One Day At A Time Marrige and Family Therapy Services, PLLC

One Day At A Time Marrige and Family Therapy Services, PLLC Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Credentialed Alcoholism and Substance Abuse Counselor

08/07/2024

Many people want to enjoy when things are going well in their relationships even though there are many lingering serious issues. They don’t want to have the awkward conversations and are willing to deal with random periods of tension and irritability that based on resentment. Taking the time to have challenging conversations gives a couple the chance to move forward without looking back. Take accountability, understand your partner’s feelings, and make the necessary adjustments in order to leave the past in the past. People say that they don’t want to focus on the past, but is the past really the past when it continues to show up in the present?

08/07/2024

Everyone knows how to improve his or her relationships. The difficult part is not knowing what needs to be done. The difficult part is putting pride aside and doing what is uncomfortable to create change. Doing what is inconvenient brings a great deal of comfort with it in the form of decreased tension and less arguments. Adjusting and compromising shows respect to and consideration of your partner that encourages him or her to reciprocate. Being right and seeking control is not worth the stress. A relationship is a team effort and a person cannot focus solely on his or her feelings if he or she wants a successful relationship. Choose your partner over pride and convenience. Choose what is truly important.

02/03/2024

Couples should try to learn from the past to avoid making the same mistakes instead of dwelling on the past to criticize each other. That is completely unproductive. In addition to discussing compromises and adjustments, couples should take the time to have discussions that offer support for individuals thst are still experiencing pain. Accountability and adjustments will allow couples to move past the past. Also, give your partner credit for making adjustments and showing the effort necessary to make progress. Mistakes and regression will take place, but apologize for those mistakes and continue to try to put forth consistent effort.

Many of the clients that I work with that have been unfaithful to their partners want to move past the infidelity immedi...
02/03/2024

Many of the clients that I work with that have been unfaithful to their partners want to move past the infidelity immediately and become upset when their partner brings it up. They have to be more patient, answer the questions that their partners have for them, and take accountability for the pain that they caused. It can be challenging to do so, but that is the only way to eventually return to a loving relationship without tension and resentment. Many men feel that their partners should not be upset because they do not have feelings for the women that they were unfaithful with. Women will struggle with that notion because they often attach feelings to intimacy.

10/21/2023

Don’t focus solely on attaining goals that will improve your relationship and beat yourself up for not getting there just yet. Pay attention to the small adjustments that are being made along the way towards attaining that goal to stay hopeful and motivated.

10/21/2023

Keeping your partner updated about your plans is not allowing yourself to be treated like a child. It is part of the basic respect necessary in a relationship. One also has to have a proper balance between time spent on their individual plans and time spent with their partner and family.

10/21/2023

Taking the lead in the relationship doesn’t have to involve imposing yourself and aggressive behavior. Use respectful and patient communication to get your partner on board. Doing so will increase the chances of getting the response you are looking for and will avoid creating lingering resentment that can eventually destroy the relationship.

02/12/2023

Even though you are the parent, still allow your children to have a voice. Also, take accountability for your mistakes. Avoiding doing so will only cause your children to resent you and possibly put themselves at risk to get back at you. Your children will be more likely to listen if they also feel heard.

02/12/2023

In the bedroom, how do you expect to be satisfied if you don’t tell your partner what you need? Waiting for your partner to figure it out will only keep you frustrated.

11/05/2022

Complacency is scary in a relationship. People begin to focus only on making money and taking care of children and forget about the connection. I understand that the relationship may never be what it was initially, but make time to spend with one another, to nurture the friendship, and to be intimate. Continue to talk about what can be done to maintain the spark. Don’t get comfortable like your partner will always be around. Don’t allow your relationship to become an obligation.

08/02/2022

Don’t rush the healing process for your partner after you hurt him or her. That is selfish behavior. That will also exacerbate the problem because the hurt partner will not feel respected. He or she will believe that you believe that what you did is no big deal and that he or she should just get over it. Be patient, take accountability, and don’t always expect your partner to be pleasant. You have to support your partner and understand him or her to get him or her back to that pleasant and comfortable place.

05/04/2022

Do not avoid difficult conversations. What is avoided can eventually become a severe problem over time. Resentment will build because an individual will continue to wonder what the other partner intended and many people tend focus on negative possibilities. It is better to have a tense discussion to obtain answers than to eventually lose the relationship. Listen to and avoid attacking one another during that conversation so both parties can remain engaged and focused on the topic. Of course there will be anger displayed in the conversation, but no one needs to try to hurt the other person. That accomplishes nothing. One can express his or her pain without being harsh.

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New York, NY

Telephone

+17187479814

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