empowering ones.
▪️It’s getting to know the REAL you – what excites you, what drives you, what brings you joy & energizes you – and learning to recognize the emotional cues without judgment and how to give those emotions what they need.
▪️It’s learning how to create healthy boundaries to build authentic, sustainable relationships.
▪️It’s investing in yourself and future you (like learning how to manage your finances, taking care of your mind & body, and constantly pushing yourself to grow).
▪️True self-care is working to accept and heal deep, old pains and break generational patterns of trauma.

We still need all of the indulgences I mentioned before. But when we try to use things like food, distractions, substances, shopping, or skincare to numb or escape the feelings we dislike, all we’re doing is rewarding those emotions and keeping ourselves stuck in that cycle.

If any of this resonated with you, then you’re the kind of client I’m looking for.

DM me for free resources & to find out how we can work together 💪🏼

09/03/2021

Let yourself enjoy things 🤷🏼‍♀️ you’re not a “quitter” for losing interest in something that at one point made you feel excited. There’s no rule that says you have to commit to something once you start it. Explore s**t.

07/13/2021

OMG I'm on a podcast!!!

https://whatsonyourmindjrpw.podbean.com/e/the-root-of-should/

Not that long ago, being a guest on a meaningful podcast was just a hint of a dream. I could see it, but only kind of. Mostly, I kept thinking “Who are YOU for someone you probably don’t even know to give you that platform?”. Imposter syndrome & self-doubt are never too far away.

When Jani (Jani Rad; IG: janirad.me) and I found each other (thank you IG), it was like something clicked – from our first conversation, it felt like we were old, dear friends. I was so drawn in by her passion, her vulnerability, her kindness & her intelligence and it was crazy how much we had in common. It was truly an honor and a joy to have been invited as a guest on her podcast What’s On Your Mind , and join the incredible guests and storytellers she showcases.

I’m so excited to share my episode with you all – we get into everything from the winding road that got us into the field of public health, to getting over past setbacks & “failures”, to how we discovered our passion for helping people let go of the “should”’s and embrace their story & their strengths.

Jani, you are a beautiful human inside and out. Thank you so much for giving me the space to talk about the things that make me want to wake up in the morning

04/30/2021

I talk a lot about the things I’ve learned in therapy, and here’s another one I want to share.

❗️You don’t HAVE to do ANYTHING❗️

You don’t HAVE to go to school. You don’t HAVE to find a job. You don’t HAVE to clean your room, work out, get married, have children, show up to work on time.

At this point you’re probably like🥴

Let me push it further. You don’t have to brush your teeth 🤷🏼‍♀️. You can absolutely be a person who doesnt brush their teeth (and you won’t be the only one in the world). Obviously, if you’re the kind of person who never brushes their teeth, you’ll likely also be the kind of person who lives with dental disease and bad breath, or someone who will have to spend a lot of time (and money) at the dentist. Some people may be fine with that and may feel more comfortable with those consequences than with getting up every day to brush their teeth.

I used teeth brushing as an extreme example, but we can apply this logic to anything. Going to school, having a job, dating. The main question to ask yourself is “why”. Why do I feel like I HAVE to do this thing? Whose voice is telling me that this is something I HAVE to do? Internal motivation sounds like: “I’m choosing to go to college because my classes are interesting and it will open doors that will get me closer to achieving my dreams”). External pressure sounds like: “you HAVE to go to college because your parents did not have a chance to go so now you HAVE to even though it may not be something you need or want”.

If you take some time, you’ll likely find many moments during the day when you’re dreading doing something (or feeling guilty because you’re not doing something) because you are telling yourself it’s something you HAVE to do. What if you didn’t?

What would it look like if you changed “I HAVE to _____”
into
“I’m CHOOSING to ____ so that I can ____ (this is where your “why” comes in)?

03/22/2021

I recorded this back in February and wasn’t going to post it because of how all-over-the-place and fidgety I was but then I said screw it, because the point I’m *trying* to make is important. So many people feel like they’re failing because they keep trying more and more self-help approaches but still feel like crap. Here’s why those inspirational/motivational/quick-fix guides on social media may be doing you more harm than good.

03/18/2021

It's hard to put the gratitude I feel into words. Being able to bring value and help my clients feel supported and empowered is everything.

★★★★★ "At first I was nervous about working with a Life Coach and being completely vulnerable with a stranger. But Coach Alla doesn’t feel like a stranger at all, she’s always warm, genuine and open. She puts the time and dedication into taking note on everything I mention, and can som...

03/10/2021

I won’t lie. “Inspirational” quotes & posts tend to make me sick. Maybe it’s just the over-exposure to “positivity” in my news feed, or my own hang-ups, but I feel much more seen by dark, self-deprecating humour and Natasha Lyonne’s character in Russian Doll (WATCH IT if you haven’t!!) when she says “Life is a f***ing nightmare, right? Being a person is a f***ing nightmare”. 🤷🏼‍♀️

I didn’t write this to be inspirational. I mean, if it inspires someone then that’s awesome, but what I’m really trying to say is that we can’t pick and choose the parts of ourselves that we decide to embrace, and reject the parts that kind of suck (anxiety, depression, loneliness, insecurities, etc.) Because they’re not going anywhere, and they also serve a purpose, even if that purpose isn’t obvious straight away. The same anxiety that paralyzes me when I have to make a phone call (I mean.... anyone else??) helped me kick ass behind the bar. The same high sensitivity that made it so difficult for me to learn how to have secure, long-lasting friendships and relationships lets me be empathetic and non-judgmental, which is imperative when working with clients. I could go on and on.

We’re whole beings, made up of allll types of parts. Some parts we love and are not afraid to show, and other parts we judge and try to hide and push down. All the parts deserve to be there, all the parts serve a purpose. Damn, this got unintentionally inspirational 😅

To summarize - being a human is hard, life is hard and traumatizing, and all we can do is learn how to use anything and everything at our disposal to make it a little bit less so. Don’t think that’ll fit on a tshirt 😅

03/03/2021

Do I really need a coach? Shouldn’t I be able to figure it out on my own?

Most of us have been conditioned to think that if we just work a little harder or push ourselves a little more we’ll be able to achieve anything we want.  And if we haven’t gotten there, then we’re just not trying hard enough, right?  The truth is, it can be really, really hard to figure out exactly how we’re getting in our own way or what limiting beliefs are holding us back. 

This is where coaches comes in. 

A coach offers an objective, unbiased view and is trained to help you get past all the clutter to the root of the problem and help bring awareness and a different perspective to the habits or thoughts, which have been getting in your way.  As the saying goes, it’s about working smarter, not harder, and if you’re reading this, it’s likely that you’ve already worked yourself half to death trying to figure it all out on your own (trust me, I’ve been there). It might be time to try another approach, and I’m here to walk you through it.

DM me to find out more!

02/28/2021

So excited to co-host my first ever Clubhouse room with my new friend, motivational speaker, entrepreneur, and fellow public health professional & coach Jani Rad TODAY @ 4:30PM EST.

We will be talking about our own experiences with figuring out our paths & the career world and taking questions from the audience. If you're feeling stuck or lost, feel free to join us! I have a few Clubhouse invitations left, message me if you'd like to join.

02/22/2021

There are a few reasons for why you may still feel stuck and beat down even though you’re reading a s**tload of self-help books & motivational quotes:

1) The advice does not take your personal strengths & struggles into account - it’s vague and general and might just be setting you up to fail.

For example, reading about how someone changed their life by waking up at 4am every morning, saying their affirmations 100 times in the mirror, working out for 3 hours, then going for a run & cooking a balanced meal every day for 3 years will likely not motivate you to make the same drastic changes.

If anything, it’ll probablt make you feel even more discouraged and unheard.

2) Reading and scrolling content alone will not hold you accountable to take action.

In fact, it may just feed into the little voice that tells you “See! Look at how great everyone else is doing, look at what they’re accomplishing, and you’re not accomplishing anything!”

Motivation & inspiration are an important part of helping you get to where you want to be, but only when they’re followed by learning exactly what your strengths & needs are and taking the actions that make sense for YOU.

I would love to help you do exactly that.

DM me if you’re interested in finding out more 💪🏼